Headphones

Chpt 1 Invisible?

I wish I was normal.
Not popular.
Just normal.
I don't want to stand out but I also don't want to blend too much in. I don't want to become a sheep or a clone but I wish I wasn't looked at. Yet lately I've found it the opposite. I'm sick of no one looking at me. Not my parents. Not my teachers. Not my peers. I am not important. I'm just liam's sister. Don't get me wrong I love my brother it's just. He's done everything already. He's good at everything and everyone loves him. All of the teachers love him. I constantly get told that I should be good at this because Liam was. Or Liam would have gotten that already. Or Liam was better.

I'm not Liam.

I'm no one.

I'm in year 10. I've had the same home room for 4 years almost and there are still people in it that don't know my name. I know if could be worse, I mean there are a few perks to being invisible
Perks of invisibility
1.  No one knows you enough to bully you
2. 
Okay I can't think of anymore right now but there has to be more. Right?
Disadvantages of invisibility
1. Picked last for everything
2. People calling you "girl", "her", "what's her face" as they don't know your name
3. Never on the invite list...to anything
4. Always in the way

Except this is without the addition of a perfect older brother. Because that comes with a small amount of being noticed.
Things like "no way are you liams sister. He's so cool."
Or, "hey your related to Liam right. Can you give him my number?"
That second one will always disgust me.

There is however one place where I don't feel like a nobody. Music has always been a passion of mine, I mean I've come to terms with the fact that it is highly unlikely if not impossible for me to make a career out of it but I love it. And as much as I don't really think I am one of many talents, I'm not terrible at it. I mean I'm no Mariah Carey but I can hold a tune, and I'm no billy Joel but I can do the basics of piano. I'm certainly no Michael Clifford but I dabble in guitar and I am no Ashton Irwin but I love percussion and am forever tapping a rhythm on anything near me.

Music has a sort of spell over me that makes me feel loved. Except unlike others it doesn't make me confident. As much as I dream to play in front of hundreds, I can't even play in front of my family. I only ever sing or play when I'm alone or know no one is listening. If I need to escape reality in public I will put in my headphones and drown the world out with the soothing sounds of a playlist I titled "crying in an uncool way".

It is best not to disturb me if I'm in the midst of an escape. I mean I won't yell or anything but if I don't have music I will be a proper grump of company.
Liam knows this. He caters to this.

Others should be more like Liam