Todays The Day

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I get up around seven thirty and start to prep and wait for Adrian to show up. As soon as I put the bacon in the oven he texts that he's outside I open up the door and he comes in and starts to help he mixes the stuff for the French toast and crack all the eggs I flip the bacon and and it's almost ready so I cut up fruit and he lays out all the bread and starts to cook I scramble the eggs and get them onto plates and he starts putting the French toast on plates and then I cut up the berries and put them on the plate it's about nine fifteen and Ej comes in saying everyone over slept and they are late for school. I tell him they're not going and to go wake everyone for breakfast. I put the bacon on the plates and set the table. Brittany comes in while I'm setting the table and I tell her sit and I fix her a plate then I go and get Eva she's walking now so I just open the baby gate to her room and let her out and put her in the high chair with her food. Then me and Adrian ate at the bar and then cleaned up and told the kids to take baths and get ready we have to go somewhere. We left to go to the dollar tree to pick up balloons and some markers for them to write on it I'm not sure who Brittany is to them or if she even knew her but I grabbed an extra for her. Adrian insisted that I needed to write one also so I grabbed a gold star for myself I grab a couple of clips to weigh them down. We head back to the house I get there everyone is dressed so we load them into the car and go to the cemetery. Ej Asia and Aaliyah look around you can see the sadness in their eyes everyone gets out and we go over to her grave and I clip a balloon to everyone and hand them a marker and tell them it's been a year since they lost their mother write her a letter and tell her all about the year they've been through. I give Eva a marker just to draw and everyone else is writing. I just watch them for a moment then I sit down to write mine and Adrian just stands behind by the car. I look back at him he gives me a small soft smile and I write away. "Dear Ashley this day is hard for my siblings I don't feel much pain but hurt because you weren't there for me you didn't want me you didn't grow with me you grew without me. I came to realize you missed out on 17 years a greatness you missed out on my accomplishment you missed out on my life and I'm okay with that because I had a family that wanted me that praised my every move big or small. Even after I came into your life I still was treated as less than by the woman that birthed me and that is what hurts the most. I'm writing this letter to say that I forgive you and it's okay that you weren't the best mother to me but because I found that in someone else it didn't matter anymore. I got tired of feeling like I was the problem like I did something wrong when all along it was you So with this balloon I release this hurt onto you!" I look up to see everyone else had finished writing and I guess I zoned out while writing I had tears in my eyes but I held them back I un clipped everyone's balloon and said release them and we watched them all float away. As we walk away I feel as though a pain was lifted off my shoulders. They take the kids to the park and me and Adrain just get in the car and ride while I look out the window he reaches over and grabs my hand and says hey you okay you were writing for awhile. I smile and say I think I'm going to be fine. We ride around in silence before we head back to the house to make lunch. We get back to the house so I start to make some popcorn chicken and fries. They start coming I do I sent them to wash their hands while Adrian fixes their plates. I make me a salad with popcorn chicken and we eat and the kids end up going to take a nap. We sit and talk for a little before me and Adrian leave to go over momma Autumns. We're riding and Adrain turns down the radio and goes I've got a question he pauses and goes I don't mean to intrude or be rude but how is your dad it's only been a year and he's in a relationship? I look up and say oh no it's fine I actually had a conversation with him before she passed they weren't on good terms they were actually about to separate they didn't want to split up the kids so they were working out who would stay in the house and who would leave. But it all went down hill because she wanted to take the kids with her to her boyfriends house she had been cheating and he didn't want the kids around another man until they actually met him and liked him. That's where me coming back from my adopted parents house some in. They were getting a divorce and he wanted me back since she was leaving he wanted to get to know me for the 16 years he missed out on he got the pictures and everything he kept in contact with them but couldn't see me because of her. That night that she left after arguing with me was the night she actually died her boyfriend killed her and tried to hide the body. He wouldn't say why he did it but we haven't told the kids why they didn't even know their parents were getting a divorce and we don't want them to think any different of her. I was kind of worried too it's good that someone else noticed. We pulled up to the house I knock on the door John opens the door and gives me a hug and I walk past he shakes Adrians hand and then says they are in the living room I walk in thinking they? Once I get there I see Sasha and Momma Autumn I look at Sasha and say girl why are you here don't you have your own home. She giggles this is my home Idk what you're talking about come sit. So I go and sit between her and momma Autumn then John and Adrian sit across from us on the other couch and everyone gets quiet. Everyone's looking at me so I'm like uh everything okay and Sasha speaks first she starts off by say you know we're here for you If you ever need a moment or even to vent. I smile and I'm like I know with a confused look so I'm like did something happen what did I miss. We know that your mother wasn't there for you but we also know that it hurts and its ok to be hurt you don't have to be strong for the kids all the time. You don't have to hold it all in it might not hit you now but it's going to eventually hit you and we want you to know that you can come to us. I smile and say thank you and that I'm fine I hug momma Autumn then say now can we all stop being so sappy. Group hug and enjoy the rest of the day. We talk for a little bit more and plan a trip to the zoo for tomorrow I text James and tell him meet me at Walmart with the kids once there I let each kid pick out two snacks and juice then grabbed everyone a hat and small backpack to carry their snacks and juice we leave and head home. Everyone gets ready for bed. I pack their backpacks with snacks and put the juice in the freezer. I head down to my room and lay my outfit out and go to sleep.  It's six and my alarm is going off I get up go brush my teeth and shower and on the way past wake all the kids to brush their teeth and wash their face and I go to my room and get dressed.

  It's six and my alarm is going off I get up go brush my teeth and shower and on the way past wake all the kids to brush their teeth and wash their face and I go to my room and get dressed

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I go and make all the kids a bowl of cereal and pack the juices in their bag. As were loading the kids into the cars Adrian pulls up on his motorcycle and parks it under the garage. The zoo is an hour away they open up at nine so we'll get there around nine thirty and stay till maybe three or four have lunch there. We get to the zoo take tons of pictures and do lots of activities and the kids sit down for lunch we eat and then walk around for another hour then head to the gift shop everyone buys something to take home and we head out the rest of the day is chill everybody got home and went straight to sleep even Adrain took a nap. We woke up around seven everyone was sleep but Eva she was in her room just playing with toys so I fed her something and made them food so if they woke up they could eat. I put her back in her room and turned on the baby monitor and went back to the living room me and Adrain talk for a while before he goes and then I just get ready for bed. Sunday moves pretty quickly it's just cleaning day we wash clothes and set up for the week and work on "misplaced homework" just basically home work they act like they forgot about. We finish up and get ready for Monday. It's seven and I get up tell the kids get ready and dress myself we only have two days of school left since Thanksgiving is Thursday and they made it seem like we just had to had to be there that's why we have test during this week so we have to show up. I just went with a black tee and some bleached jeans I head to the school to prepare for these pointless test. I take one for every ass except one it wasn't even a test it was just a piece of paper that said name here so I'm assuming he's over it too. And tomorrow I have 3 more test. The last bell of the  day rings and I head to work it's only three thirty so I stop at sonic on the way and grab me and Sasha a drink once I get to work it's five minutes before I have to clock in and I walk through the door and the manger says they are in the training room this time all the items are moved so someone will have to be on the floor stocking. I go to the break room and put the drinks in the fridge and then go into the training room and stop in my tracks as I open the door. Like of all the places you could work why here. I give them the brief and task they need done and send them on their way. I walk off without another word just thinking where the fuck is Sasha?

Me- Girl you will NEVER guess who got a job here.

Bestfriend💚🤞🏽🥰- Who?

Me- You need to hurry up and get here to see because this blows my mind.  You always late when something happens.

Bestfriend💚🤞🏽🥰- Shut up I'm almost there.

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