Howling Heart

Chapter 4 - Shift Happens

 Panic swept through the pack. It rolled across the members in a whisper that swallowed the clearing. All eyes looked to my father as he stood on the ridge. I could see how worn down he was in his eyes, but he wouldn't falter. His heart was already hurt from breaking the news about pushing back my mate.

"The last time our pack faced a threat, my brother Tyr led us. How I wish he was here for council but alas we carry onwards." His shoulders relaxed as he spoke, and the pack seemed to calm at the mention of the former leader. "Moving forward from today, we must all make sure to be careful. I'm unsure of the intent of this new family, but they are here nevertheless. The safety of the pack is priority number one. Stay close to one another and be cautious of the newcomers but not overly. We don't want to single ourselves out." He looked down at me. "Until they are taken care of, all festivities will be on hold. I'm sorry, Ava."

I was supposed to be sad, but I felt my heart flutter with hope. All of the feelings I've had pent up about this faded into the background at that moment. My sigh of relief was audible. 

"It will be alright, daughter." My father placed a hand on my shoulder. His concern was that my sigh was out of sadness instead of relief. 

At that moment, I couldn't tell him otherwise, and I wasn't sure I would have even if I could. My body froze. While it might have been the perfect time to tell him. I would just have to utter the words I'm a lesbian. But the pack wasn't ready yet, and with hunters, on our doorstep, I swallowed my secret back down. "I know it will be." I smiled at him. I had years of practice. 

He turned himself back to the pack. "That means tonight will be the last hunt for a while. Again, I urge you all to be safe." He nodded and bowed out. He made his way down the rocky path to the field where the pack stood scattered. 

The moon hung high and cast her shadow long against the grass. My father, the great ladder Jotunn, let himself go. Normally, he let out a howl as he shifted, but today, his mouth stood frozen in silence as the wolf magic ripped through his body.

I watched him change, and I winced as I heard his bones break and regrow. I knew the pain, too. Where my father stood moments before now stood a wolf. He stood tall, as black as the night. His golden eyes scanned his pack. 

Being a werewolf is all about tradition. After he took his form, we all were allowed to take ours. I took a deep breath and looked to my friends for silent support. Finding something to focus on helped me ignore the pain. However, the pain from shifting wasn't what I wanted relief from, I wanted to shout my secret to the world, not yet.

I let the magic of the moon fill me. Its light ran through my veins. I felt the animal rise up in my throat. It was hot and hungry, and I was about to set it free. My body felt warm. It was always the precursor to the pain. I felt my skin rip, and the pain flooded my body. White hot light burned behind my eyes. 

I knew the process would only take a few moments, but those seconds would be drawn out into what felt like hours. My ribs were the first to crack. My breastbone split in two, and the cage that held my organs spread. It caused my body to lengthen. My legs snapped next. Joints disconnected and shifted only to reconnect again. My fingers grew extra joints, and my skull was being pulled out. What felt like electricity pricked my skin as long brown fur grew. There was one final snap, my ankle, and the pain melted away. 

I rolled my shoulders. The transformation always added new perks to my body. I could feel the muscles in my back settle into place. By this point, I didn't feel the pain anymore. I squared up and pulled myself to full height. The shift added a good extra foot onto me. I always felt massive in this form. I looked at my hand and flexed the elongated fingers, the now sharp claws that tipped them dug into my skin. I liked the odd sensation. It was more than familiar. It was home.

As I looked around, I could see the others. Some still in mid transformation, others were done and more than ready to hunt. Ronan was a solid black shadow now. His fur melted into the dark of the night. He smiled a toothy smile at me and let his tongue lull to one side of his wolf jaws. Even as an apex predator, he was still the class clown.

In the dark of the night, or maybe just because I realized she made my heart race, I found my eyes locked onto where Mae stood. Now in her place was a white wolf with a black blaze marking on her head. Her blue eyes caught my attention. I wanted to swim in them until the sun came up. She was stunning.

"Pack." My father's commanding voice forced my ears to swivel and my attention onto him. "Tonight, we run!" The entire pack watched him. We trusted him. He nodded instead of letting out the usual howl and turned into the woods. His powerful legs propelled him, and as he landed, his bipedal walk turned into a four-legged lope into the woods. The pack looked to me. There was always an order with these things. I threw myself into my own pace and took off into the forest behind my father.