Humanity [4]

Chapter Four

"Take a picture - it'll last longer," Charlie grumbled.

Gus jumped. He couldn't help staring - Charlie's face was battered and bruised. His left eye was so badly swollen that it still refused to open, and his split lip meant that Charlie could only speak in a gruff mumble. Poppy had done a good job of wiping the blood from Charlie's face, but what lay underneath was just as raw and unsightly. Garish purple bruises blossomed across his cheeks, covering up the angry red blotches and gashes on his handsome face. Charlie's nose was almost certainly broken - if not, fractured - so that Gus could barely recognise Charlie's profile.

"I thought you were still asleep," Gus said. 

Charlie cracked open his good eye. "Sorry to disappoint you."

"Do you need anything? Water? Painkillers?"

Charlie shook his head, wincing. Between them, Poppy and Gus had kept on top of supplying Charlie with the strongest painkillers they had on the farm. Gus had barely left Charlie's side that night. He had slept, hunched over in the chair beside Charlie's bed, forcing his own heavy eyelids open every few hours to replace the ice packs on Charlie's nose. Much of the swelling had gone down, but Gus had the distinct feeling that Charlie was in more pain than he let on.

"Charlie..."

"Don't. Just don't. I don't need you to pity me because I look like a hamburger."

"I wasn't going to pity you. Hell, at least you're alive. That's more than most of our friends."

Charlie paused. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be cranky...it's just I sense that you're holding something back."

Gus paused. He had been mulling over these words and his feelings all night, but now the time had come to say them, he felt suddenly nervous. Damn Charlie for always giving me butterflies.

"I know we said we wanted to take things slow," Gus started. "And yeah, I was freaked when you said you wanted me to be your boyfriend. Mostly because I wasn't expecting it, but also because... well, I wasn't expecting you either."

"You're butchering this speech more than my face," Charlie said drily. 

"I didn't expect to connect with someone, or to care about someone so much... so yeah, it took me by surprise. I already feel vulnerable in this world because I know how it feels to lose someone you love" - Gus paused, thinking painfully of Quinn - "and it looks like I could be close to losing Tomas too."

 Charlie's eyes softened.

"I'm sorry about Tomas. I know how close you are to him. And I'm sorry about Quinn too. He must have been some guy. The way you talk about him..."

"He was. The best of us. I don't want to lose you either, and that's why I freaked when you wanted to make things official. It almost felt like putting a label on it meant I'd have more to lose...but I guess I'm just as likely to lose you if I push you away."

He caught Charlie's eye and felt his cheeks redden. 

"Seeing you get beat up beside me made me realise how much I like you."

"Wow. Hear that sentence one more time?"

"You know what I mean...seeing that happen to you...all I wanted was to protect you. I wanted so badly for him to turn back to me and give me hell if it stopped you from getting hurt. I figure I could lose you today, tomorrow - in a few years even - "

"That's a cheery thought."

Gus waved Charlie's comment away. "My point is, I don't know when, or if, I'm going to lose you. But I do know that I can't lose out on the chance of having you...at least for a while. I can't lose out on spending time with the only person who managed to pick me up after I watched my best friend die before my eyes. I don't want to waste anymore time with you."