Lost in You

Chapter 58 - Christian

Control Christian Hall... cling to every control you have.

"I missed you, Ian..." she says softly

"Merry, you are drunk" I say, focusing on her brown eyes. I command my hands to stay on my side without touching her.

"But I miss you inside me Ian. I miss you kissed my body like you worship it" her eyes glassy. Goddamn it! My dick is so hard right now.

"Merry, I miss you too, but--"

"but you don't want me?" she asks.

"I want." I touch my forehead to her. "I want to make love to you so badly, Merry. But I promised you I will prove it to you that I love you, it's not just about the sex"

"then love me, make love to me" she says and she pulls me softly.

Before our lips touch, Merry pulls back, her face pale. Shit! I lift her to the toilet, we barely make it to the toilet she pukes all over me.

After she's done I help her to the sink. She washes her face and mouth, I take off my shirt and jeans and wipe my body using the towel in her toilet.

"God, Ian I'm sorry" she says covering her face.

"It's okay Mer. Come on" I take her hand and take her to the bed. I take the water bottle for her. "drink" this time she does it without any question. I give her Advil. I put it earlier in her purse. She eats it without question as well.

I go to the cupboard and take out her hoodie. I know she always brings a hoodie with her. I help her to wear it so she is more decent now.

"sleep, Merry"

She nods. I help her lay down on the bed. "you okay?" I pull the blanket.

She nods. "Sorry Ian, I make a mess" she covers her face with the bedcover

I chuckle "it's okay" I kiss her forehead. "sleep" I say softly to her. She nods and closes her eyes. In a few seconds her breath is getting steady. The sleep already claimed her.

I go to the toilet to clean up the mess. I take my shirt and jeans in my hand, wearing a robe from the toilet. I look at Merry for a while, like a creepy stalker. I miss her peaceful sleeping face. And I miss sleeping with her, not just by her side but with her. Make love to her, worship her. But I promise her and myself that I wouldn't do that until she believes me. I kiss her head "goodnight Merry, I love you. I love you so much, baby." She doesn't even stir. I chuckle and leave her.

***

I go back to my room and unlock the connecting door. At least I will know if something happened to her.

I sit down on the couch. Madeline is right... I should have listened to her. Merry heard Camilia's voice and misunderstood that as another woman. Damn it!

I was in my mom's cherry blossom grove to pick Camilia. She was hiding there. The men Hudson paid to find her couldn't touch her there. But there is no way she will leave there and not go anywhere.

I asked her to pack her stuff. She kept whining and whining..

"I'm not going anywhere Christian"

"You choose Cam! You stay here for the rest of your life, with Hudson waiting for you to come out. Or you want to start fresh somewhere. Leave the States, try to earn your own money, live your life. I don't have forever for you. If you are not coming with me now then I'll go. I'm not going to babysit you. Remember what you did to Madeline. She is my family now since Ethan is going to marry her soon. I do this for your dad. Once and for all. After this you walk your way, and I walk my way.