North America Gang

Surprise Camping Trip

Mexico and America were chilling on their couch five feet apart because they weren't gay... in theory.

"Hey Ame, What would you do if one day you woke up, and you were hot?" Mexico asked.

"I dunno, I would probably open a window or something," America replied. Mexico stared at him in disappointment.

"That's not what I meant, pendejo," Mexico said. Suddenly, Canada walked through the front door.

"I'm back guys!" Canada exclaimed.

"Sh*t, you left?" America exclaimed, turning to face his brother.

"I'm glad you guys missed me so much," Canada said sarcastically. He was holding a bunch of bags. Mexico walked up to Canada.

"You need help?" Mexico asked.

"Yep, there's more stuff in the car," Canada said.

America also got up to help unload the car. Canada got a bunch of stuff, But the trio were thankfully very stronk so they were able to carry multiple bags at a time. America peeked into one of the bags he was holding to see a lighter, lighter fuel and matches among other things.

"Damn, we committing arson?" America asked. Canada just laughed as he took out the last few bags from the car. Once they got all the stuff inside they placed the stuff on the dining table.

"So Nada, what's all this for?" Mexico asked. Canada smiled.

"Well, I noticed that you guys have been sitting around and doing nothing for the past few days. So I thought it might be fun if we go camping!" Canada exclaimed. Mexico smiled.

"That does sound like fun!" Mexico exclaimed. America nodded.

"To be honest, I can't remember the last time I went camping," America said, "Where are we gonna go?".

"I'm not telling. It'll add to the adventure," Canada said, smiling like a little kid.

"Aw c'mon! You know me and Mex aren't patient when it comes to surprises!" America exclaimed.

"Oh you'll be fine. Anyway, we'll be leaving two days from now and will be staying there for three nights," Canada said. America smiled.

"Perfect, just some wholesome fun. What could possibly go wrong?"

A couple days later, it was time for the trio to leave. They each packed one bag with their clothes and other necessities and loaded up their car with all of the camping gear that Canada had bought.

"How far away is this place?" America asked.

"It's about a two hour drive from here, so bring something to do. And go to the bathroom because we might not have anywhere to stop!" Canada exclaimed.

Once they were all ready, they hopped in the car and hit the road. Canada was in the drivers seat listening to podcasts and ignoring America and Mexico, who were in the backseats.

"Hey Mex, Mex, Mexico, Mex," America said.

"What do you want?" Mexico groaned.

"Did you know that bananas are curved because they grow towards the sun?" America exclaimed.

"No? Why would I need to know that?" Mexico asked.

"Did you know that billy goats pee on themselves to smell more attractive to females?" America said.

"So is that why you smell like piss?" Mexico asked.

">:O,"

"Did- did you just say >:O out loud!?"

"Did you know that armadillo shells are bulletproof?"

"Source?!"

"Dude trust me,"

"That's not a source!"

"Do you not trust me?! >:O,"

"HOW DO YOU DO THAT?"

"Do what?!"

"Say >:O out loud?!"

"You just did it!"

"Oh sh*t I did!"

"Can you two quiet down back there? It's hard to ignore you guys when you're yelling," Canada exclaimed.

"You're not my dad!" America shouted.

"America, I'm the one driving. Your life is literally in my hands. I could ram right into the car in front of us and take both of you down," Canada said, devoid of all human emotions. Mexico and America were silent for the rest of the car ride.

After one and a half hours they finally made it to a small forest in the middle of a valley.

"We made it, now let's get our spot," Canada said.

The trio set up camp, and then started taking in their surroundings. They were set up near a creek, and surrounded by trees.

"Ok! I'm gonna go out to get some firewood. You two stay here!" Canada exclaimed.

"Ok, here, take this," America said, handing Canada a walkie-talkie. While Canada was gone, America was making some food on their portable grill while talking to Canada over the walkie-talkie.

A: you doing good?

C: Yep! I think I'll have enough to come back soon!

A: awesome, the food is almost ready too

C: Huh... is that a dog? I think I see a dog in the distance...

A: yey! Big fluffy baby friend!

C: Huh.... it looks really big.... Oh sh*t... Oh SH*T!

A: Canada...?

C: NOT A DOG! NOT A DOG! BEAR! ABORT ABORT ABORT ABORT!

A: uh oh

C: I'm ok... I don't think it saw me

A: hurry back to the camp

C: yeah that's what I'm doing.

Canada put his walkie-talkie down and sighed.

"Well... I hope that's the only crisis during this trip...,"

He should not have said that
He should not have said that