Light Me Up

Chapter 12 : F Word

Enzo's POV

We drove home in silence, not a single word spoken for the 9 hours. Bonnie sat in the passenger seat, and rested her head against the window. She didn't move or speak once, just sat there, staring into to darkness. As soon as we arrived, she stormed inside and went into the bedroom, slamming the door behind her. Damon and I walked in behind her. I took my coat off, hanging it up.

"You have bourbon in this hellhole right?" Damon asked

"Over there" I tell him, pointing towards it, not caring enough to argue with him or ignore him "Help yourself"

I walked into the bedroom to check on Bonnie.

"Hey, you ok?" I asked

She nodded giving a small smile

"You want me to bring you something to eat?"

"I'm fine" She said, not saying anything else as she left the room. 

I sighed, changing my clothes and freshening up before following her out. She sat on the couch rubbing her arm, which was now completely covered with scabs. I grabbed the guitar from the stand and held it out to her, trying to cheer her up. She gave a sad smile

"Not to be a cry baby but...." She held up her arms "These feel a lot worse than they look. Don't think I'll get much playing in"

"That's a shame, Luv" I commented, walking over laying down in her lap, still holding the guitar. "You're in dire need of practice"

She cupped her hands around my face, and smiled, rolling her eyes. I started to play when she covered my face with her hands, which made me laugh.

"Go ahead!" She told me

I started to play again as she took her hands off. I turned my head, looking at her in the eye. She smiled down at me, humming as I continued to play.

"You're trying to look!" She exclaimed, after a while covering my eyes with her hands again

"I'm gonna make you..." We both laughed "Go ahead!" She added 

It was nice to see Bonnie smiling again, even if it's just for a while. She nodded along to the music.

"Impressive" She commented.

After a moment she grabbed the sides of my face and leaned hers down covering it and laughing.

"No you're peaking!" She exclaimed "You're totally peaking" I smile at her. "I can see you're side-eyeing the guitar"

"Don't mind me" Damon interrupted, which wiped the smile right off Bonnie's face. She looked away, annoyed. 

"I'm just gonna go get the next name out of the jar" 

He walked outside to the storm cellar and she let out a sigh, grabbing my hand kissing it. Her hand felt rough and scabbed. I couldn't even bring myself to think about how much pain she was in. The pain I put her in. 

"Hey, what's wrong?" Bonnie questions, gently, noticing my face

"Nothing" I lie

I sit up getting off her lap and give her a fake smile and put the guitar away. She eyes me

"Is this about what Damon said?" She asks, knowing me "You know I don't blame you for this, right? Damon just wants everyone around him to be as miserable as he is, don't listen to him"

"He was right Bonnie" I tell her "I gave you those pills"

"You didn't know"

I shake my head. How could she still defend me after this. How could she still love me after this. I was supposed to be the one who never hurt her, and now that I had, knowingly or unknowingly, I couldn't live with myself.