Up In Flames (BWWM)

Chapter Nine

I’ve been trying to avoid both Dan and Dave for the past few weeks but it seems like they have tracking devices on me. Even if I’m just in the grocery store to grab one thing it never fails that I’ll see one of them there.

After I told Dan about the kids going missing and that being my reason for calling on New Years he kept apologizing. I told him over and over that it was okay but he wouldn’t take that for an answer, proceeding to rock my world every which way for hours until I needed to go pick the kids up from school, after which he took us ice skating indoors.

Dave hasn’t been any better. Since our night of bliss in his car, the elevator to his downtown apartment, his kitchen, and his bedroom, he hasn’t been able to leave me alone. Every day he gets off of work and comes straight over to my place. He claims it’s to see the kids but somehow we keep ending up naked and banging each other’s brains out.

I told Nicole about my latest adventures in twin land and she just laughed and said it’s about time. She also suggested asking them for a threesome which was when I hung up in her face. I can’t explain it but I know this isn’t going to end well. As much as I want it to there just isn’t a way for there to be a happily ever after, someone is going to get hurt.

Both men have their pros and cons. With Daniel, he’s been there for me since day one. He’s never made me feel badly about myself or the decisions I make and he’s always loved me. On the bad side he’s my children’s uncle, they would be ridiculed and tormented if anyone found out about us, and we could never have children of our own. With David there’s already a ready-made family. We have our two kids and although I’ve always wanted more his vasectomy makes that nearly impossible. There’s the negative side of his past with me and the way he used to belittle me and cheat but he’s changed so much in the past couple of years. He’s not the man that he used to be and everyone can see the change I him. He’s back to the man I married and not the monster he turned into. I can see a real future with him. Side by side, we would raise our kids together in a loving two parent home, the way I was raised. Every time I start to lean towards one brother memories of the other and the good times we had flood my mind making a real decision impossible.

How I would love to keep them both to myself, for once in my life be greedy and selfish and totally unapologetic. But it’s not fair to either of them to dangle a relationship in their faces when I know I can’t fully and in good conscience commit. No matter whom I would choose I could never fully let go of the other. And what about their relationship with each other? I couldn’t stand idly by knowing that I’m the cause of their rift. In truth, I always have been. Either they were fighting because Dan didn’t like the way Dave was treating me or they were at each other’s throats because Dave didn’t like the way that Dan was looking at me. In retrospect I’m the cause of the separation between the twins because I love them both.   

They both try to put up this façade and pretend that they’re the only one but they know. They have to. Since I first met Dave I knew he would be the love of my life. My epic love to last years, cross planets, and galaxies. But I never thought I would find that same love in another, and I did the first time I ran into Dan’s arms for comfort. He was there for me when I was alone and at my lowest. He helped to mold me from ashes into the beautiful, confident phoenix I was before. I couldn’t be more grateful or have more love for him than I do.    

My heart, my love is split evenly between the two of them and I couldn’t bear to choose. In my perfect world I wouldn’t have to, I could have my cake and eat it too. But this is the real world, where you pay for your decisions. It’s been fun and games for long enough and all good things must come to an end.

“Mom, can you come over?” I ask into my phone, finally deciding on what I’m going to do, “I need you to watch the kids for a few hours.”

She agrees and we hang up, leaving me to get dressed. I send a simple text: Meet me at Delified in 1 hour and instead of waiting for a reply I start to dress to pass the time.

The weather has gotten slightly better but the bitter chill of the wind is still a major factor so I dress warmly. Pulling on a pair of black knee-high boots over dark gray wool leggings, I search my closet for a matching top. After a few minutes I come out with a black crop top sweater and shrug, deciding to wear a jacket too. I pull my hair into a high ponytail and swipe mascara across my eyes before applying a small amount of gloss.

My mom pulls up and I call the kids down to greet her.

“Mom do you have to go?” Bentley asks, his lip poking out.

“I’ll only be gone for a little while. Don’t you want to hang out with grandma? She drove all the way here to be with you guys,” I reply. Ever since New Years he’s been going through this clingy phase, not wanting me to move from out of his sight.

“Fine,” he sighs, still looking a bit sad.

“I’ll tell you what, if you two are good I’ll bring you both back a treat okay?”

That got his attention and they both nod furiously.

“Alright! High fives, hugs, and kisses,” I say, bending down to their level. We started this little tradition after the New Years fiasco. I realized I need to spend more time with them and start setting up little inside jokes and things like that, for when they get older.

After hugging them tightly I stand to hug and thank my mom for coming over on such short notice.

“No problem sweetie, have fun!”

We say our goodbyes and I hop in my car, thankful to have it back from the shop. It’s been in for the past week fixing the brake problem. Apparently the brake problem turned into a gas leak and the gas leak turned into something else and so on. Frankly I think I was hustled but it is what it is now, as long as it’s fixed.

I decide to take the main highway since the back roads I would normally take are probably still covered with ice and go up the on-ramp. Traffic surprisingly isn’t bad for it to be pretty early on a Saturday but I won’t complain.

Looking down for a split second to turn my music up I don’t see the car in front of me jam on it’s brakes. Hearing their tire’s screech I look up just in time to swerve from missing them but I end up hitting a patch of ice on the shoulder. I press down on my brakes lightly to try and gain some traction but they don’t work no matter how hard I press. As my car starts to spin, hitting cars in it’s wake like a pinball the only thing I can think about are my kids. I said I’d be back in a little while.

I feel the impact of the car hitting the medium and lift out of my seat as it flips over the top of it into oncoming traffic. Upside down and woozy I can only watch the oncoming SUV try to catch it’s brakes in time.

**********

A/N

Poor Aria!!

Keep reading the end is near!!!