Hold Me

chapter four

TW- mentions of abuse both physical mental and sexual, implication of r@p#, small dissociative episode, mood swing, violence

Also i apologize for the wait, things have been crazy, i'll try to be more regular, and for the fact that my writing isnt that good

Deku's pronouns- he/him. they/them. she/her

The ride to dad's house was silent on my part, the two adults talking in hushed whispers as I stared out the window. Kacchan was next to me, having heard we we're going to Toshi's and deciding to get a lift to the dorms on the way.

He was muttering angerly while cleaning up my hand, but I didn't seem to notice when he pulled to hard, or the words coming out of his mouth as he continued to rant on about something. I barely processed the trees passing by, and as time went, I couldn't even feel the seatbelt rubbing against my skin in a way that would normally have me screaming.

When mum asked me a question my mouth moved without my mind processing the words, but they didn't seem to notice any difference, going back to their own world before I slipped further into the comfortable buzz.

I watched from behind a screen as Kacchan started a conversation with me, the words slipping out without a second thought before the car comes to a stop. I feel him pull me out of the car, waving goodbye to the married couple before moving, tucking me under his arm.

I try to go fall further into the buzz, and it works for a second, the world going blurry once more even as my head nods along to whatever Kacchan is saying.

My eyes snap back into focus, the worlds colours and my own thoughts returning back to me for a moment when the blonde pinched the skin on the back of my wrist, only for it to all slip away again when the knowledge that my father, a man who used me as his punching bag for years, is coming here. To my home. To me.

I wasn't able to retreat as far as I did last time, able to prosses the noise of Kacchan digging in the dirt- when did we sit down?- before he's opening my palm. I flinch back at the feeling of whatever he's put on my skin but he simply forces my hand to close around it, his eyes trained on my face as it scrunches up.

The shapes all come into focus again and I'm able to look at Kacchan, curios on why he looks so worried. When my eyes focus on one freckle on his face before everything blurs again he squeezes the hand wrapped around what ever it is he pulled from the ground snapping me back into the present.

"Hey, hey nerd, look at me," sliding my eyes over to his I shake my hand out of his hold, dropping whatever it was that he gave me before reaching over to his face. I poke his cheek before cupping them, frowning a little as he raises an eyebrow and tries to move away.

"Soft." I mutter, moving so I'm on his lap and making it impossible to move away. he groans quietly when my eyes move to his hair in childlike wonder right before I'm tugging on it, burring my hands in the soft strands that he made stand up.

He lets me continue, but when my mind starts to wonder he taps my forehead, quietly speaking when I focus back on his face.

"I need you to stay focused okay? Can you do that?" scrunching up my face when he swipes his thumbs under my eyes, pulling them back wet- since when was I crying?- I nod my head, watching as he forms a small smile before I'm going back to his hair.

"Can you tell me where we are?"

I spare a quick glance around, my eyes pausing on the large mansion about 100 metres down the street.

"we're on Toshi's street?" I look back over at Kacchan as if looking for confirmation, smiling when he nods.

"Right, I got your parents to drop us off here and we're going to walk back to the university, something tells me you need some air and being inside a house you're not yet comfortable in alone with your thoughts will not help."