Dysfunctional (A Cuphead Devildice Fanfic)

His Regret

The Devil shot up in a cold sweat. He looked around the room, confused. He was in his own bed, in his own bedroom, in his own fortress. Had it all just been a dream?

He was panting hard, shaking with fear. the pain had felt so... so real. Then he felt a familiar feeling twisting through his gut. He leaned over the side of the bed and vomited onto the floor.

Next to him, King Dice grunted and sat up, rubbing his eyes.

"What in the... awe, dammit..."

Dice leaned over and rubbed the Devil's back softly in effort to soothe him. The Devil grunted and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Ugh..."

No wonder the pain had felt so real. It was real.

Morning sickness.

Dice sighed and looked over at the clock on the wall. He huffed and got up out of bed.

"5 in the mornin'... can't that kid pick a more reasonable time to make ya suffer?"

The Devil groaned as he tried to lay back down. Dice grabbed his arm and hoisted him up to his feet, careful to avoid the puke on the floor, glowing with angel blood.

"You ain't goin' back to sleep just yet, Bubba. We gotta get you... and that... cleaned up."

The Devil whimpered in pain and slumped against Dice, leaning his head on his husband's shoulder. He was struggling to keep his eyes open.

Dice lead him into the bathroom and flicked the lightswitch on. The Devil leaned against the wall as he tiredly watched Dice turn on the faucet of the tub. He bit his lip and stepped in front of the toilet. Lifting the lid, he dropped to his knees and vomited into the bowl.

Dice watched him with a sad look in his eyes. He turned off the water once the tub was filled and stood behind the Devil, softly rubbing his shoulders. The Devil groaned and slumped back against Dice's legs. His eyes were blurred with red tears.

"Come on, Bubba... Get up."

The Devil struggled to his feet, leaning against Dice for support. His knees felt weak and his legs were barely able to keep him standing. Dice helped him over to the tub. Once the Devil was in the tub, Dice flushed the toilet and headed over to the sink. He opened the cabinet under the sink and grabbed a bottle of shampoo and a hairbrush.

The Devil groaned as he leaned back in the tub, letting his body be submerged in the warm water. Illness dropped his body temperature below its typical 125 degrees, and this was a good way to keep him warm.

"D-Dice..."

Dice looked down at his husband and sighed softly.

"Yes, Bubba?"

"It hurts..."

Dice's heart broke to see the Devil like this. He leaned down and kissed his husband softly on the head.

"I know, Bubba... but there ain't much I can do about it. All we can do is wait."

The Devil whimpered in pain and weakly placed a hand on his stomach. All this trouble for a third... hadn't two been enough?

"Father has given you a second chance. Do not let it be in vain."

He shuddered despite his warmth, remembering what Messiah had told him in his dream.

"A second chance..."

He muttered under his breath. Surely Messiah didn't mean it, right? It was just a dream, there's no way his Father would... or would he? A second chance... was this child supposed to be a replacement for Snake-Eyes? Was he just supposed to forget all about his son, out there somewhere in the world, suffering who knows how badly because of the way he had treated him?

Dice squirted some shampoo into his hand and began to rub it into the fur on the back of the Devil's head. Lucifer sighed softly and closed his eyes. He always loved it when Dice would pet his fur or give him massages. Dice smiled softly and began to hum to himself.

The Devil purred softly like a cat. Dice chuckled and squirted more shampoo into his hand, this time massaging it into the fur on the Devil's shoulders. Suddenly there was a crash and a yell from the bedroom. Dice opened the door to see their daughter Lucille standing in the corner, a disgusted look on her face. Luci looked up at Dice.

"oh, hey Dad... Sorry about that, I tripped in the dark and almost landed in... that..."

She gestured to the glowing gunk on the floor. Dice chuckled and wrapped his arms around her, giving her a kiss on the forehead.

"Yeah, ya better watch out. What are ya doin' outta bed so early, hun?"

"I heard Mom throwing up so I came to make sure he was okay. Is he okay?"

Dice looked back at the bathroom door to hear the Devil groaning.

"To be honest, I ain't really sure... I think he might'a had another nightmare about... ya know..."

Dice pointed up towards the sky. Luci nodded in understanding. She looked around the room and sighed.

"I'll get an imp to clean this up. You two should go back to bed. And don't worry about the Casino, I'll take care of everything. You both need a break."

Luci leaned over and hugged her dad, kissing him on the cheek. Dice smiled softly and ruffled his daughter's hair.

"Alrighty then, I guess this is goodnight... I love you, sweetie."

"I love you too, Dad. You and Mom both."

Luci left the room to find an imp servant and Dice went back into the bathroom. He finished washing the Devil's fur and helped him out of the tub. He dried him off with a towel and then with the blowdrier. After that he helped the Devil back into bed and helped him into a sitting position.

Dice sat behind his husband, hairbrush in hand, and began to brush his fur. The Devil purred softly and closed his eyes, resting a hand on his stomach. Dice hummed softly as he swept the brush around the Devil's horns, careful to avoid them.

"Dice..."

"Yeah, Bubba?"

"Do you ever wish you'd never been born?"