Shallow

2

I can't believe it's already been two months since I've been out here! The school is amazing, Chloe is literally the best person ever, and my dream just feels like it's finally coming true! I was laying in my bed in the room to myself, Chloe had went out with a few of her other friends. She asked if I wanted to join, I of course said no. I started writing a poem, they always relax me. "Hey, Zoe!" Chloe announced as she barged through the door. "Hey, Chloe." I laughed. "What're you doing?" She asked eyeballing my pen and paper with a weird look. "Oh um just writing." I giggled as I placed them in my nightstand. "Okay, well um I have a SURPRISE for you!" She squealed. "A what?" I questioned. "A surprise! So start getting ready, like now! You have til 5:30 to be dressed, hair done, makeup done, and everything else you do to look like stunning." She listed as she made her way to the door. "Mind telling me why I need to get ready?" I asked. "I set you up on a blind date." She smiled. "Chloe! What?!" I yelled in shock. "Okay, bye! See you at 5:30!" She blew a kiss and closed the door behind her. I sat on the edge of my bed, "Why did she do this?" I questioned in a whiny voice to myself. I let a sigh out as I flopped backwards on my bed. What would I even wear?

I heard knocking on the door. "Who is it?" I announced. "It's Chloe, I'm coming in you you better be ready." She said as I seen the door open. She paused as she looked at me, her jaw dropped. "You okay, Chloe?" I questioned nervously. "Oh. My. Gosh. You look absolutely stunning!" She smiled, with her eyes still locked on my outfit. "Thanks." I giggled pushing my hair behind my ear. "Okay, time to get in the car. I'll give you a few details on him as we drive there." She said as she grabbed my wrist and pulled me out the door.

"So, what should I know about him?" I asked. "Actually, more importantly, why did you choose me?" I questioned immediately after my first question. "Look, he's one of my friend's brother and he's so chill and lay back. I think you guys would have a great spark." She smiled. "Does he have any similar interests as me?" I asked. "Guess you'll have to wait til you get there!" She smiled devilishly. I just rolled my eyes smiling as I sat up straight in the passenger seat. I had butterflies to the max! I've never been on any sort of date with a guy since I was in the 9th grade! I've never really had any sort of luck with guys because of my size. I'm on the chubby side of the scale and I'd always tried to change it, but then I just loose motivation. But none of that should matter, first impressions are everything. Maybe he'll look past my stomach and see me for me. Maybe he could be the one.

"Okay, sit at table 6." Chloe instructed me. "Is he already there?" I asked. "No, he's about 2 minutes away though, so you better get in there." She smiled. "Okay." I smiled back, reaching for the door handle. "Hey, Zoe." Chloe called me. "Yeah?" I asked. "Good luck, I hope you have an amazing date! He's seriously so funny and sweet." She smiled cheek to cheek. "I will definitely try, thank you. I'll call you when I'm ready." I got out of the car. "Okay, see you soon! Remember, be yourself! You're gorgeous from the inside out!" She continued smiling. "Thank you." I smiled back as I closed the car door. I straighted out my romper as I made my way inside of the restaurant. Table 6. I looked around until I seen it. I sat down with my back towards the entrance door, "Everything will be okay, Zoey. Just be yourself, like Chloe said." I whisper to myself, trying to have a mini pep talk. "Hey! You must be my- Woah." The guy's voice came to a pause as he seen me from the front. My heart stopped beating. "Um i-is everything okay?" I asked a bit shaky. "You don't happen to be here for a blind date, are you?" He asked with a look as if he just threw up. "Um yeah, I am actually." I tried smiling. He face palmed, "Perfect." He flopped in the seat in front of me. I bit my lip nervously. Not only did I think he was absolutely cute, I was also nervous about the reaction he just gave off. Am I really that bad physically? "Um hi, my name is Zoey." I fake smiled as I stuck my hand out. He looked down at my hand then looked back at me, I then pulled my hand away. "So what's your name?" I asked. He sighed, "Zach." "Oh, we both start with Z! How funny." I giggled. "Ha ha ha." He mocked sarcastically. I immediately stopped laughing and bit my lip nervously again. A waitress then walks up to us, "Hey! Can I start you off with some drinks?" She asked. Zach eyes lit up and he smiled cheek to cheek when he seen the waiter. "Oh yeah! Can I get a coke please?" He smiled staring into her eyes. "Of course." She smiled back. "And for you?" She asked me. "Um just a sweet tea with lemon slices, please?" I said, clearly nervous. "Of course!" She gave me a smile. "Well, I'll be right back with your guys' drinks." She smiled as she walked away. Zach kept his eyes pealed on her as she walked away. I mean I can't blame him, she was beautiful! She has blonde hair, blue eyes, an amazing smile, and most importantly a tiny waist. I just looked down at the menu, trying to play it off like I wasn't getting my feelings hurt a bit. It's like, I was sad but angry at the same time. "Wow, that's the first time I seen you smile since you walked in." I said still keeping my eyes on the menu. "Guess I didn't have a reason to smile, because trust me, you weren't anything I was expecting at all." He had that throw up face again. "Oh." I simply said softly, as I was fighting back my tears. "So like, do you put lemon in your drink to try and burn up fat?" He asked. My eyes went wide as my jaw slightly dropped at his question. Is he being serious right now? "Because you know lemon does that." He stated. I took a deep breath, "I'm aware it does. And to answer your question, no. I don't do it for the burning of fat. I do it because it reminds me of something my father and I used to do when I was a little girl." I spoke on the verge of crying and also going off on him. "Hm, well you should definitely look into that though." He said in a calm voice, as if he had no regret or sympathy for what just came out of his mouth. Right when I was about the speak, the waitress came back, "Here's your guy's drinks." She smiled as she placed them down. "Thank you!" He smiled showing off his white teeth, I wouldn't say perfect because a couple of his teeth were cricked. But I'm not the type to call people out on their flaws or judge them on it. "Yeah, thanks." I forced a smile onto my face. "Well can I take your orders now?" She asked. "Oh you can take it all." He smirked at her. She smiled just giggled at his comment. "Well, what'll it be for you?" She asked me. "Um may I please have the chicken salad?" "Of course." She smiled. "Woah woah woah woah, salad?" He questioned. I just stared at him like a deer in head lights as I nodded my head. "Oh c'mon now! You know damn well a girl like you ain't settling for no salad, go on and look for the big plates! I know you want to, order anything you want. You're paying for your own food anyways." He stated coldly. I just froze, I had no idea what to say or do next. My body went cold, I was ran speechless, and my mind was blank. I felt so helpless, and so worthless. The waitress did not have my back either, nor did she even look my direction. "So anyways, back to you baby." Zach smiled as he turned to the waitress. "Um I'm flattered, but isn't she your date?" She asked, still not even looking at me. "Date? What? Baby, you're crazy! Who would ever wanna go on a date with someone like her? I mean just look at her! I be she wears a size 16 jeans and an extra large shirt! Maybe a large on a good day, is she's lucky. But she's just my cousin, nothing more and I wish it were less." He laughed, she also giggled. "Well okay, as long as you're free we can do something." She smiled. They were talking, as if I were invisible! Back and forth they smiled and flirted. I just got up and made my way to the exit door. "Hey um Noey!" I heard Zach call out. I stopped and turned looking at him. "It's Zoey." I corrected him. "Whatever. But for what it's worth, if you dropped like 70 pounds you might actually be pretty. Oh yeah, and work on getting a bigger ass too." He winked. My jaw dropped, I felt so sick and disgusting. I ran out of the restaurant as fast as I could. I couldn't spend another second in there. I pulled my phone out to call Chloe, but I quickly put it back in my pocket. I wasn't in the mood to talk about what had just happened nor did I want to talk at all. So I just kept walking, getting lost in the streets of New York City.

I guess I didn't realize how long I was walking, because now it was dark. I found a bench underneath a tree and I sat there. I started thinking about what had happened again and I started crying. I cried because of what he said, I cried because nobody stood up for me, I cried because he ran me speechless, I cried because I couldn't even defend myself. It's like I was a little girl all over again. Years and mascara ran down my face. I felt my phone buzz, the Dolan Twins posted a new YouTube video. It's been a while since I had a chance to watch these goofs. I dried my eyes as I watched the video. They're the only people who could make me happy when I'm sad without them even knowing. A smile slowly grew on my face.

Finally I got back to the dorm, told Chloe everything and I had to restrain her from going to his house and killing him. But it was now 1 am and Chloe was fast asleep already, she definitely made sure I was okay before she fell asleep. She bought me dinner, tucked me in, and even played a couple rounds of tic tac toe with me just to see me smile. But I couldn't sleep, my mind kept replaying every word he told me. I eventually ate 4 of the gummy melatonins I bought for my restless nights I tend to get. I laid there, staring at the ceiling until the gummies kicked in and I was finally sound asleep.