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the school day had finally came to a close and me, along with every other student, was dismissed to go home. the main entrance turned into the main exit and several people crowded it.
i maneuvered through the hallways, making an effort to not shove anyone. once i finally made it out of the door, my eyes searched the parking lot for my mom's car.
i usually drove or walked to school but my mom wanted to drop me off this morning so i didn't have that option.
i spotted the black altima and walked swiftly over to it. my mom saw me as i neared the car and smiled while unlocking the door. i got in and threw my book bag in the backseat before speaking to her.
"hey mommy."
"hey sweetie." she replied and began pulling out of the busy parking lot.
i glanced out the windows at the swarm of bodies surrounding the building, either waiting on a ride or hanging out until after school activities started.
"how was school today?" she asked once we made it onto the main road. i blinked rapidly, bringing myself back to reality.
"it was fine, the usual." i answered shortly but politely. despite me hating small talk i knew my mom was being her usual, sweet self.
"well did anything new happen today, you say that same answer everyday.", and she chuckled at herself, stopping at a red light.
"nothing i can think of- oh, actually it is something new. i have a project to do with classmate for the next two weeks, for my english class. do you think she could come over so we can work?" my mom was quiet for a minute, an unreadable expression on her face, then shrugged.
"why not? what's this girls name?"
"sam."
my mom peeked over at me, "is sam just a friend or y'know... a little more than that?"
i looked over at her, unable to contain my smile and tried looking annoyed.
"no mom. she's just a peer."
"well... would you like her to be more than a peer?", and she nudged her shoulder in my direction, making me giggle.
"i mean she's really pretty and smart, i wouldn't be against that. but i don't think she likes me like that." i shrugged.
"and why do you assume that? you're a really sweet and kind girl, why wouldn't she like you?" her eyebrows arched in confusion.
when i came out to my family this summer my mom was very supportive of me and i couldn't thank her more for that. i've never seen her so open and ready to learn about things until then. but it's a bit irritating when she meddles in my love life, like now.
"cause i just do mom. i don't have very much context to give you.", and she cut her eyes at me, noticing my sarcastic demeanor. i looked down at my lap with a grin to escape her gaze.
"don't get smart with me lani-" she digressed, "and that's not a real answer, i'll leave you alone about her now, but she still gotta come to my house." i rolled my eyes playfully at her and turned back towards the window.
when she didn't say anything else, i assumed the conversation was over and we sat in a comfortable silence the rest of the way home, which wasn't far. for the next ten minutes or so, i connected my wired earbuds and listened to a few songs, getting lost in my own world.
music had a special place in my heart.
we made it to our neighborhood and my little daydream came to a close when we pulled into our fairly small driveway. i saw my dad's car parked and gave a look of confusion.
"ma, i thought dad was working late today." she shook her head at me.
"he was, but decided to come home early because he wasn't feeling the best.", i nodded and sighed, grabbing my back pack from the backseat.
my mom placed a hand on top of mine and looked into my eyes, "hey, i know you two aren't as close as you use to but it would be nice if y'all tried."
unlike my mom, when i came out this summer my dad wasn't as supportive. and i don't necessarily blame him in entirety because internalized homophobia is very real, but it didn't help that our relationship kind of deteriorated afterwards.
"i do try mom, but it always seems one-sided, like i'm doing all the work. i really wanna believe he's trying but i can't ever tell.", i spoke softly and my mother's eyes saddened.
"leilani i'm really sorry about him. i know he still hasn't fully accepted it but he is trying. i'll talk to him about the one-sided thing and see what he says. you are still his daughter i'm sure he'll come around eventually..."
i intertwined my fingers with my mom's and rubbed her knuckles with my thumb.
"i do too mommy."
we glanced at one another assuringly and got out of the car. i reached the front door before her and though i had my own key, my dad was home, so i knocked. after waiting a couple of seconds i heard footsteps get closer and he opened the door.
we met eyes briefly and he stepped to the side so me and my mom could walk in. i heard my mom speak to him and the door close faintly behind. i walked through the mock doorway of our kitchen and went to the sink to wash my hands, aware that i had contracted who knows how many germs today.
my mom and dad made their way into the kitchen and sat at the table, talking about whatever adults talk about. i overheard my mom bring up the topic of my project and mentally facepalmed.
after drying my hands i made my way to the pantry for a snack, my eyes darting around until they met with the box of brown sugar cinnamon pop tarts. i grabbed one and was on my way out of the kitchen until a voice stopped me.
"well hello to you too leilani." my dad spoke while peering at me over his shoulder.
"hey dad." i mumbled just loud enough so he could hear me.
"uh huh, how was your day?", and he turned around in his chair to face me.
"it was fine, nothing special." i replied while opening my pop tart. that was partly a lie but i didn't necessarily wanna tell him about the special part.
"oh... well that's good... or bad? depends on what special is." he chuckled and i nodded agreeingly.
it got awkwardly quiet and i could tell he didn't know what else to say to me. i didn't know what else to say either so i only participated in the silence. as odd as it is, that's how i would describe my relationship with him since i came out, awkward silence.
i grabbed my book bag from the counter and slowly began walking out of the kitchen, attempting to escape the awkwardness. before i could hit the first stair, my dad called out to me and i turned to look at him.
"i love you, leilani." he almost looked defeated. i knew he was trying and i almost felt bad about being so short with him, but it's gonna take more than 'i love you' to show me because that's something i already know.
i replied softly "i love you too," and continued my way to my room.
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i'm sorry this was late, even if it's just one day. i had this chapter finished and ready to upload on monday but wattpad was glitching and it wouldn't let me so instead of getting frustrated i just logged out overnight and hoped it would work in the morning.
i hope y'all liked this chapter, don't forget to vote and comment.
i love you🤎.
