seven eleven - choi chanhee

42

tw/ suicide.

the thought would not leave yeona ever since she got out of the bath. it kept repeating, over and over again. she wanted to scream out and tell the demons to leave her alone, but they kept telling her that there was no way out. walking back into the bathroom, she grabbed the sleeping pills tub from the medicine cabinet and entered her bedroom, checking to see if the halls were empty as she went inside and closed the door behind her.

maybe what she was doing would end the pain. maybe it would all go away. walking over to the desk next to her bed, she took out a piece of paper from a sketch pad and began to write.

to whoever finds this, i'm sorry.

i'm sorry i wasn't strong enough to keep fighting. eomma, appa...i am sorry that i was chosen to be your daughter. i have disappointed you. mirae, i hope you and jaemin are really happy together, and that you have lots of children and pets...please be happy, thank you for being an amazing older sister to me. hyejin, i hope you get to achieve everything you've always dreamed of, you are so talented and beautiful, you've worked so hard. chaewon, you've always been there for me. always. please be happy with kai...taeyang, my little brother, look after mom and dad, keep embracing your unique personality and keep your head up and look forward on the path that you're travelling down. hayoon-ah, my gorgeous little sister...you can have all my day6 merchandise and CDs. keep being your crazy and unique self, please don't change. hopefully one day you can be with felix, if you're made for each other I believe that you will be together forever. and aera, my beautiful baby sister, please don't be like yeona. don't feel ashamed, be strong and be happy every day. uncle kevin, thank you for being the best uncle in the world, for teaching me how to draw and play saxophone, for being there for mom. to all my cousins, aunts and uncles, my grandma...even my heinous grandparents who i don't even know if they are alive or not, i am sorry i'm not enough. i am sorry i can't go on.

i love you all so much. choi yeona.

yeona wiped the tears that had fallen onto the page and folded it, putting it under her pillow. taking one last look into the mirror, she sighed as she opened the pill box and took the entire dosage.

it was beginning to sink in that she was dying. her spirit was leaving her. she wanted peace, she wanted to be free. looking around her room at her posters and pictures of her family, she realised that she was going to miss this all so much. she'd miss waking up to her blue walls every day, her soft bed and her view of vancouver out of her window. the small things...maybe this was better than heaven.

yeona didn't want to die, she just wanted to be free. but it was already too late. she could have been free alive but couldn't believe she was strong enough.

"mom!!! dad!!!" she screamed, falling into unconsciousness slowly and slowly, realising that her life was ending...ending...

"what is it? AHH! What did you do?" chanhee yelled upon seeing his daughter lying on the floor. lexie followed and immediately she knew what was going on.

"eomma...appa...i don't want to die anymore," she whispered, choking slightly on the words.

chanhee and lexie both wanted to burst out crying but they knew that they had to save their daughter if it was the last thing they did.

on the way to the hospital, chanhee was swerving in and out of cars, driving like a maniac whilst lexie sat in the backseats with her fifteen year old daughter on her knees, rubbing her back as yeona mumbled with tears streaming down her face.

"moma...i don't wanna die anymore..."

lexie tried to hold back the tears but they kept strolling down her face uncontrollably. "don't worry, my darling...i'll save you, somehow..."