Try

Coffee house

I hadn't realized how tired I was until I was actually in my fully furnished apartment. I was silently thanking myself for opting to have everything delivered before I got here. I didn't even manage to take my shoes off before falling onto my queen sized mattress. I awoke to the sound of my alarm blaring from my phone right next to my ear. Groaning I sat up slowly and temporarily forgot where I was. Sighing I grabbed a box labeled clothes and searched for my outfit before heading to the shower. As the water cascaded down my back my thoughts drifted to the handsome stranger across the hall. Adam. I'm not sure why I was thinking about him. I had absolutely no intentions on making friends or any attachments for that matter. That's not what this was. This was the beginning of the end for me. I had thought about my decision thoroughly. Step one was already completed. Move to the city I've always wanted to. Get as far away from loved ones as possible.  The next steps were the tricky part. Stay a while and keep up appearances.... then..... end it. "Im just so tired." I whispered to myself as I shut the water off.
After getting dressed in dark jeggings and white crop, I put my favorite worn out pair of converses on. There was absolutely no food in the apartment so I grabbed my keys and headed out to search for a coffee house. I turned around after locking my door and started heading to the elevator. I couldn't help but glance towards Adam's door. Maybe I should get him a thank you coffee.... no. You can't. NO ATTACHMENTS. NO DISTRACTIONS. No one else to hurt. As I stepped into the elevator and waited for it to decend I was still having an internal dialogue with myself. How can someone who I only met last night and knew for five fucking seconds make me question everything. Fucking Adam whatever his last name is.
I entered the first coffee house I came across that also served breakfast. I don't normally eat breakfast much but I was hungry for some reason this morning. The place had very warm tones and felt really cozy. Nice. They had an indie music playlist playing softly and the aroma of fresh coffee made me smile to myself as I approached the counter to order.  After paying for my order I hear a somewhat familiar deep voice making me turn. There he was. He looked beautiful. He was sitting at a table by the window with a girl. She laughed at something he said and I couldn't help but feel a tinge in my stomach that I can only assume was jealousy. Jealous of the life that I could never have... smiles and laughter on a Sunday morning in a coffee shop with a handsome, kind man. I'm pulled from my thoughts when the barista calls my name. I smile sweetly at the young girl and take my coffee and bagel. I make a beeline for the door hoping I don't get noticed. I choose to act as if I didn't hear Adam call my name as I exit the shop and start back to the apartment. I think I'm in the clear when I hear him behind me. Shit. I slowly turn to see Adam jogging towards me. He stops in front of me and smiles. "Hey neighbor! I was calling you..." he says gesturing to the coffee shop behind him. "Oh! I'm sorry I didn't hear you." I smile sheepishly. "So... how are you settling in?" He asks shoving his hands into his pockets. Adorable. "It's going good." I lie. I haven't unpacked a thing. "That's great." He smiles. "Hey I was wondering if maybe.." he's suddenly cut off by the girl from the coffee shop. We turn to see her standing by the door. Adam turns back to me about to speak but I don't give him the opportunity. "I'm sorry I'll let you get back to your girlfriend." I say starting to walk backwards. "It was great seeing you." I smile walking away. It takes everything in me not to turn back to take one more glance at him.
It's been about a week since I moved to New York and I haven't accomplished anything on my bucket list. I managed to find a job at a local bookstore close to where I live so that's been taking up most of my time. I decided in the past week to give life one more shot. Who knows... maybe New York will be good for me. I haven't seen or talked to Adam since that day at the coffee shop. And I'm extremely disappointed in myself that I'm not ok with not seeing him. "Jesus Y/N get it together..... you barely know him." I whisper to myself as I try to figure out how to operate my smart tv that my brother bought me for the move. " But I COULD get to know him..." . I think to myself. I hate these internal arguments with myself. "Maybe Adam could help me figure this out...." I suggest to myself and before I know it I'm in front of his door. Like a moth to a flame. I knock softly 3 times and try not to fidget while I wait. Suddenly the door swings open to a very surprised Adam. After he takes me in for a moment he speaks. "Hey Y/N." He says lowly. His voice is sooo..... focus Y/N. "Heeeyyy... are you busy?" I ask sheepishly earning a chuckle from him. "No... I'm not busy." He smiles watching me squirm under his gaze. "So... my brother got me this expensive tv that just came in today and I just... can't figure out how to operate it and..." Adam cuts me off. "Let's take a Look." He says softly as he steps out into the hallway brushing past me and towards my apartment. His scent was....intoxicating to say the least and made my head feel light. Shit. I'm in trouble.