The Vamp and the Ace | ✔

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ALARIC SERAFINO

KEVIN PALLIS

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'You can't tell this to any-'

'Vampire? I think I would able to tell the difference between a human and a pasty, pale vampire.'

'Not all vampires are pale and pasty like me.'

'So, are they black or yellow or brown-'

'No.'

'So, you're white.'

'You make it sound bad.'

'It's not. I am white too.'

'Stop talking.'

'You look like Jack Frost.'

'I like my blond hair. Leave me alone.'

'I like your blond hair too.'

'Anyways, back to the secret. I am-'

'GAY!'

'...No? This is my moment, Pallis. Let me be.'

'Sorry. It feels funny with you saying it.'

'As I stated previously, or at least tried to, I am...'

'Don't kill me with the-'

'I am pansexual!'

'Tension...Oh. So you like people?'

'The gist of it.'

'So, that is your secret?'

'Kind of. Have you ever noticed that I don't state my pronouns to you?'

'You mean when you refer to yourself in the third person and sometimes answer in the way people would have if they were in the 16th century? Yeah.'

'It is because...'

'You are killing me.'

'I am... Hey! It's your turn to reveal a secret.'

'Oh? Is it so? I am asexual.'

'What does that mean?'

'For a person who is evolving exactly at the same time with the world, you really seem to be ignorant about this word.'

'Does this mean you like sex?'

'Quite opposite. I just don't like sex. No sex for me. Not at all.'

'Oh. So you have never had sex?'

'I have had a fair share. Tell me a wild sex story.'

'I had sex with a man once but it was so terrible. I didn't feel interested at all.'

'Must have been a cheap guy.'

'We were in Las Vegas for sex. We had planned it for quite a long time.'

'Is it so?'

'It was romantic. Red rose petals, a bottle of champagne, strawberry covered in chocolate - all the cliche things. When things started to heat up, I was just not aroused.'

'Your penis wasn't up.'

'My penis wasn't up. God, that was so embarrassing. Luckily, I faked it till I made it.'

'But why did you go through with it?'

'Felt like. I had a meal so, it didn't matter much.'

'I see the way you think.'

'When you had sex, how did you feel?'

'I have created this analogy and I am so happy with the way I have formed this. Hear me out.'

'I don't have a choice so...'

'It is like, you're in a room full of cakes, sweets, pastries, doughnuts, all things sweet in a corner and exotic dishes and native, local dishes from every corner of the world. If you were in this same room, what would you do?'

'Have a feast.'

'Except, I wouldn't. I just don't feel like eating. I am not hungry. Or I am simply not interested. I don't know the reason but it doesn't appeal a lot to me.'

'Do your parents know?'

'No. And that is why my dad called you a whore. He thought I was having sex with you.'

'Because you bring a hoard lot of boys?'

'No...'

'...'

'Okay, yes. But you can't blame me. People liked me for sex only. The people I met didn't out me so I was thankful for that. Besides, I had a lot of tutors to teach me stuff. So, we studied in my room and, yeah.'

'Good.'

'Uh, hello? Now it is your turn. The second secret?'

'Not the second secret, per se.'

'Whatever it is, spill.'

'Okay. So, this has to do with why I am here. My parents threw me out, you see.'

'Why?'

'Because...'