A Home For The Broken People

Sometimes forever goes in a minute

10:30 pm / 2:57 am
July 10th/11th 2020

That moment, in which the beat of a song flares through your head, swaying your body over hard floors, the floor that holds the memories of many nights where sleep only comes in the feeling of being numb.
Where the only things you can feel is the vibration of your side hitting the floor, harder than you fell for her.
Softness was never meant for me, not in the way soft petals flow through open air, or light kisses of lips against lips.
Driving through streets is a comfort which is no more, being replaced with blurry vision and white knuckles.
Street lights stringing out into a line which blocks out the frantic beeps repeating from my phone.
Finally tears slide down my face onto your sweatshirt, as much as they burn.
I never understood how you could make my own hurt feel like acid, make the air turn into smoke and the touch of a soft blanket seem so brash against my broken body.
My mind stutters through memories as if all I am is a tape playing on repeat, although the scratches of my favourite moments finally appear when I see how you have slowly destroyed me.
The Piano has never felt more terrifying.
The triumphant rush of the wind rolling through my hair will never be as freeing as it once was.
As it could be.
I hope you know what you have done to me.
I hope you know how much a heart can truly bleed.
I once told you how I felt like I was delaying the inevitable, pushing away all my feelings- how I could never truly breathe.
I have come to the realization that it will always be a thing,
Where I push myself into believing that we are meant to be.
You exhale your air into me,
Now I realize how bad pollution is, even after it leaves.
Even after the smog clears,
The after effects will always be here.
You will always be here.
The epitome of what forever and always was never meant to be.