deidaras bizzare adventure

Part 1: Why am i doing this?

A sunny day shone on the rocky hill of the hidden Akatsuki hideout. Deidara had just finished his previous mission with Sasori and was now relaxing on a log that Tobi had rolled in, claiming it was adding "decorations" to the place. Deidara did not see how this log made the dank cave look any more cosy. In fact, to him, it probably made it look more like a couple of homeless shinobi had decided to make it their home. There was a constant smell of dampness combined with the constant chilly breeze that made this place unbearable. Oh and that constant dripping noise! Ever since Kisame and Sasori decided to fight it out in the lair, there had been a crack in the wall that had allowed water to drip into the lair day in and out. Every few minutes, there would be a drip that would drive him crazy. It was like a hidden ticking clock that could not be stopped. It was driving Deidara insane. So there he sat, wishing pain would give him a mission but when he last asked, Pain responded in that grumpy voice: "No. There are no more missions for you Deidara. Take a day off!" At that point Deidara almost exploded. As soon as the hologram jutsu fizzled away, Deidara began ranting, pacing back and forth.
"Take a day off!" He yelled, his footsteps echoing on the stone flooring. "Who does he think I am: An old man?" He continued huffing back and forth, cheeks flaming red. "I am the youngest and most powerful Akatsuki member. Let me show off my art un !" He finished, yelling the last bit dramatically as he fell to his knees breathing deeply.  Then he screamed, headbutting the floor.
"Dammit. I just said Un again!" He yelled at the top of his lungs, continously headbutting the floor over and over again. "Why did I have to have such an annoying habbit, un." He moaned before snarling at himself  after saying it again. After a few moments of growling and hurting himself, he decided to sit up with a sigh. "That's it! I am so bored! Please let someome give me a mission!" He begged to the ceiling, leaning his head back surprisingly quite far. That was until a pop sound was heard to the left of him. He turned around to see a puff of smoke, his hopes increasing. 'Could this be pain, changing his mind?' He wondered to himself his smile widening as well as his eyes. However, his hope was shortlived as the person who stepped out of the smoke was his least favourite person: Tobi!

His mouth fell agape as he noticed the orange mask. "You have got to be kidding me?" He wished it was Itatchi playing a joke on him but the voice proved that to be a dream.
"Deidara Senpai!" Tobi screamed like an excitable child, charging over to Deidara like a rhino. Before he could even react, Deidara was swept off his feet by the abnormally strong man child.
"Please let this cave crumble and kill us both!" He groaned as Tobi began talking nonsensical whilst dancing around in a circle. Finally he ended with:
" And I needed someone for a mission and I was wishing it would be you. Yay!" Despite this huge rant, Deidara only heard the word mission and perked. Pushing the excitable mutt off of him, he asked about the mission, despite the very small logical side of his brain pleading him to not do that. However, due to that part being so small, Deidara took no notice.
"You needed me for a mission?" He interrupted the rambling man who was still jumping up and down crazily. Tobi skirted along the floor to halt himself and after a few breaths.
"We need to go to Orochimaru to see if we can have Sasuke." At that point Deidara just froze on the spot. After all he had a fear of snakes. That was why his clay snakes were so basic looking.
"Orochimaru-un." He sqeauked like a mouse, hands at his side and eyes unblinking. Tobi just giggled.
"Not Orochimaru-un silly. Orochimaru and yes we have to. Now let's get going senpai." He said dragging a half concious Deidara who was still stuck mumbling the name Orochimaru and the word snakes over and over again. By the time, Deidara had regained conciousness they were flying on the dragon on the way to tenchi bridge.
"Why am I doing this?" He groaned as the clay dragon flapped it's heavy wings.
"Because you love me Deidara Senpai!" Tobi responded as he almost slipped off the dragon before sitting down. "Plus everything will be fine." Deidara groaned though as just like all of his other missions, he knew that nothing was ever gonna be that simple.
"Oh this is definetely going to suck... un" Just like that their adventure began...