Living Emotion: The Balance

Part Two: Destroy Negativity

The world in my mind becomes blurry and faint, the noises hitting my ears hard to classify as either shouts or something else. If they are shouts, someone saying something, then I can't decipher the words.

The motions unfolding before me are just as mysterious- all I can make out is a palette of colors that I recognize but can't put a name to. Everything is moving fast and everything I feel is intense and urgent.

I feel such a real, visceral terror that makes my heart pound so hard my body jerks with the desire to bolt up, to jerk myself free from the grasp of this nightmare.

But why? What is it that's going on?

My back arches as something burns in my mind, a wound I can't decipher agonizing me. Then the crescendo comes, and for a split second the veil muffling my ears is lifted. It's just long enough for me to hear the conflict.

"Please, don't do this!"

"I didn't go this far just to back down now, it has to be done. Of course I wish there was another way, but what can you do?... At least I'll have you in my memory. It was fun while it lasted!"

A reddened weapon is raised, arms raised over the head twice. One to deal a death blow, another to shield from that blow.

"Just look at it this way: you can sleep forever now! I know much you love to sleep!" The weapon swings.

Then the chains binding me free and I shove myself up, choking back the cry of terror building in my throat.

I swallow hard and force it all down just so I can breathe, letting out shuddering pants as I wipe the sweat from my brow.

Another one so soon? I can't believe so much is going to go wrong! But- but this one is too vague, I don't even know who was involved in that one! Who was the attacker, who was the victim? Their voices were so distorted and I couldn't see their faces...

I curse under my breath and glance at Posilyn, who lays beside me fast asleep. She's not normally a napper, but I guess even she couldn't resist the warmth and breeze. I almost want to wake her up just to have some company, but I know that I can't because I don't want to worry her. How could I even begin to tell her what's wrong when I can't even figure out the reason why something is wrong?

Instead, I do the rational thing and go to call for help from someone I know can help me.

The only phone we have is hooked up in the entertainment room- an older model that hangs on the wall and has a chord to keep it too far from the receiver. We used to have the more modern home phone that was wireless, but Posilyn would call Nick, carry it off, and then lose it for weeks on end.

Once I've reached it, I pick it off the receiver and dial Nick's number, sitting down on the floor and listening to it ring. Holding my breath, I wait to see if he'll pick up, but...

"You've reached Nicholas Spirit, please leave a message after the beep."

I wait for the beep, refraining from sighing as I murmur, "Hey, Nick? It's Negito. Um... Please call me when you get this... Sorry." I click the button to send it, putting it back on the receiver. I let out the sigh I was holding in, rubbing my eyes. Now what do I do? I really need to talk to him.

Truthfully, I know there's nothing I can do. He's at work, and he's probably in a meeting or something that can't be interrupted. So I simply resign myself to waiting, going to the kitchen and getting another cup of tea. I sip at it slowly, trying to focus on it and only it to ease my nerves.

It works as I make my way through the cup, but at about halfway through I hear the phone ringing and I startle. With my anxiety spiking again, I rush back to answer the phone, holding it to my ear and calling, "Hello?"