SHE'S HERE (jenlisa adaptation)

Distant,Distance

She roused to the aromatic scent that invaded her nose. Blinking for a few moments to clear the grogginess in her eyes, she took a slow steady glance around the unfamiliar room wondering where she was. It took another few seconds for her to remember that she had currently moved out and was staying in the guest room of Lisa's apartment.

She then remembered what had actually happened. She had another relapse due to the crying and reminisced she had previously. She also remembered vaguely Lisa calling out her name before everything went black. Things happened after that, she could not recall.

Taking a deep breath to clear her mind, she ran a hand through her hair pushing it back and allowing to it fall back to its original place. Once again, the familiar aromatic scent invaded her sense and her stomach growled softly. Embarrassed, even though there was no one except her in the room, she placed a hand on top of her tummy and all of a sudden, heaviness weigh on her heart when she was reminded of the tiny being that is resided in her body.

It's two months old, going on to three months soon in her tummy. She found out when she had missed her period of two months. For the first month, she thought that it was because of all the stress that she had from work that made her missed it, but then, the constant cravings, mood-swings and her second missing period got her worried and fretting. She had her suspicion and it was hard to believe at first. However, the tiny thought of have a family with Kai got her excited and it gave her the courage to check it up. But, never did she think that everything will end up like this.

Never did she think that she will end up back to square one.

Back to Lisa.

Just like how she ran away from home five years ago, because of her cheating dad that made her mum left with her younger sister and her, choosing to leave and stay in the dormitory of her college.

Why?

Why does it always have to end up with Lisa by her side at her weakest point of time?

Jennie took a deep breath and lifted her head high up, facing the ceiling to stop anymore tears from rolling down her already wet cheeks.

"I know I probably shouldn't say this, but you shouldn't cry anymore."

A small voice interrupted her and Jennie snapped her head down to look at the once love of her life. She wiped the tears on her cheeks hastily before adverting her gaze to anywhere but Lisa.

A small sigh was heard and she knew Lisa was coming closer to her, the fragrance aroma was stronger too and before she knew, she felt a hand on her forehead. Startled, she flinched and moved away from the touch before moving further back in the bed.

It hurts.

For Jennie to move away like this.

It hurts.

To have Lisa touched her once again like this.

Both of them stayed in their position for a few quiet seconds until Lisa broke it.

"I made some mushroom cream soup for you. I – I'm not sure if your taste or preference had change these past few years... I, I can only made this for you based on what I know about you."

Lisa's words hurt Jennie badly. It sounded so broken and helpless and it made Jennie wondered why. Lisa was the one that hurt her in the first place. What gives Lisa the rights to sound so victimized in front of her? What gives Lisa the rights to affect her so much with such tiny actions? What gives Lisa the rights to tug on her heartstrings, making her stomach filled with butterflies after all these years?

What gives Lisa the rights to steal her heart immediately when they meet once again?

What gives?

Jennie doesn't know and neither does she wants to know.

All she knew was that she had to fight. Fight with all her might to keep her heart within herself, fight with everything she has to stop Lisa from taking her heart once again.

Lisa swallowed the lump in her throat when she saw Jennie sitting there silently, not giving her any responses at all.

"Nini... please eat. You're too weak and you will need it badly. Please? I – I will leave the room okay? Just eat, finish everything and sleep hmm? Call me if you need anything okay? I – I know you don't really want to see me now but – but this shouldn't be your concern right now. You should take care of yourself more. You should keep your body in a good condition."

Lisa's words trailed off in the end and she doesn't know what comes over her. Whether it's the habit, familiarity or the tremendous missing she had for the girl, she took a few steps forward and leaned down, planting a kiss on the crown of Jennie's head, like how she would always do after Jennie was fine from her relapse.

"Please?"

She muttered out against the light brown hair and nuzzled her nose softly before backing away and left the room.

The tears that surged up from the kiss finally spilled over her eyes when Lisa closed the door.

She was supposed to fight.

But the kiss gave her the biggest comfort that she badly needed during these few days.

And she couldn't deny that she missed it badly.

She missed Lisa badly.

Jennie shook her head hardly; making a few drops of her tears flew from her eyes.

She is going to fight. She's not going to be a stupid fool once again.

She IS going to fight.

What she doesn't know was that she had already lost the moment she allowed Lisa to be in her sight of view.

-

The sound of loud belching welcomed her the minute she entered her apartment. Without hesitation, Lisa immediately shut her door closed and hurried to her dining table, which was only a few steps in front of her kitchen that was beside the door, and placed the breakfast that she bought on it. Turning around, she walked straight down the hallway and made a left turn, where the restroom was and saw Jennie squatting beside the toilet bowl, hugging it, as she tried to eject whatever that was making her stomach uncomfortable.

Morning sickness, Lisa identified it and wondered how long has Jennie being going through it. Alone.

Jennie was crying, sobbing and vomiting all at once. It was uncomfortable. The queasy feeling that made her felt like her stomach was turning inside out. The tears came out uncontrollably and the feeling of sick made Jennie feels down and she couldn't help but cry.

Lisa walked into the restroom and slowly crouched down beside Jennie, bunching her long soft locks to a side with a hand and petted her back gently with another. She felt Jennie tensed under her touches but the vomiting distracted her and Jennie couldn't do anything but had Lisa helped her. However, a second later, she was conscious of her surroundings. Lisa was basically breathing in the vile stench of her vomit and feeling self – conscious about it, she started to push Lisa out of the restroom, signaling for her to get out.

Lisa, however, remained unmoved. A rush of ejected liquid surged through her throat and Jennie stopped her pushing as she vomited once again. As she allowed the sour and rough liquid out of her mouth, she sensed Lisa standing up and for a second, felt relief that Lisa was leaving.

She was wrong.

Lisa crouched back down soon and what took her aback was that Lisa was cleaning her face with a towel, wiping away her tears and mucus that was flowing out due to the vomiting.

"Are you feeling better hmm? Do you still feel like vomiting?"

Lisa's smooth, rich voice entered her ears and it seemed that it made her felt better. The queasiness was still there, but she no longer felt the urge to vomit. Slowly, Jennie shook her head and released the hold she had on the toilet bowl. Lisa stood up again and turned on the faucet, washing the towel she had in hand before wringing it dry and brought it back to Jennie's face again. She placed her hand gently on the side of Jennie's face, turning it to face her and proceeded to wiped Jennie's mouth and chin cleaned. After which, she stood up again and flushed the toilet bowl, before turning back to the sink and turned on the faucet again. Jennie was still on the ground, feeling too weak to stand up after 15 minutes of vomiting and as if Lisa could see through her, she bend down and slipped an arm around Jennie's waist before pulling her up gently.

"Lean on me."

She instructed gently and brought her to the sink, passing a cup of tap water.

"Rinse it, you will feel better."

Lisa spoke again and Jennie took it into her hand, rinsing her mouth and spit it out for a few times. The raw and rough taste has lessened and she felt so much better. Placing the cup back on the counter, Lisa surprised her once again by wiping her lips with the towel and with a small smile, Lisa helped her out of the rest room to the dining table.

"Here, I had bought porridge for your breakfast."

Jennie watched as Lisa rustled with the plastic bags on the table before taking out a container of porridge and opened the lid for her before placing it in front of her. She then went into the kitchen and came out with a spoon and a glass of water before placing it in front of Jennie.

"Dig in."

Lisa urged Jennie when she saw Jennie staring at the food blankly. Upon hearing Lisa's voice, Jennie snapped out of her thoughts and straightened her body slowly. The aroma of food finally drew her attention as the previous vomiting had emptied her stomach and she was feeling a little hungry. She reached for the glass of warm water and took a few sips, wetting her dried throat from the vomiting before picking up the metal spoon. She managed to scoop a spoon of porridge but paused when she realized something.

Lisa raised an eyebrow when she saw Jennie froze with the spoon raised up halfway. Thinking that the smell of the porridge might made Jennie repulsed and feel like vomiting once again, she called out to her with concern.

"Nini?"

"How... much is this?"

"W – what?"

Jennie blinked a few times before daring herself to lift her head up and look at Lisa.

"How much is the porridge?"

"It's nothing, just eat."

Lisa felt a little tad of disappointment and resentment. Do they have to land in this situation? Do they have to be back to stranger? Why? They were once so close, too close in fact. So why does Jennie made it seemed like they are strangers right now. Even, even if Jennie resent her for what she had done, can't they be friends?

"But –

"Just eat, Nini. It's nothing. Just finished everything up and rest."

Lisa snapped, but her voice was softer than her normal angry voice. She just couldn't, couldn't bring herself to shout at Jennie. Taking a deep breath, Lisa turned around and picked up her keys before heading towards the door.

"I have to pay you Lisa. You can't let me owe you."

Lisa halted in her steps and clenched her jaws tight at Jennie's words.

"You don't owe me anything. And if you are talking about paying, I can't pay you enough even with my whole life."

Lisa spoke behind gritted teeth and opened the door.

"Nini? Just, eat. Sleep and rest, I will be down at the garage if you need me."

With that, Lisa stepped out of the apartment and closed the door. Jennie gripped the spoon handle tighter before heaving a sigh and looked away from the door.

"You don't owe me and neither need you repay me... Lili."

Jennie whispered out to no one in particular.

-

The home phone rang loudly and it startled Jennie, making her dropped her pencil that she was using to sketch her latest design for the upcoming project. With a frown, she slowly bent down to pick up the pencil while contemplating to answer the call.

It was, after all, Lisa's house.

But when the ringing doesn't stop for a long time, Jennie decided that she should pick it up. Placing her stuffs on the table, she hurriedly went out of her room and made a quick glance to locate the phone. Finding it situated beside the 42" flat screen television in the living room, she made her way towards it and answered it.

"Hello?"

"God, you finally picked up the phone? You almost made me rushed up to check up on you if you answer it another second late. I thought you had another relapses again."

The worried voice traveled in her ears fast and without pause.

"Lisa?"

"Yeah, it's me. Are you alright?"

"Yes, I am."

"Good... that's good."

Silence befalls on them and Jennie looked around the living room awkwardly while listening to the silence on the other end.

"Oh. Yeah, erm... I called. Yeah. I forgot."

Lisa spoke up in the silence and it made a smile appeared on Jennie's face. Lisa is still as weird as before.

"Are, are you hungry?"

Jennie took a glance at the clock that was on the wall and realized it was already 2.15pm. And immediately, hunger pangs settled in. She was too engrossed in her design sketching since it was such a rare occurrence for her inspiration to keep flowing in that she didn't realized that she had spent the whole few hours, after her breakfast, sketching.

"A little."

She replied softly and wondered why Lisa would care? She can easily settle by her own.

"Are you repulsed by any food? Like those with fishy smell or I don't know, food that made you feels nauseous for the past few days or months?"

Jennie frowned. Lisa's not making any sense. Didn't she know that she is allergic to Shrimp and melon – related things and salmon fish? Maybe Lisa has forgotten. Who is she trying to convince? Why will Lisa remembered things about her? It's been three years.

"No? Not that I know of. Except for shrimp and - "

"Other than things you are allergic to. I am aware of that. Do you have?"

Lisa's straightforwardness stunned her. She remembers.

"No. I don't."

"Okay then. Do you still feel nauseous?"

"No."

"Well, if you do, there's a packet of preservatives plums on the kitchen counter in a small white plastic bag. I bought it for you this morning but I've forgot to inform you. It's good for nauseous."

"O – okay. Thanks."

"Mhmm. Keep it with you yeah. In your room or yeah, just within your reach. I – I need to go now. Call me or the garage if you need anything okay? It's on the speed dial of the house phone."

"Okay."

Silence befalls once again and as usual, Lisa was the one to break it.

"B – bye."

"Bye."

Jennie replied softly and a soft click sounded before the end tone sounded in her ears. What was this? Why does Jennie felt something so close to home, to her heart despite this phone call was awkward and... she doesn't know? It feels so comfortable and nice at the same time.

It felt like talking to Lisa on the phone like this is so normal, like they are so used to it despite the awkwardness.

Undeniably, Jennie likes it.

A lot.

Even though it feels like they were so near, yet so apart.

-

Twenty minutes later, a knock on her room door distracted her from her work.

"Nini?"

Lisa's voice sounded behind the closed door and Jennie stood up only to feel her world spinning. Stumbling a little, she held onto the table top to stable herself with her eyes closed.

"Nini?"

Lisa called out once again but Jennie was feeling to afloat to answer her.

"Nini? I – I'm coming in okay?"

Finally, her world has stop spinning and she looked up slowly, only to see Lisa's head peeking from the crack of the door.

"Are you alright?"

She nodded, feeling weak all of a sudden. Slowly, she straightened up her body from the table top and walked over to the door where Lisa had held the door wide opened for her.

"You look weak and pale. Are you sure you're alright?"

"I am."

"But - "

"I guess I'm just hungry."

Jennie cut her off softly while keeping her eyes on the ground as she walked to the dining table with Lisa following after. The frown and concern on Lisa's face is too much for her. It felt like three year back, where she had misunderstood Lisa's expressions of which the younger girl might have felt something for her. It turned out to be a misunderstanding that Lisa did not. That Lisa actually has someone she loves and Jennie had only made a fool out of herself. She doesn't want to be a fool once again.

"Didn't you get something to eat first? You're not taking care of yourself now only, do you know that?"

Jennie froze in her seat.

What does Lisa means?

"You should have taken something. You can starve but not the baby in your stomach."

Jennie's eyes widened when she heard Lisa's words.

How did she know?

"How did you - "

She stared at Lisa who returned her an unreadable look. Lisa's eyes... seemed to be filled with hurt, disappointment and guiltiness.

Hurt, disappointment and guiltiness? Why?

"I took your pulse."

Lisa whispered out softly before busying herself with the food, taking it out from the bags as she avoided Jennie's intense stare.

Right. Pulse. Lisa always do that after she had a relapse.

Jennie looked away from Lisa soon and stared at the box of food that was placed in front of her instead.

She had just picked up her chopstick when Lisa's cautious tone halted her action.

"Are... you sure t – that you... want to keep the child?"

"W- what?!"

Lisa's question startled her greatly. But what comes after affected Jennie the most and she almost couldn't believe her ears.

"You shouldn't keep the child."

Jennie blinked in shock, trying to digest what Lisa had said. It was only until Lisa had looked at her in the eyes did she snap back from her state of shock.

"Do you have any idea what the hell are you talking about?"

Jennie hissed. Dangerously and hurtfully.

Lisa kept mum, choosing to look away from Jennie.

The scene reminded of how Kai was. It felt like she was back to two nights ago.

Jennie slammed the table and stood up, raging with tears pooling in her eyes.

"How could you!? You have no rights to ask me to take this child away. You have no rights to express any fucking ideas you had about my baby. It's mine! It's my baby! You are nobody Lalisa Manoban. NOBODY! You hear me?!"

Lisa stood up. Her voice wasn't as loud as Jennie but it was firm.

"You can't keep the child Nini. You can't."

"And why can't I?! I can't believe it. You are a doctor too! How can you ask me to abort a child? How can you ask me to kill a life away?! How could you be so heartless like that freaking bastard?!"

Jennie shouted out loud, her tears streaming down her cheeks like a broken tap. Her fists were clenched and shaking with rage.

"Nini - "

"Stop! Stop it! I don't want to hear anymore! I don't want to hear anymore!"

Jennie pushed all the food on the table to the ground and cried loudly, her hands covering her ears and fell to the ground, feeling pain, hurt and angry. What wrong has she made? What mistake has her child did that the right of him living is abolished?


"Nini! Nini!"

She felt hands grabbing her, before she was pulled into an embrace. She heard Lisa's voice over her loud bawling and she tried to struggle her way out of Lisa's embrace but the latter was stronger.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Lisa apologized furiously and a few moments later, Jennie started to relax in her hold. The bawling has decreased and was replaced by soft crying.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Nini."

"I w-want th – the ba-by, Li- Lisa. I – I want – my baby..."

Jennie said in between sobs and Lisa felt her heart clenched tightly at it. She lifted her head and stared at the ceiling, trying to stop her tears from falling before hugging Jennie tighter.

"I know. But you can't Nini. Your heart condition... your heart may not be able to take it."

Lisa whispered softly to Jennie, hoping the girl will understand where she is coming from. She would rather be a heartless person than to lose Jennie forever.

"But you – you are a d- doctor. Y – you can hel – help me right?"

Lisa swallowed her spit before sliding her hands to cup Jennie's face and lifted it to face her.

"I – I'm no longer a doctor, Nini. I'm a car mechanic now. I - "

Lisa trailed off, not knowing how to continue anymore. The truth is that she can help Jennie. But she doesn't want to risk it. She doesn't want to lose Jennie in her hands. She had lost one of a patient's lives due to her over-confidence and right now, she doesn't have the confidence anymore.

Despite being the genius that skipped two years of medical school life and had her started her doctor career earlier than anyone and made it to the most popular cardiology surgeon within a year of her starting career, she had lost all of her confidence due to that one fateful accident.

She could still remember the scene vividly. How she was confident of helping this patient to recover, how much hope she had instilled in his family only to crush it badly with her own hands. She could still remember how the family members had berated her, scolding her with nasty words and calling her a murderer, an arrogance doctor thought that her smartness could take over the whole world.

Lisa was never once that.

She knew it clearly.

But the failure of this incident had defeated her badly.

And so, she chose to leave. She doesn't have the face or the courage to operate anymore. She was disgusted by herself.

"Please Lisa. I want the child... I want the child."

Jennie's voice brought her back to the present and the fragility in Jennie's eyes made Lisa crumbled.

"Okay."

She heard herself whispered.

"But under one condition."

Lisa said and Jennie looked at her earnestly.

"If – if one day, the child is giving you any difficulties, I mean ANY, and endangered your life... I – you, the child is not going to be save. You hear me? I am only going to save you."

Jennie gaped at Lisa's condition and was going to refuse but she agreed in the end. She just has to make sure nothing will happen to both of them. Nothing will happen to the child and her. Even if it does, she's the mother. She can decide who to save later on.

"Okay."

"Okay."

Lisa whispered back and wiped Jennie's tears away from her cheeks. The lunch was ruined and Jennie was way too tired. The hungriness and crying has taken a toll on her body. Lisa had no choice but to help Jennie back in bed and made a glass of warm milk for the younger girl.

She watched as the younger girl slept soundly in her bed and heaved a sigh softly. She then buried her face into her palms before reaching up to tug on her hair.

She hoped she doesn't make the wrong choice. She hoped that she wouldn't regret on helping Jennie.

She hoped that she will never lose Jennie.

She hoped that if the worst has happened, Jennie will understand her decision. Because this is the nearest she could have Jennie, but yet it seemed so far away.

Taking a deep breath, Lisa looked up and glanced at the beautiful, peaceful sleeping face.

Exhaling, Lisa bent over and planted a soft kiss on Jennie's forehead before muttering softly against it.

"I can't lose you anymore, Nini. I hope you will understand it should the day comes."

With that, she stood up and left the room.

Hoping.

And praying.

That the day will never comes.

Note: WHAT HAPPENED ACTUALLY???!!  enjoy :)