Jesse's Girl (COMPLETE)

Chapter 21

* Catherine *

I was thankful that Jesse had gotten me away from Beau and his roaming hands, as nice as Beau was he just didn't seem to get that I wasn't interested.

I didn't know if Beau's actions were just him being a caring friend or whether they were something more. Either way it didn't change the fact that I still felt uncomfortable when his hands touched me.

So yes I was glad that Jesse had rescued me from that situation but it didn't change the fact that I was still pissed off at him.

Even after that ridiculously magical kiss, I was still mad.

Don't get me wrong I wanted that kiss just as badly as he did and after looking into those big green eyes I caved and kissed him but I was still bloody angry.

Having finally separated my lips from his I turned and stomped off.

In my own weird way I had let the green eyed boy into my life, I felt like he had seen parts of me that were usually so well hidden and the way he threw it all back in my face this morning had hurt.

Even though there was still plenty of the lunch break left I didn't want to deal with anyone so I made my way to my next class, opting to wait out the rest of lunch in the empty hall outside the classroom.

I carefully dodged groups of kids, smiling politely as they waved but made sure to keep my head down so I wouldn't get stuck in a conversation I was in no mood to have.

By now I'm sure the incident this morning was the talk of the school, although knowing how fast gossip travelled in this place I know Jesse's little stunt with Beau moments ago would quickly replace it.

I finally found myself in the solitude of the hall and rested my back against the cool wall, closing my eyes as I slid my body down to the floor.

'Fuck' I sighed in frustration as I massaged my still tender jaw.

In a matter of two days the green eyed boy had managed to turn my life upside down.

I'd had a plan.

I was just going to get through these last two years of school, keep my head down and avoid any drama. I had promised myself I would steer well clear of any guys, no matter how sexy they may be, so as to avoid any chance of anyone getting past my well constructed walls.

Two years and then I would be free.

After school I was going to leave this place, this town. I didn't know where I was going to go or what I was going to do, I just wanted to find a place where I could be me again. Find a place where I could allow everything that had happened to come to the surface and I could meet it head on, then I could put it behind me and try and allow the real me to exist once more.

I wanted to find a place free of judgement and gossip and the cruelty of kids words, then maybe, just maybe my body, mind and soul could really heal.

Yeah yeah I know what you're thinking, if you know you need help why not just seek it now. Why put yourself through any more needless suffering? The fact is I felt like I deserved it, I felt like I needed to live with this pain for a little while longer, I felt like I deserved to live with this pain.

I felt like it was my punishment.

My punishment for Joe.

Rationally speaking I knew my thoughts were unfounded, that my way of thinking was ridiculous, but when someone you love more than anything in this world dies all rational thought and feelings die with them.

Well at least it did for me.

Joe's death would have happened whether I was in his life or not, it wasn't intentional or an accident, it was just a cruel twist of fate that nobody had any control over and I know there wasn't anything I or anybody else for that matter could do to save him.

I knew this, but it didn't change how I felt. It didn't make me feel any less guilty that I couldn't save him, especially when I know without a shadow of a doubt that he had saved me.

'Just get through these two years' I sighed to myself as the school bell rang once more and students started to file into the now bustling hall.

I climbed to my feet and grudgingly walked into class, knowing my brain was in no place to deal with algebra I let out a defeated sigh, what choice did I have.

I took my usual seat by the window and mindlessly pulled out my text book and a pen as I waited with apprehension for Beau to arrive.

Algebra was one of the three classes he and I had together and in all of those classes he made it his mission to sit next to me, flirting unashamedly the whole time.

I would always just subtly deflect his advances while I casually mentioned the word friend as many times as I could. Yes I know I should just shut it down but he was basically the king of the school and I didn't want to make my life any harder then it needed to be by being on his bad side.

After all he was basically harmless, he was just tiring if anything.

Staring out of the classroom window I felt a body slump into the chair beside me with a small grunt.

As I looked over, mentally preparing myself for the questions Beau was sure to fire off about what happened at lunch, I was more then a little relieved to see Jesse had taken the seat next to me, although he didn't acknowledge my presence or throw even the tiniest glance my way.

The sense of relief was quickly replaced with annoyance as Jesse's words from this morning echoed in my ears and then realising his sitting next to me would probably piss Beau off even more I let out another frustrated sigh.

As if on queue I could hear Beau's boisterous and charismatic voice as he walked into the room and as quickly as I heard it, it was gone.

I glanced over to see what the issue was as I saw Beau glaring at Jesse sitting next to me.

'Shit' I mumbled under my breath, as I discreetly watched Beau stride purposefully in our direction.

'Seriously dude' he seethed, but before he could continue Jesse interrupted.

'I said she's not your girl' Jesse replied flatly, matching Beau's intense stare.

Before the situation could escalate any further Mrs Steel, our algebra teacher walked in.

'Ok ok everyone take your seats, that means you too Mr Beckett' she said with an air of authority as she eyed Beau who hadn't made even the slightest effort to move.

'Now' she said, a little firmer this time.

'Beau Beckett, what is he a marvel character' I heard Jesse chuckle under his breath and as hard as I tried I couldn't hide my smile at his wittiness.

Beau finally relented and took a seat two rows behind me but not before sending me a questioning look and glaring at Jesse one last time.

'So much for keeping my head down' I mused dryly to myself before returning my focus to the work on the board.