Alexandra Black has had everything she's ever wanted all her life. New clothes, shoes, cars, you name it. But what will happen when something she doesn't want, gets handed to her? Feelings for a certain Sebastian Kingsley.
Sebastian Kingsley is the...
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I AM ALEXANDRA FUCKING BLACK.
I don't need to feel an ounce of guilt for what happened last night. I trust Sebastian with all of my heart, but he needs to understand that I am not ready to tell anyone else about Jackson. At least not yet.
After he stormed out of our room, I cried myself to sleep. The thoughts that were running through my mind were similar thoughts that I was thinking back when I was with Jackson. And that scared me. I know that Sebastian would never make me feel bad about myself, he would never intentionally hurt me. But last night, the anger and hurt that was evident in his eyes, broke me. It shattered every brick that built my wall back up.
Jackson never respected me. Sebastian never respected me. But they were too different kinds of disrespect.
Jackson never used to talk to me about anything, not any of his problems or how his day was. Couples are supposed to confide in their significant other. He used to tell me what I can and can't wear, eat, say. But the sad thing is I listened to him because I thought that what we had was love. He was harsh, cruel, angry, unsupportive, but he was also affectionate. Almost too affectionate, as if he was marking his territory. Some people are possessive which can be sweet, but Jackson was a whole other level of possessive. Sebastian and Nicolas were always apart of my life before I dated Jackson, but he despised when I even looked at them, let alone breathed near them.
Sebastian disrespected me in a completely different way. It's hard to put into words how different it was. I say that he disrespected me differently because he actually respected me. And I didn't know how to act around him. He was the complete opposite of Jackson and he wasn't even my real boyfriend. He complimented me, whispered sweet nothings to me, protected me from any harm. But most of all, he became one of my closet best friends. He helped my self confidence build back up when it was at an all time low. But now it's at an all time high.
The bitch is back.
•••
A knock on the door distracted me from finishing off the final looks of my outfit today. I mutter a come in to whoever was outside and waited for them to enter.
"Miss Black, you seem to have broken my best friend," Nicolas came waltzing into my room with a small grin that doesn't quite reach his eyes like it usually does.
"Have I? Huh, what a shame that I simply do not give a fuck," I muttered to him as I began applying some mascara to my already long black lashes. Nicolas huffed in response and stood next to me in the mirror.
"Why don't you give a fuck Al? He left the house 10 minutes ago to pick up Sofia and James from the airport looking horrible. What happened Al?" He asked me quietly, his eyes burning into my reflection with furrowed brows.
"He thinks I don't trust him even though I do. I didn't want to tell him about what happened when Jackson and I broke up. He was an ass and strokes off like a child. I cried myself to sleep. Happily fucking ever after," I muttered out to him in annoyance as I put down my mascara and picked up my bold red lipstick.
