Hope for the best, prepare for the worst (a.i/l.h)

06

Lias POV

"I'm sorry for your loss, I'll give you two some time" The doctor says.

"Could you send the three teenage boys in. And if a girls shown up with dark brown hair could you send her in too?" I ask. The doctor nods and minutes later Michael, Calum, Luke and Alana walk in. Alana walks over and hugs me and I just scream. It's muffled by her shoulder and I just sob and cry "She's gone, the - the babies gone"

"Shh, babe it's fine" Alana soothes.

"Did the doctor say what could of caused the miscarriage?" Calum asks.

"Stress, also yelling is bad" Ashton says. Luke looks down at the floor and scuffs his shoes.

"Luke, it's fine it's not your fault" I say.

"It is though. I'm the reason this baby is gone" Luke says angrily.

"You never wanted it in the first place" I sigh.

-

It's been two weeks. Two weeks since the miscarriage and I feel so... empty.

Me and Ashton moved into a small apartment and I've been sitting in the window seat everyday. Looking down at the ground. I saw a woman walking past with a stroller with a small baby in the other day, causing a fresh batch of tears to fall.

Ashtons been drinking almost every day. He goes out, doesn't come back for hours and when he does he's drunk.

I sit at the window seat, picking at the sleeves of my jumper and look down at my charm bracelet. I look away and back down to the ground.

I wish I still had this baby. It may of been un-planned but I would of loved it either way. It bought me and Ashton closer, and now that it's gone we've drifted apart.

I hear a few thumps from outside the door and sigh. I guess Ashtons back. I look out the window until Ashton stumbles in. Now you'd thing Ashton would be giggly and funny when he's drunk. He's the exact opposite. He's angry and loud, but not the good loud.

"Let me guess, you've been moping around the house again" He slurs. I roll my eyes and look back out the window until I feel a pain in my head. Ashton pulls my hair back and looks me in the eye "Look at me when I talk to you! And don't roll your eyes at me!"

"Okay, I'm sorry" I whimper. Scurrying away from him and crouching against the wall.

"You'd better be" He smirks "But I'm still not done with you" he comes over and I feel a stinging on my cheek. I raise my hand and touch it, realising he'd slapped me. He kicks my sides and pulls me up by my hair, pushing me back into the wall. I hit my head off the wall as Ashton grips my wrists tightly and smirks at me "Get over it. You lost the dumb, damn baby. Now grow up and stop trying to play mummies and daddies, you're not four anymore Lia"

"I'm not-"

"Did I say you could speak?!" He yells, causing me to flinch. He punches me in the stomach and then slaps me around the face again before dropping me on the floor and stalking to our bedroom. I just curl into a ball and cry.

-

"Mum I would come over but - um, you see - me and ash are going away for the weekend" I sigh, looking at Ashton sat on the couch, watching football and drinking a beer.

"Amelia, you havnt been home in a month and a half, what's wrong?" Mum asks.

"Nothings wrong mum" I sigh. But I beg to differ. I look in the hall mirror and look at the bruises on my face and arms before lifting my top and seeing my stomach covered in bruises.

"Then come home" Mum pleads.

"I'll try mum" I say "I love you"

"Love you too honey" She says. I hang up before feeling a hand on my shoulder.

"Lieing to mummy?" Ashton smirks "Lieing is bad, and bad girls get punished" He says, pushing me against the wall "What should I do to you"

"Ash - please"

"Shut up!" He booms "It's your fault we lost that baby! Not mine! Not luke! Yours! You would of been a terrible mother anyway!" he slaps me before walking away "Just crawl up in a ball and cry like you always do, bitch"

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what have I done?!