𝐔𝐍𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐘 (𝟏𝟖+) √

26

ROSE

3 YEARS LATER

''This isn't my fault, Ryland,'' I repeated, for what seemed to be a millionth time. Since it was just the two of us in my office, I allowed my impulsive thoughts to win and banged my head against the wooden desk. No doubt, a bump was going to appear soon.

Ryland rolled his eyes. ''The investors backed out all of a sudden, after a meeting with you. And it wasn't one that backed out, it's all of them. What the fuck did you tell them?''

I grimaced at the thought. ''I don't remember.''

My brother blinked. ''How can you not remember?'' He was silent, as was I. He was thinking about the whole situation, whilst I hung my head low.

His eyes widened. ''You went to a meeting drunk, Rose? What the fuck is the matter with you?''

''In my defense...'' I paused, trying to think of a good enough excuse, though there was not a single one that popped into my head. ''Yeah, I've got nothing.''

Ryland released a deep breath, anger visible on his face as he stood up from his chair. ''I'm taking over the company soon, and you just had to ruin the reputation. I don't care what you do, get the investors back.''

''You want me to kiss their ass?'' It was a rhetorical question.

''Lick their asses if necessary.''

A very nasty, vivid image of me doing that to men that were in their fifties and sixties popped into my head. I cussed my brother for giving me a lifetime of nightmares, though he was out of the door before the cussing was complete.

The past three years were definitely... something. It took me two and a half years to build a reputation for myself and I ruined it in one night. Since I didn't remember exactly what I did that night, it was hard to come up with a way of apologizing.

Ryland was, well, Ryland. He was out partying, traveling and coming back once a month for the family dinners we agreed on. Though, it took less than six months for the ritual to stop, as my mother had a habit of ruining the night for everyone.

Instead, dad visited me in the office frequently, which wasn't as bad. No matter how shitty of a father he was, he ran his business well, and his knowledge helped me out in the long run. We never spoke of our relationship, nor how it could be fixed. I was concentrated on the company, and he was just a helper. I didn't need a father anymore, I learned how to live peacefully without one.

I got married in Las Vegas, and got the marriage annulled. They shouldn't let drunk people get married, and although it was a mistake, it was definitely funny. The guy was someone I met during my stay, and someone I haven't spoken to since.

My life was... good. I had my ups and downs, times where I wanted to quit, crawl into a hole and die, but Sam and Ryland never allowed me. I was grateful to have them by my side, despite having a lot of different opinions.

Hell, sometimes, I just wanted to be left alone, for good. They didn't allow me, and although one could argue they used the company as an excuse to guilt trip me into actually doing something, it was what pulled me out of the dark times.

''You're back sooner than I expected,'' I spoke, flipping through papers. Ryland rolled his eyes, acting as if he didn't storm out of the office fifteen minutes ago, like a toddler whose candy was taken away.

''I just received some news.''

''What news?''

''Grandma died.''

''Oh.''

It was silent, as our eyes locked. ''Rose, you're smiling.''

''No, I'm not.'' I couldn't help it. The grin was getting bigger and bigger, and although I knew I had to go for the funeral, I tried not to think about the time I spent there. I didn't necessarily feel happiness for her passing, it was more of a... relief.

As bad as it sounded, I felt nothing else. No sadness, not an ounce of emotion, other than relief.

''Yes, you are,'' a sigh of disappointment slipped his lips, but he ignored my laughter. ''The funeral is two days from now, I'll book us tickets.''

''Must I go?'' The answer was obvious, but I was hoping Ryland could get me out of this. His response was a glare and I didn't argue further.

''Fine,'' I caved, ''Let me know the time of the flight.''

Somehow, all of the feelings that I suppressed threatened to resurface. I was thinking of this trip as a closure, and the chances of meeting Tobias were high, though I prayed that he wouldn't be there.

—

Tobias. The man who popped into my head from time to time. I wondered how he was doing, what he was doing and if he was okay. Not once did I think of contacting him, nor trying to see if he had any social media.

The first few months after I sent him a response letter, I was going back and forth between being all right, and being in a state of misery. There were days where I'd stare outside of my window, hoping that I'd get another letter.

Soon, that misery turned into numbness and indifference. My heart ached at the thought of him, and ever since he entered and left my life, I was unable of forming a meaningful relationship with men. I went on dates, and no matter how much the guys were nice, attractive or successful, I couldn't catch feelings. My heart closed off, and learning to live with that was fine.

Not a single man I met over the past three years made me flutter.

I needed someone to tell me why my stupid heart fluttered at the sight of Tobias.

I was in the back row, and Ryland was in the front one. There was not a chance of Tobias seeing me as I was trying to hide, but I saw his eyes roam the crowded room.

He grew out his hair. It was just above his shoulders, and tied in a half bun. He seemed to be aging backwards, and I was a little bit jealous of that. He looked good. Of course, I knew there was a possibility of him actually becoming a priest, and as proud as I was of him, I was sad.

There was always going to be a part of me that hoped that he and I could be together, some day. It hurt, but I was grateful that all of those fantasies and delusions were put to rest.

The service was fine. I was bored out of my mind, but to be at least a little respectful, I kept my mouth shut and yawned only three times. Ryland placed a rose on her grave, but I didn't. I moved to the back, sat on a small bench and stared at the people who came to pay their respects.

''Of course you would come without a rose.''

I froze. I didn't need to turn to the side to see who it was, I already knew. My body reacted on its own, the familiar scent hit my nose and my heart almost leaped out of my chest.

''Tobias,'' I got the courage and turned to look at him. It took all the strength I had not to burst into tears, not to touch him. ''I hope you've been well.''

He smiled. His smile was genuine, though it didn't reach his eyes. Something flickered behind those eyes that were in my dreams almost every night. ''You too, though from what I've seen, you're doing great.''

''It wasn't easy, but it was worth it.''

He was referring to the company. In the past year, we've been all over the internet, and I had no doubts that he'd seen an article or two.

''I'm proud of you, you've accomplished a lot.''

My heart fluttered at the compliment. ''Thank you.''

''When are you leaving?''

''Tonight.'' My response came quickly.

Tobias nodded his head. We were barely blinking, trying to savor the moment. The chance of seeing him ever again after this was almost non-existent, and I wanted to have him in my memory, preserved as much as it was possible.

''Can I treat you to a coffee before you leave?''

His voice was soothing. Though I was trembling, it was mostly excitement and anxiety mixed together. I was silent, debating whether or not it was a good idea to take him up on his offer. But, this was the last time and the only chance I had to speak to him. Against my better judgement, I smiled.

''Okay.''