Stories Questions and Explanations

•Depressing Facts/ If The Twins Were Alive•

So we know the twins hang around (they're about five or six in ghost form) Jane and Five but they take turns protecting their parents when they can. And let's face it William is a momma's boy and Charlotte is a daddy's girl. They switch on occasion but they have their favorites.

William: Does dad sleep?

Charlotte: No. He just drinks the dark stuff in the mug when he yawns.

William: ... ew

•••••

Charlotte: Does momma realize she makes pie when she's angry or stressed because she seems surprised when the oven dings.

William: She doesn't.

The Three Touch Game

It's well known that Jane and Five often say I love you but three taps or squeezes (it's been thirty years and Five still doesn't know that's what it means) but the twins don't know what it means either. They think it's a game. If they knew what they were actually saying to each other they would stop the game but they could run around for ages in the spirit world playing their game.

Features

William: He has his mother's curly blonde. He has a dimple on his right side much like his father and the same green eyes. His mother's nose and lips but he can pull off his father smirk. 

Wilma/Charlotte: She has the same beauty marks as her father on her left cheek. Her father's big doe eyes but the color is the same blue as her mother's. She also has her father's thick black hair.

Normal Life AU

Okay, obviously Jane and Five were much younger and were not drugged they had a normal drunken night after making peanut butter and marshmallow pie. Wilma's first name would actually be Charlotte (Jane, for whatever reason, doesn't like the alliteration between the two names). And they actually know they are having twins before they're born. Five used to tell Jane 'how nice of you to tell me twins usually skip a generation' this works until they find out Five and Luther are twins. Now Jane mocks him.

The twins love peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches (rip Jane she has to make so many of them a day) but they call them Papa's Sandwiches.

Someone had to watch the twins and they kept asking for Papa's Sandwiches but whoever was watching them assumed it was a restaurant. Eventually, the twins got upset and made one, split it in half like Jane does for them. They were three. How the Hell they reached the marshmallows remains a mystery.

The twins are crazy smart (lmao literally look at their parents) but it's gotten to the point where they can talk their aunts and uncles into doing anything for them. It's a wild strategic game for them to see who says no first. (It all started when they got bored of playing chess and battleship). The length their father's siblings are willing to go for them is impressive. 

Other than the manipulation they are very well behaved.

Another thing one should know when watching the twins is that they hardly ever sleep. We know that Five and Jane hardly ever do so at night they would all go stargazing. The twins have snuck out on family members babysitting them to watch for constellations. Well, William likes them more than Charlotte. Charlotte likes to chase lightning bugs.

•••••

I already told you which kid loved which parent but it's really true.

William is always in the kitchen or in their garden with Jane. He's momma's little helper. He always helps bake the food and make papa's coffee. He likes to see which plants are ripe and which ones aren't. William will pop up out of nowhere asking 'momma can I help?' and Jane always finds a job for him even if it's something stupid like 'go give your father a hug for me'. He does have his moments with his dad. Slapping his father's hand away from the food is really the most common one. But they go outside and Five will teach him anything he wants to know. Like the names of bugs and critters. They will finally build the fence Jane has been pestering about since she got pregnant. They do all of the house projects together, Charlotte helps sometimes but she gets bored with the waiting.

Charlotte is the wild child. She loves being outside and always collects the flowers for the vase on the table. When she's not outside she's hanging out in Five's study. She always minds him and his work but she just wants to know what all of the symbols mean. Five teaches her and soon she's doing small equations with him. She likes calculating the distance between stars. Charlotte does a lot to mimic her papa's behavior so she likes to drink out of coffee mugs, match his long strides when they go on family walks. Jane encourages this. Speaking of Jane, Charlotte and her mother love doing crafty things like sewing, embroidery, and knitting/crocheting. The amount of small stuffed animals Five has on his desk from Charlotte is enough to make it look like a small circus.

They soon had a new addition to the family. Five came home with a small golden retriever puppy delicately named Mr. Pennycrumb by the children. Jane didn't even question it when she got home from the market to see her family on the floor of the living room with a puppy.

They really are just a picture-perfect family.

If only that was how the story happened.