The Bad Boy is Back (Book 2)

Chapter 10: I Couldn't Save Him

-Noah-

I still didn’t know how to put my words together the way I wanted. But how hard is it to just ask? Clearly, hard enough. “Do you remember what you said to me?” That was a good way to ease into it.

But why ease into it? I can’t give a reason why I do half the shit I do.

Scott leaned back against the couch and let out a long sigh. “Obviously.”

                “Why haven’t we talked about it?”

                “You haven’t brought it up.”

                “I didn’t think I would have to, Scott. You can’t just say something like that and expect me to just not ask about it.”

He shrugged his shoulders and leaned over his legs. “I know I shouldn’t have said that.”

I don’t think I would have went that far. “Why would you tell me you killed him? What was the point of that?”

                “I wanted you and Willow to be afraid of me.” His tone was even, not holding a single drop of regret.

He has no clue how bad I want to hurt him right now. “All of this. Everything you’ve done for the past two years has been for absolutely nothing.” I spat. “You’ve ruined my life, along with your own. For what, Scott?”

Still his face was expressionless. “It wasn’t all for nothing. It was for my mom. Someone who couldn’t be here today because of our father. You know nothing, Noah. You have no idea how bad I feel all the time. You have no clue what’s happening to me.”

I want to feel sorry for him, but I can’t. Something inside of me is still telling me not to trust him. “Why hurt me?” I choked. “I’m your brother.”

Scott just sort of laughed.

                “What’s so funny?” I asked, clearly annoyed.

                “That’s the first time you’ve actually called me your brother like you wanted me to be.” He leaned back again. “I don’t expect you to forgive me for what I’ve done.”

Didn’t plan on it. “You’re my brother whether I want you to be or not. And I’m done trying to pretend we’re not. Because I would never, ever, do any of the things you’ve done.”

Scott looked utterly defeated. “That’s why we’re different.”

                “Just tell me. Did you do it?”

He hesitated, but shook his head. “I didn’t kill Jesse.”

Still the words sent shivers through me. “T-then who d-did?” I stuttered.

                “I wish I could tell you—”

                “Don’t lie to me.”

                “I’m not lying to you. Telling you I did was stupid and I regret it. I wasn’t nice to Jesse but I had no intentions on killing him that night.”

He remained calm, barely collected.

For some odd reason, it was making me nervous. “You were there that night.”

Scott nodded, and was in no rush to deny anything. “He called me and was a blubbering mess. I hadn’t seen Jesse for two weeks before that night. He wanted something to make him feel better, if you catch my drift. After the guy came and dropped off our stuff, we hung out for maybe an hour. I left and maybe about halfway back to my house, I realized I forgot my wallet.” He paused to collect his thoughts as he let out a shaky breath. “I went back to the apartment and I found him passed out on the floor. He wasn’t responsive and I know I should’ve called an ambulance. He didn’t have a pulse, his hands were cold…”