Roadtrip Oneshots

(F) Sack - Bad for me (3)

Part 4 coming soon!
Follow my other book of Drabbles for filling up the holes when waiting for the next part! 😂
IG: quiet_roadie

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At this point, I didn't know if I was touch starved or absolutely petrified of anybody.

I was hyper-aware of every single touch.

Every. Single. One.

I was watching myself in the mirror, watching every single little drop of water gliding over my body, imagining they are having a race who's going to touch the tiled floor first. Whenever I saw myself, I saw red, shining imprints of his hands. Someone would say, "Ah, they could be anyone's hands," but no. I knew his hands so well, they were his. Not mine, not somebody else's, his.

My hand lifted up to place my palm over the invisible imprint under the right collarbone.

It burned so badly.

I pinched my skin between the index finger and thumb, squeezing as hard as I could to feel something else than him.

It didn't work.

"Jack, are you okay?" My soul almost left my body when I heard Kirsty's voice behind the door. She doesn't check up on me like that, she never does that so I've been locked in the bathroom for way too long most likely. My bare feet almost slipped on the floor, feeling how my heart with up into my throat.

"Yeah, why?" I asked, knowing the answer immediately.

"You've been there for almost an hour so I just wanted-"

"I didn't drown myself Squish, don't worry." At first, I really wanted to just shush her speech off but I ended up with a few chuckles to not worry her even more or to make her more upset. She cared, I knew she cared but everything started to grow over my head, slowly but surely.

I quickly dressed myself up in a hoodie and sweats, exiting the bathroom.

There she was, standing right in front of me with her hands open wide. It wasn't too hard for her to guess when I need some comfort. Sometimes I even thought she sees all of my thoughts, therefore it's so easy for her to tell when I need a hug or a nice word. She always had that little smile on her face. Something about that made me feel warm, almost as if everything how it was supposed to be.

"I can't, I am sorry." I apologized quietly, watching her hands slowly fall down by her sides, yet that soft smile didn't go away.

How much I wanted to just fall into those arms, so much I felt my entire body aching, tilting, falling into her arms, but I couldn't.

"It's okay. Netflix?" She suggested with a soft voice that was filled with genuine care. I smiled a little, it was more of a smirk than a full smile, giving her a reassuring nod.

As we both crawled under the covers with a laptop between our bodies, I couldn't help but fidget with my phone. I couldn't stop thinking about everything that happened outside, not to mention how bad I felt for punching him right in the face. What told me in my mind that was okay to do that? Am I really that emotionally blind?

Time passed by, my mind ignoring the TV show we put on as it kept wandering in the past.

Should I call him?

I need to call him.

It didn't take a long time for me to excuse myself from the bed and walk over to the living room. All the lights were on, thinking Kirsty really ran her mile into the room to check up on me, forgetting to turn the lights off. It was these small things that made me appreciate everything about that girl.