The Last Marauder Standing || Sirius Black

17-Just a Kiss

I spent the next few days contemplating whether or not I would ask Sirius to the Slug Club party. Sure, he was my friend now and friends can invite each other to parties, but he openly confessed his feelings for me. I'm just not sure how deep those feelings run, and I don't want to string him along and make him believe he has a chance.

Of course, I would never admit this to Lily, Marlene, or Alice. Aside from the constant teasing, I would receive, I would also be asked if I returned the feelings, and I honestly didn't have an answer. The simple answer would be no. I don't want to return the feelings. I don't want to get caught up with Sirius and deal with all the girls he has been with before and the girls who wish to be with him now. I don't want to deal with what might lead to a messy breakup and heartache. I simply do not want it.

But then there is the feeling I get when he's around. When he acts kind towards me, showing me that he cares. I think back to the first time I saw his grey eyes and how I was absolutely mesmerized by them. How every time he smiles at me my stomach fills with butterflies that I can't control. All of it was just too confusing.

I thought about all of this as I sat next to him in History of Magic. He was surprisingly listening along and taking notes, while I was staring at the wall, off in my own world. I looked over to him and watched him write, his handwriting actually incredibly neat. I watched as he used his non-dominant hand to push his long hair out of his face as he concentrated on his work. I'm shocked I was able to make such an impact on his study habits.

He suddenly looked up at me as if he could feel my stare. I quickly looked away, pretending I wasn't admiring him for so long. I could see him smirking out of the corner of my eye before he returned to his work. I sighed, my heart suddenly taking control while my brain took the back seat. I ripped off a piece of my paper and wrote a simple note to Sirius:

Do you want to go to the Slug Club party with me tonight?

I looked at it for a few seconds, making sure this was the right decision, before folding it up and passing it over to him, not even looking in his direction. I heard him unfold the paper. He paused for a moment, and I'm not sure if it was in happiness, disbelief, or both. Or worse, pity. What if he said no?

Suddenly I saw him slide it back over to me and I quickly grabbed it and unfolded it to see his answer. Under my question was a simple "yes", and I tried to hide my smile as I looked up at him and we made eye contact. He was smiling wide, excitement in his smokey eyes. I looked back down at my notes, hiding my face before he could see my blush. This is exactly what I was trying to avoid, so why do I enjoy the feeling so much?

***

Later that night Lily and I were getting ready together while Marlene and Alice sat on their beds and judged our outfits. I went through every dress in my closet and they said no to every single one. They were all far too excited that I was going to this party with Sirius, and they claim I have to look perfect for him.

Marlene let me borrow one of her dresses, a black lace dress with tan fabric underneath. It had a deep v neck and ended just above my knees. I walked out in front of them and they squealed with excitement.

"That dress is so perfect!!" Alice exclaimed, the other girls nodding along.

"Look at that, I've done it again. Just call me the fashion queen" Marlene joked, taking a small bow.

"Is that what you'll be wearing Lily?" I asked her, admiring the green silk dress she wore. It really made her hair and eyes pop.

"Yes! Don't you just love it?" She asked, looking at herself in the mirror again. "I'm not one to dress up daily, but I have so much fun going to these parties so I get the chance to be... girly for a night" She laughed, turning to me again. I thought about that for a moment and smiled, nodding.