Misadventures in Parenthood

Supperstitions

  So... I've been rewriting the series songs again – sorry.

Just in case you don't know – Hangry is when you're angry because you're hungry.

***

Cassandra sighed as she walked through the cottage looking for Varian. It had been a tough day, in fact, since her pregnancy had become obvious to everybody and not just to their close friends, every day had been a tough day. It seemed like everybody had an opinion on how she should behave now she was carrying, what she should call the baby, or if it was a boy or girl. Today had been tougher than most.

It had all started at lunch, Cassandra hadn't been invited to join Rapunzel and the Queen, but when Rapunzel had seen her in the castle courtyard she had dragged her along to eat with them. The problem was having not expecting her the Queen had put on a rather exotic lunch, showcasing some of the spices they'd recently had imported. Cassandra had tried to find something to eat amongst the mixture of dishes but every time her fork went near to one of them the Queen has stopped her.

"Oh no! Cassandra dear, don't eat that, spicy food will burn the baby's eyes, and make it come early."

Cassandra had heeded the Queens warnings and had graciously lunched on a bread roll pretending that she wasn't actually that hungry.

Finally able to take her leave to find something more sustaining she had made her way to the kitchens. There on the table was a chicken that had been roasted and left to cool. She was sure nobody would mind if she just helped herself to a leg.

"Oh, Miss, no." A young kitchen maid came running up to her. "You can't eat chicken or rabbit on a Wednesday, your child will be born with a hoarse voice."

"That seems very specific." Cassandra muttered under her breath. She was getting tired, she got tired a lot these days, it was all the extra weight she was carrying around, plus being woken up multiple times a night by the baby kicking her in the bladder. She decided just to help herself to a cup of coffee. This time it was the old chef who stopped her.

"Cassandra, come on, you should know better than that. If you drink coffee your baby will be born with both male and female parts."

She left, hungry and aggravated, perhaps she could find something to eat in the town square. As she walked down the hot streets she started to smell something delicious coming from Uncle Monty's sweets shop, she ducked her head in to see Attila putting a fresh batch of cupcakes on the side.

"Hmm... those smell delicious, one please." She handed over her money as Attila passed her a cupcake.

"Sweet tooth? You must be having a girl. They say girls steal a mother's beauty."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Uh... nothing."

Finally, Cassandra thought as she walked out the door lifting the cupcake to take a bite. Only to drop it as somebody grabbed her a pulled her out the way.

"What the?"

"Watch out Miss." The young man who had grabbed her said.

Cassandra looked around trying to see what the danger was, but apart from a few people mulling around the shops all she could see was a white cat walking passed her.

"Cat's will steal a baby's breath Miss."

It took every last ounce of self-control she had to smile politely at him. Her dropped cupcake was splattered against the floor, and she had not brought enough money out with her to get another one. She decided to head home, there were cupboards full of food back at home. As it was a hot day she decided it best to walk down by the harbour and take advantage of the sea breeze.

"Watch out Miss!"

Cassandra stopped and looked around; the shout had come from a man on a fishing boat. The shout had stopped her mid step, about to step over some ropes that had been left at the side of the jetty.

"Don't step over ropes Miss, it'll make the babies cord wrap round his neck."

Cassandra side stepped and continued with her journey. Now she was at home, hungry and fed-up, but she wanted to check on Varian and make sure that he didn't want her to make him some lunch as well. She walked out the back of their house to the old barn which Varian used as a lab. He was nowhere to be seen, but as she looked around she saw a sandwich lying on one of his shelves. Hungrily she grabbed it.

"Cassandra! Wait! Don't eat that." Varian shouted from behind her, rushing into the barn.

Cassandra finally lost her cool and reached for her knife, holding it out at chest level.

Varian jumped back holding his hands up.

"Don't you dare! I will eat what I want to eat!"

"Cassandra you're hangry, I get it

Believe me I know what it's like

But you're making a mistake

That sandwich you choose has been there all week

It was good at first

But now the meats started to reek

With each passing bite your stomachs further away from alright

Suddenly you lose the meat, you lose the bread,

Lose your snacks then lose your lunch

Every lose misses the loos

Then you'll see you'll lose your dinner

Last night sole

Till you lose complete control

And realise there's nothing left to lose

Nothing left to lose."

Cassandra dropped the sandwich and her knife on the floor and started to cry.

"What's wrong with me? I'm just so tired and so hungry and our kids going to be born with burnt eyes and no voice, and a hermaphrodite!"

Varian, used to her pregnant mood swings, stepped over and hugged her.

"Shush, it's alright. None of that's going to happen, and you can have all the ham sandwiches you want, I promise. If that's what you want then no pig in the seven kingdoms is safe."

She sniffled and wiped her nose on her sleeve.

"Varian, I think I need a lie down."

He nodded and kissed her on the forehead.

"You go to bed Cassie. I'll bring you up some lunch."