I dreamed about waking up my boyfriend with kisses like every time I was always in little space and I tried. I got pushed away and got told to stop. I know this means nothing to you but I always dreamed about this when I was happy when I wanted someone to love me when I thought I was good enough for someone and just to be pushed away like that really felt like my family pushed me away when my brother went to jail and then I turned over and said I'm sorry I won't ever do that again and nate said I'm sorry this is why I fucking can't do anything right and turned into the victim like normal. Just hurt you know I tried being cute I tried thinking I was cute but I just laid here silently crying. Knowing I shouldn't have done it I sat up crying and he went to sleep and the more I say anything or showing feelings they never matter they mean nothing. The more I sit here and cry the more I know how much I'm broken. 💔💔 but I sure to miss being valid I miss not crying every night. 💔
