𝑼𝑺 - ImAllexx x Lewis Buchan

4

tw: panic attack. I'll put a '~' at the part but if that triggers you it would probably be best to skip :)

The next day Lewis was filming a video for his channel with Alex. Alex arrived at the flat half an hour early. "Hi Al!" Lewis opened the door and greeted Alex with a hug. It was only a short hug, nothing meant by it, but to Alex, it meant the world. Lewis let him in and checked his watch for the time. "oh, your half an hour early! Did you just want to spend more time with me?" Lewis chuckled. Alex knew this was the reason, but wanted to hide it. "No I just know you need my help setting up, y'know, 'cause your not very good at it" Alex answered, giggling. "You cheeky prick" Lewis answered, laughing. Alex loved the way Lewis pronounced his 'r's. He thought back to his tiktok where he pronounced 'curly wurly'. He replayed it so many times he could replay it in his head whenever he wanted.

Lewis lead Alex up to his room. He lifted a chair from the kitchen up to his bedroom, for Alex to sit on. 'How's he so strong?' Alex thought. Lewis put the chair down beside his own, in shot of the camera. They made a tiktok video for both of their channels. Lewis had the biggest smile on his face for the whole recording session. 

He didn't realise that the way he was looking at Alex was so obvious until the videos were put on their channels, a week later. Lewis decided to read a few comments. Most of the comments talked about how he was looking at Alex and Lewis cringed when looking back at it. How had been so obvious. He hoped Alex just thought it was a funny joke, to lead on all the stans. Alex always thought it was a joke. Lewis wished he didn't. He wished he could take the hints and understand that Lewis loved him, more than anything else in the world. He didn't want to think about fact that he's destined to get way too drunk one night, blurt it out, and lean in for the kiss. He didn't want to think about it because he knew that Alex would just push him away, run out the door, and stop talking to him.

~

Lewis continued to watch through both videos. He could see what the fans were talking about. He got so worried that before he knew it, he was having a panick attack. It felt like the whole world was just resting on his chest. He couldn't breathe, or think of anything except all the scenarios of what would happen when he told Alex how he felt. All of them ended in rejection. 

Cam could here heavy breathing coming from Lewis's room so he decided to go and investigate. "Lewis? Lewis, you 'right there mate?" Cam asked, knocking on the door. "Y- Ya Ca-am, I'm fi-ne" Lewis tried to sound as calm as he could but he couldn't breathe. Cam opened the door to see Lewis sprawled out on the bed, holding his chest, looking up at the ceiling, and hyperventilating. "Lewis mate, it's ok. You're ok. Copy my breathing" Cam kneeled down beside the bed and tried to calm the scottish man down. Lewis did his best to copy Cam's breathing, and after a few minutes, he had calmed down enough to be able to talk. 

"You ok now?" Cam asked cautiously, not wanting to make him think back to whatever he was thinking about when he walked in. "Ya, I think so. Thanks Cam." Lewis thanked Cam and Cam sat down on the bed beside him as lewis sat up. "So......" Cam wanted to ask what was wrong but didn't want to worry him again. "What was wrong?" Cam asked, choosing his words carefully. " Dunno." Lewis shrugged trying to play it off. He didn't think he was ready to admit his crush to anyone yet. "Listen mate, I know when your lying, but if you don't think your ready to talk to someone about whatever it is yet, then you don't have to talk, but I'm always here for you when you're ready. Cam and Lewis shared a hug and then Cam left his room. Lewis was grateful for Cam. 

~

As soon as he left, Lewis leaned back down on his bed he turned on his side and rewatched the video's on his phone. He couldn't stop looking at Alex, as a single tear floated down his cheek. He fell asleep, phone in hand, thinking of Alex.