The S.O.L.O.ists

Chapter 38

Annica's Point of View

Yesterday afternoon. 

That kiss. 

A regret.

"Why did I do that?" I mutter into my pillow as the small minutes that I couldn't fall asleep for starts turning into hours.  I've been lying in bed for virtually 4 hours without a single wink of slumber. 

These feelings that somehow pop here and there for Kenton . . .

I don't understand what they are and why they suddenly came upon me now but I know that they're something dangerous and I need to keep away from them.  The pieces are slowly putting themselves together but just barely. 

I've heard about situations like these and all I've seen them as are distractions.  The girl gets pregnant, the guy leaves, or they're addicted to each other blah blah blah.  Though I'm not saying that Kenton is a distraction for the road ahead – or am I?  I can't tell.

I readjust my lying position for the 20th time and I feel something scuff at my shoulder.  What the hey?  I prop up myself up on my left elbow and grab the sharp object from inside my pillow case.  It's super thin in my grasp and immediately I know that it's a piece of paper. 

What?  How did this get here?  Why have I never noticed it?

I slowly unfold it, becoming unsure what this might lead to with every flattening of a sharp crease. 

And when I complete the monotonous task of opening it up, 3 short lines are revealed in the dead centre of the paper.  It's done in a dark midnight blue, ball point pen.  The elegant, gothic handwriting has to be Kenton's. 

I can't even bring myself to look at it; the unawareness of the content of this piece of paper scares me. 

But being the stupid girl that I am, I force myself to stretch out my arm to turn on my snow white, porcelain lamp and read to it anyways:

As long as waves will connect us like liquid bridges

May something burn and flourish

My mind is no longer within equilibrium

After reading them the only thing I can think of is, "What heck does that mean?"  I rub some sleep out of my eyes and tug the heavy sheets off of my body. 

As I sit up my head spins and I lean against my snow white painted headboard.  The room still slightly spins but I just focus my gaze on the paper, which luckily appears to be at a standstill. 

"As the waves still connect us like liquid bridges." I mumble to nothing in particular.  Then I turn to my dolphin 'Pillow Pet' – Cyan – that I just took out of the closet yesterday and ask, "What do you think Kenton's trying to say?"  My stuffy just stares back at me like it usually does with its beady obsidian eyes and I smack my forehead, "Oh gosh, is this seriously driving me that crazy that I have to talk to my stuffed animal about it?"

 Pause.                                                                                                                                      

"Yup, yup it does." 

So I look over the riddle once again and contemplate.  "As. So we're talking about time here," I pick up my stuffed dolphin and put her in my lap.

For how long the waves will keep us connected.  "Waves.  Water.  How long the ocean connected us together?" I chew my lip and pat my stuffy's head, "That's it.  The water has been churning on this planet forever.  And to make something that will burn and flourish for that amount of time."    I wiggle my toes and scratch the back of my neck, "What on earth could that – wait.  To try to keep a fire burning for eternity.  A spark.  A connection between two people to keep going."  I smile, "I think we may be getting somewhere, Cyan."  And just when the good feeling of achievement soaks in I look at the last line and frown, "Goodness, what do you think this is supposed to mean?"