Nothing to be afraid of (SebaCiel fanfiction)

CHAPTER 2

Hello there :-) another chapter here :-) hope you like it 

I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE KUROSHITSUJI CHARACTERS

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SEBASTIAN POV

I prepared the bed as Master ordered. I was waiting for him to come out of the bathroom, but he was taking his time.

He was acting really strangely lately. Whenever I touched him he flinched. When I tried to undress him or wash him like now, he would push me away.

Did I do anything to scare him? Was he afraid of me? I don’t recall anything that could have made him scared of me.

I hope he wasn’t. I couldn’t live with myself if he did. I don’t quite know why. In all those long years of my existence I was used to human affection. I had few masters that were so desprate for love they contracted me for being their lover, but I have never felt anything like this before.

Ciel have always been different to me. He lost everything and yet still used that hatred and grief to stand up. At first, I really enjoyed him playing at adult, but he really is just a broken child inside. Now I am afraid for him. Sometimes I hear him scream because of the things he sees in his nightmares. When that happenes, I always sneak into his room and calm him in his sleep. He never sees me, but I am always there for him.

It’s not because of the contract. And that scares me.

It was quite a long time since I left him in the bathroom.

I knocked on the door: „Young Master? Do you need any help?“

There was no response, I started to panic: „Young Master?“

Nothing again: „Young Master, I am coming in.“

I opened the door and what I saw was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Ciel was laying on the ground, wrapped in towel, fast asleep. The day must have been really exhausting for him.

I came closer to him. I brushed the blueish hair from his eyes and smiled. I must admit that I understand why I have never fell for a human before. The most beautiful woman is nothing in comparision to Ciel.

I picked up his fragile body and carried him into his bed. It was too big for such a small boy.

I dried him off with a towel and put his night shirt on. As I put a cover over him, my face was close enough to feel his breath. It smelled very sweet because of all the cakes I make for him.

When he is awake he always puts on a mask of toughness – he always tries to look like nothing can shake him. But when he is asleep, he looks very peaceful, almost happy.

But I, of all people, know he isn’t happy. I caressed his cheek and brushed the fringe out of his eyes. He smiled a sweet smile.

„Goodnight, Ciel,“ I whispered although he couldn’t hear me.

I stood up from his bed and walked out of his room, heading for mine.

CIEL POV

„No, please, Mummy,“ I screamed as I woke up, sitting up on my bed. I felt the tears going down my cheeks. That same nightmare even after all those years. Five years after the fire and I am still crying out for my parents.  

Wait, something wasn’t right. My bed? Don’t remember going! I look under the cover and blush. I had my nightshirt on – Sebastian has changed me.

I heard a light knock on the door and when they opened, they revealed Sebastian. He was wearing just black trousers and a white shirt, first three buttons undone.

„Is everything in order, Young Master?“ he asked from the door.

„Y-yes, e-everything is f-fine,“ I replied, not looking at him. That sounded horrible, no one with a right mind would believe that.

Definitely not him. He closed the door and walked towards my bed.

„What are you doing Sebastian?“ I asked, surprised.

„This is the second time this night, my Lord. It’s getting worse,“ he said with concerned eyes. No, they were not concerned, he doesn’t care about you.

„I don’t remember letting you in, butler,“ I said sternly. I felt I was about to cry and the last thing I wanted was him seeing me like that.

If I didn’t know better I would say that he was hurt. I looked away.

„Very well than. Goodnight, young master,“ he said quietely and walked out.

The second he closed the door, the tears spilled out. There is no way I will be able to go on like this.

SEBASTIAN POV

When I walked out of his room I leaned against the wall. What did I do to him that he pushes me away like this? I wanted to tell him how I felt so much, but he would just laugh at me.

He made it quite obvious that he cares no more about me than about any other servant in this house. He cared very little about others.

I felt like I was going to take a Demon sword and run it through my chest to stop the pain. I felt something go down my cheeks. I touched it and it was water. You are crying, idiot. I have seen many people cry before but I never actually thought that I would do it myself in my life.

The only thing I could think of was, that I will try to be the best butler for Ciel, even if he doesn’t love me. I will do anything to stay close to him.