An Imperial Affliction

Lab Rat in Bayport City

When Jett asked me to be his girlfriend, I told him that he had no business falling in love with terminal girls. And when I found out what The Dutch Tulip Man and Carolyn had done to me, I was ripped apart from the insides and I don't think I'll be able to heal so easily this time around.

I am breaking.

But, I guess I should start from the beginning.

~~~~~~~~~~

"I know you."

I stiffened my arms, locking my elbows in place to hold up the heavy textbooks. Jett had followed me outside into the hallway after class. My mind felt blurry and I would have killed to transport myself into a black void of nothingness where I could breathe without thinking about it.

"Listen, I'm really tired and I have never seen you before in my life," I lied.

Jett kept his expression level.

"No," he said, "You have."

"Well, stop the world. Now, if you don't mind I have a wild goose chase to go on. I have to find my next class."

"I can help you."

"No. No. You don't have to. We saw each other once in a hospital clinic line. You're not obligated to be my friend." Subconsciously, I had realized where Jett was from and I had spoken without thinking. I realized my mistake too late and dropped my forehead on to the spine of my books. I inhaled deeply.

"So, you do recognize me then," said Jett with smile that screamed 'I win!'

"Okay, yeah. I think I might have saw you...in the hospital. You were rude to me if I recall correctly."

"In my defense, you were cutting."

"I had something important to do, okay?" I mockingly looked over him with wide eyes. "And it looks like you survived that grueling extra minute in line. I salute you soldier. Now, I really have to go."

"Yeah, me too. See you around?"

"Sure," I said.

After that, my interactions with Jett were episodic yet increasingly more enjoyable. Sometimes he would go the whole day without saying a word to me and other days I was the only one the world to him. Every time we talked it was almost like we were transcending time. Not in some spiritual or romantic way. No, it wasn't like that. It was just that whenever we talked, it was something completely new. We never continued past conversations, even if we didn't finish them. Once we left each others presence, whatever had happened didn't exist anymore. We could skip through the stream of time; meet each other wherever we pleased and not have to answer for it.

Yeah, it was nice while it lasted.

~~~~~~~~~~

All I can say is that I do it for my mother. Sometimes I think my life has become nothing more than an obligatory penance to her and I mean that in the nicest way possible. So, when she told me she wanted me to try a treatment, in my head I huffed and puffed, but on the outside I tried to look like I believed it might actually make me better. What her poor soul didn't understand was that I know my body better than anyone else does. I know it better than all those doctors and their fancy machines and graphs and I can feel it slowly draining away. I would tell her about it, but I already know she wouldn't even be able to conceive the thought. I swear it's written in her DNA. She just wouldn't get it.

"Great. A different type of chemo? A different way to administer it? I'm all ears, ma."

"No, it's not chemo. No more of that. I think. Just for a little while. If this new treatment...doesn't work- or..." Carolyn trailed off.