Insecure

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Isaiah 43:2 "When you go through deep waters, I will be with you." ... trust me.

(Taehyung's POV)

Jimin has been acting really weird lately. I already know something's bothering him because of the talk we had that night, but I don't know. Right now we were sitting together like usual, listening to the pastor give his sermon. However the boy kept dazing off, it's like he's not even on earth right now. "Jimin-ah what are you staring at?" I whisper in his ear, watching as he flinches at the sudden contact. He looks at me and says, "Nothing, I'm just thinking." I narrow my eyes at him, finding his answer suspicious. I wonder what's got his mind so occupied.

Coffee hour is my favorite part of coming to church. I rush towards the dining room, as the pleasant aroma of baked goodies awaits me. "Come on Jimin!" I yell in his direction. Jimin and I usually race to see who can get to the cookie line first. We're such children, I know. Looking behind me, I see that he's still far back. I stop in my tracks and decide to wait for him to catch up. When he's closer to me, I notice something that I haven't before. Why is he limping? Is he injured? "Jimin are you good?", He gives me a puzzled look and I roll my eyes. "You're limping." I explain, and his eyes widen. "Oh, I-I just fell l-like really hard." What type of lame ass excuse is that? "If that's the case, then why are you stuttering?" I interrogate and his eyebrows furrowed. "Listen, I really don't want to talk about it. I get that you care, which I don't understand why, but it's something that I would like to keep private right now." My mouth shut at his words. He's right though, it's really not my place to interrogate him. It's just so hard to crack him, the boy is like a fucking cement wall. I want to really get to know him and figure him out. What's going on in that pretty head of his?

Stuffing my mouth with cookies, I turn to look for Jimin. Scanning the room, I spot him sitting at a table by himself. I walk over and plop down in the seat next to him. "How come you aren't eating anything? The cookies are extra good today." The boy glances up at me with sad eyes. "I don't want anything today. I'm just not hungry." My face twists up in confusion. The hell? Jimin loves coffee hour, especially the pastries. I don't even want to ask why. He probably will just be annoyed by my continuous questions. "Oh, ok." It was awkward after that.

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(Jimin's POV)

I feel bad about kind of snapping on Taehyung. He only wants to help and know what's going on with me. However, I'm just not in the mind space to even talk about any thing I've endured. I've been through so much shit my whole life, I don't know if anyone can even handle bearing all those bad memories. Standing in line, I wait patiently for my favorite cookie. "Tsk, I don't think you should even think about eating a cookie." I hear from behind me. My whole body tenses when hearing his voice. "What?". "You heard me. I don't know what you are seeing in the mirror, but clearly you need to lose some weight. Now I suggest you get the fuck out of the line. No one wants your fat ass eating all of the desserts." Yoongi sneers, his voice laced with venom. I quickly followed his order, not wanting to be next to him whatsoever. Moping, I find an empty table and sit there. I find Taehyung making his way towards the pastry line. Dang, am I really fat? How come Tae has never told me that I eat too much? Come to think of it, he's right. My cheeks are too big and my thighs are too thick. My waist is not small enough and my fingers are chubby and small. Maybe I should thank him for pointing out my flaws.

Back at home, I trudge upstairs to my bedroom. I walk into the connected bathroom, stripping my clothes off. Fully undressed, I have a glance at myself in the mirror. Stopping in front of it, I analyze my body. I can't help but scrutinize every flaw on my body. Eww look at my stomach. I do need to lose weight, especially in my cheeks. Ugh, my thighs are so big. The whole time, my thoughts were clouded with nothing but self hate and loathing. I'm so miserable. Standing there, I let the water from the shower head fall on my body. I wish Jungkook or Taehyung would've told me that I eat too much. Now look at me, I'm a pig.

A.N~ My baby Jiminie, my poor bebe. He's too precious for this. Hopefully you love this chapter. xoxo

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