It's been a long time since I posted in this book. I have a feeling no one will read this, haha.
Since today is friendship day, I thought I'd share some of my personal thoughts because I'm a big baby today, and I was thinking about two of my old friends on here and remembering all the fun times we had. Though I think about more than just those two, I think today would be a good day to talk about them. And most of the others are gone now too, but the time we spent together is still there.
So I just thought I'd talk about it. This is more for myself since I know people don't read this book anymore, haha. This'll sort of be like a diary. ~.~
________________
Gosh, it's been so many years. I feel old just thinking about it. I was around thirteen when I first met you. You were so sweet and always tried to make sure we both had fun while talking. We had amazing ups, and terrible downs throughout our time together. But I wouldn't have had it any other way. You were like a knight in shinning armour, always there whenever I was down and just needed someone to talk too.
But now you're gone. I still can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that I'll never be able to talk to you again. Even if it could have been a lie, and you weren't who you said you were, I still cherish you. You helped me carve a path of my own life, you watched me grow and gave me care and love whenever I needed it. I used to write to you how my day was, even though I knew I'd never get a response back from you. It was my way of coping with the fact that you'd never return to me.
I still wonder if you're truly gone. Or if you just needed to escape the mask you put on. I may not have been much to you with the little amount of time we spent together, but to me, you were my first real friend.
I can hardly remember any of our conversations. But, I remember how it made me feel back then. Being able to talk to you, was the best part of my day. Something so little like a hello, was enough for me because it came from you.
It has been so many years since you've been gone. Yet I still always come running back to you, and thinking about you. I don't know why, sometimes it feels like I'm under a spell that you casted on me. I truly am a fool when it comes to you. Even if you're gone, and have been for years, I still think of you as if we just talked yesterday.
Even if you'll never read this, I miss you.
___________
(This is about a different person now.)
I remember when we first talked. You were so energetic and crazy, it was hard to believe you thought of me as a best friend. We talked every single day and always stayed up so late talking about pointless things.
We talked about our futures. At the time, I wanted to be a tattoo artist and for the first time you didn't joke about wanting to be a "stripper" or get married to an old rich guy, you told me something sentimental. You wanted to help children. You wanted to be a social worker.
You're gone too. I still can remember the day I found out.
You were someone who made my days full of fun and happiness. I wish you were still here and that we could still be best friends. You never judged me, or looked down on me. If we fought, it wouldn't even last an hour.
I used to draw pictures of you once you were gone. Even made a character about you too. You always said you wanted to be someone else, someone amazing.
But to me, you were already that. I wish I knew what would happen before. If I had just done something different something to stop you and make sure you would stay with me. I used to hate myself for not being there and helping you when you needed it the most.
But, I know it isn't your fault or mine. And I can't change the past. I know that we had so many amazing memories together. And that's how I'll always remember you. Because you were here. And you still are. You're in my heart forever.
I miss you so much. Thank you for all of the strength you gave me and the memories we shared.
_________
Though I don't have many friends now, I cherish all of the ones I have. So since it's friendship day, thank you to everyone who deals with me, haha. You're all amazing and I hope we continue to be friends for a very long time.
On a side note, friendships sometimes don't last forever. Peoples feelings may change, or they may just disappear out of your life without a word. It's going to be tough, but it's a part of life. Remember, they came into your life and changed it. In a good or bad way. But they made you who you are today. Friendships can be learning experiences. For you and that person too. Though some friendships end badly, just remember it's okay and you'll get through it. We've all been there. Having a friend who lies and deceives you any change they get, or having someone who only cares for themselves, or maybe you two just didn't agree on some type of topic. It's normal to deal with those types of people. And yes, it sucks. But if you feel like you have no one there, I'm here. Even if I don't know you, I'll listen and I'll be your friend. ^^
Anyways, that's all for now.
See you soon.
