An Honest Woman | Female Jaime Lannister | GOT/ASOIAF

Before II

Walking into Ashara's chambers, Jaime found them empty. 

"Where is the queen?" She rounded on the maid making the bed, a cold feeling of dread running through her veins. 

"I - I don't know, milady," The woman stuttered nervously. "Her Grace said she was going for a walk of the castle,"

It was a sunny morning, warm even for summer with scarcely a cloud in the sky, though the fine weather was ruined by the tragedy of the previous day.

Finally having enough of his father's insults and humiliations for being bookish, awkward and bad at fighting, Prince Lyonel had entered the Hand's tourney as a mystery knight. Somehow making it through the first tilt, his luck had run out on the second, where he ended up facing Gregor Clegane. 

Of course, the fool boy hadn't done his armour up properly, and a splinter from the Mountain's lance had pierced his throat. Through cries of alarm at the sight of such a deadly hit, the attendants had eased the mystery knight's helm off, only to be horrified at the sight of none other than the crown prince dying in the sand.

Jaime still remembered the terrible noise Ashara had made as she had practically leapt down the stairs, racing to her son's side. The queen had cradled his head in her lap, weeping horribly as the boy died in her arms, bleeding all over her lilac skirts as she screamed for the maester. Robert had been yelling something, the crowd was in uproar, and Jaime had hurried to her friend's side, in the end having to tear her away from the corpse of her only son so the body could be moved. 

The grief Ashara had never truly got over after Princess Maris' death had been doubled with the brutal killing of Lyonel. After the display at the tourney grounds, once they were away from it all, the woman had stopped crying altogether, and that concerned Jaime the most. The only expression on her friend's face was one of deep sadness, too sad even for tears. 

She had scarcely spoken a word the whole night, which they spent on their knees in the sept in front of the Stranger's statue, her face a mask. Jaime had never been devout, and did not pray, rather watched her friend.

They had returned to Maegor's holdfast in the morning, and she had seen the queen to her chambers before entering her own to change her clothes quickly. But when she had returned, she found Ashara gone.

"Did she take anyone with her?" Jaime demanded the chamber maid. The woman hesitated. "Well?"

"No, milady, she - she sent Ser Meryn away. She said she wants time alone, to be at peace," Cursing, Jaime was already halfway out of the room, flying down the staircase and out of Maegor's as fast as her long skirts would allow, ignoring the looks from the guards.

"Lady Jaime," A voice, Ned Stark, called to her in bemusement as she ran past him in the yard, and she didn't even hesitate before grabbing his arm and pulling him along with her. "What are you - "

"The already unstable queen has vanished, alone and grieving terribly for her son," Jaime snapped at him. "Help me find - " She broke off, seeing a lone figure walking along the battlements on the eastern side of the keep. "There," She ran, and Stark did too, seeming to catch on as he barked orders at his guards.

As they approached her, Ashara did not turn around. She was stood between two of the crenellations, holding on with one hand, the sea breeze catching her dark hair and her dress. She still wore the purple gown from the previous day, stained with her son's blood.

"Your Grace," Stark called out sharply. "It is not safe up there, you must get down," Ashara turned and looked at him, her violet eyes dry but her beautiful face impossibly sad.

"Don't worry, Ned," She said softly. "I'm not scared of falling,"

"Ashara, get down," Jaime said, impatient in her concern, moving closer. "No more pretending, we all know you want to jump off the walls. What about your daughter, what about Cassana? Imagine her hearing how her mother killed herself, growing up miserable and motherless, with only Robert as a father,"