"so..." i start:
"i woke up in a random persons house who lived over an hour away from me and i had no memory of getting there when i got drunk once"
"i used to have the nickname 'toes' in year 10 because i sold some feet pics to this guy at my school and everyone found out"
"i accidentaly knocked someone out during a concert once"
the boys look at me with confusion painted all over their faces. "alex who the fuck have you made friends with" james jokes.
"so about the feet pics" will says "how much?" he laughs as the others take the piss for him having a foot fetish.
"you know if you joke about a fetish enough you actually develop it" james says to will, who starts to look very concerend.
george furrows his eyebrows "how do you even knock someone out accidentaly?"
"i had a glass in my hand and kinda like clobbered them" i laugh. "which ones the lie then huh?" i say looking around.
they argue between the feet pics and concert for a while before deciding on me waking up in someones bed. i laugh and tell them the real lie, which was me knocking someone out at a concert.
they're shocked to say the least, but more about the feet pics to be honest. will seemed a little too keen on them.
"george, you next" i smile over at him.
"right..." he pauses and thinks.
"i had sex to skrillex once"
"on a night out in america, i was forced to drink my own cum"
"i had a pet fish as a child, and it got more attention than me when people came round so i snuck downstairs when everyone was asleep, took it out the tank and left it on the floor to die."
we all burst out lauging "fucking hell i thought dylans were bad" will claps his hands as george laughs along.
"really? your CUM? you'd have to be held at gunpoint or something" i say, grimacing at the thought.
"probably why he hides his face now, so they don't find him and ask him to drink more" stephen says which makes george laugh.
"i think the lie is the fish one because it's the most normal one up there" james says, taking a swig of his drink.
"you think this man has drank his own cum?" alex says, pointing to george which makes us all burst out lauging.
"you really think this man has had sex?" will adds, which makes us laugh even more.
we all finally decide on the cum one being the lie, george reveals it was true, and the skrillex one was the lie.
this man. has drank. his CUM.
"think i need some more drink after that fucking hell." i say and make my way over to the kitchen area. the boys are still engaged in discussion about george and his trip to america, so i take the oppertunity to pour some of georges expensive vodka into my cup.
i reach for the coke but then stop. fuck it. who needs mixers anyway. i down my cup and pour another, i literally can't stop. i love how it makes me feel.
i don't think about the bad things, i'm happy. i down the next cup and chuckle to myself.
everything feels okay for the first time in forever.
shit, i'm gonna throw up. looks like i do have a limit afterall.
goodbye moment of clarity. hello regurgitation.
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