The Fuck Up

xi.

We were lying in bed together. Not sleeping; just lying there. My back was facing him and I was staring at the wall blankly. He wasn’t touching me, and I wasn’t touching him, but that didn’t matter because all I needed was for him not to leave.

We were supposed to long have fucking left, but I didn’t have the energy to do anything but lie down. I felt like if I tried to pass that room again I would end up dying this time.

There was a knock on the room door and Harley started to get up to answer it but I’d spun around and latched onto him so fast we both were surprised.

I was shaking again and, fuck, why was I so weak?

“Reed, I’m not going anywhere,” he soothed, his hand rubbing my back. “Just let me see what your family wants.”

He waited a few moments before carefully prying my arms from around him. He swept a kiss on my forehead, which somehow helped stopped the shaking, before going to talk to whoever the hell took him away from me.

It was my mother and my sister apparently, and they wanted to talk to me, but I didn’t want to. No way. No fucking way. They’d want to talk about what happened and I didn’t want to talk about what happened because it wasn’t supposed to fucking happen in the first place.

I knew Harley would let them in because that’s just who he was, and I didn’t want to fucking do what I was about to do but I had to. “Harley,” I croaked quietly from under the covers. I didn’t say anything else, but I didn’t have to. I just put aside my pride to basically beg the shit not to let them in.

“Sorry,” I heard him say reluctantly to them. “I think it’s better to just let him rest.”

Thank fucking God.

They left; not quietly, of course, because they could be just as fucking annoying as Harley, but they left all the same. I waited for Harley to come back into the bed but he didn’t, causing me to look up. When I peeked out of the sheet, I found him leaning against the—now closed—door, watching me intently. I made a face. The fuck was he doing?

I opened my mouth to tell him to come over here, but then I realized that would mean I was willingly encouraging this…whatever it was, between us, and I wasn’t going to fucking do that.

I glared at him, trying to convey with my eyes that he should fucking get over here, but he just kept staring at me. His lips twitched and I knew he knew what I goddamn wanted, but he wanted me to say it out loud. Fuck no.

I gritted my teeth in annoyance. Why did he have to be so fucking difficult? Why couldn’t he just come over here?

I threw the sheet off in aggravation and got out of the bed, stomping over to him. I grabbed his shirt in both my fists and tugged hard. His upper body moved forward and he yelped, but he planted his feet firmly and refused to budge.

“You’re fucking annoying,” I growled and he smirked. “Why won’t you just fucking—”

“Kiss me and I’ll lie with you.”

I blanched, my mouth gaping, before I wrinkled my nose in disgust. “Hell no.”

“Then I guess you’re going to have to lie in that bed by yourself.”

“Fuck you.”

That only made him smile wider. The shit was enjoying this.

If he thought I would give in he had another damn thing coming.

Why didn’t I just lie down without him? I didn’t fucking need him.

But the thought of being in that bed without him didn’t feel good and I fucking hated it. I hated him.