Can I Come Home? -Roswell, New Mexico

Living Out At Sea

May 2010

Roswell, New Mexico

Ever since their road trip Michael and Dani have been growing closer and closer every single day. It's been nearly two years since Rosa died and Alex left. Dani still hasn't told Michael about Rosa or the fact that her ex is actually dead. But, honestly what would be the point anyways. I mean, it wouldn't change anything. Besides even in death she wants to please Rosa who wouldn't have wanted him to know. In fact, not betraying Rosa is the only reason she isn't with Michael now. She doesn't want to betray her but, she's fallen completely in love with him and...that feels like the ultimate betrayal. Plus, even if she wasn't thinking about Rosa she'd be thinking about Alex. Alex who she knows is in love with Michael, Alex who she knows she's still never gotten over. I mean, how is she supposed to move on when she doesn't believe it would be right?

She goes to Rosa's grave everyday, even now. She cleans her stone, replaces the flowers. Plus, she always wears the bracelet Rosa made her. Rosa was right, it would help her remember her when she wasn't around. She had added a the bracelet she gave Rosa to the collection of things on her gravestone. Rosa hadn't gone a day without wearing it, she almost never took it off. So, she returned it to her, it was only right that it be with her always. Dani was siting in front of Rosa's grave talking to her. "Rosa, I miss you everyday. I know I say that every time I come but, its true. i miss your laugh, your voice, the way you smiled, but most of all, I miss you. Your never ending wisdom, how it seemed like you had an answer for everything. I miss how you'd kiss me and us singing together. And god, the way you danced. It was always beautiful. I miss seeing your art around town, I really miss that. I really miss you.

But, lately, that loss has become less crippling. I can actually sleep at night without crying myself to sleep. And the reason is Michael. I haven't felt this connected to someone in a long time. Maybe its because we're so alike but, all I know is...I've fallen for him and I don't know what to do. I tell myself the reason I won't try anything with him is because of you but, I know you'd want me to be happy. That's all you ever wanted for me. It's one of the things I loved about you. I know you'd want me to move on, you'd be happy for me. I'm just afraid of getting hurt again. All of my relationships have ended in disaster. Me and Alex. Me and you. No matter what, someone always leaves and, I don't know what to do."

"You should tell him." "Maria! Don't scare me like that." "Sorry. It's just. You said it yourself, she'd want this for you." "Yeah, but she always said to keep a cage around your heart." "Yeah but, she'd tell me to find someone like you. Find someone you connect with and just be with them. It might hurt, you might get hurt. But the ride, it's totally worth it. You know, she told me she wanted you, Michael, and Alex to reconnect right?" "No, um she encouraged me to but, I didn't know she talked to you about that." "Yeah, she said she wanted you to be happy." "What does that mean?" "It means, she knew you still had feelings for them, and that she wanted you to ride. Only if it was what would make you happy." "Why? Why, would she do that? Why, would she think I-"

"Because she knows you. She knows you'd never hurt her. But, she knew how you felt about them, how you feel right now. She knows that you wouldn't even be able to consider the fact you have feelings for them against yours for her because, you're loyal to a fault Dani. You ride out the waves, hold on for dear life, no matter how much it hurts you or if you just want to let go. Because that's who you are. And I know you well enough that even after this you won't make a move on that boy. Not for a while at least. Not until you drown, or finally let go." "I can't" Dani voice breaks and she has tears in her eyes. "I know" Maria nods and then hugs her. "Does this mean you forgive me?" "There was never nothing to forgive. I just needed to wrap my head around it. Besides, I was mourning my best friend. I wasn't ready for change either. I just needed time. Which is exactly what you need. And maybe some tequila." Maria tease and they both start laughing together.

They stay there together, with Rosa, until the sun goes down. Eventually they got up and went there separate ways, promising to see each other soon. When Dani finally made it home she found Kyle passed out on their couch with his books sprawled out all around him. She was so proud of him, he was going to become a doctor. She always knew that he was meant for greater things, it just took him a while to figure that out himself. She heads to her room where she finds Michael asleep in her bed. Odds are he had been waiting up for and fell asleep. This wasn't the first time she's found him like this, it was especially expected if he got truly wasted and was feeling down. She she him of a few layers, got ready for bed herself and then crawled in with him. And yeah, so she wasn't quite ready to let go yet, but she wasn't letting herself drown either.