keep my skull (on your mantelpiece)

thoughts from the overlook hotel

the flush red. the hardwire. the short circuiting broad.
the rushing in my ears
the veins of a lightning rod
i spend the days walking on egg shells around myself
a tiptoe to cut costs
hoping someone'll notice the odd dance
the smoke stack in my head
the two girls that watch
overlooking the hotel and it's patrons
i kiss each on the cheek as they depart before a blood bathtub scene begins to play on tv
oh do stay if you can
i'm nothing, if not patient
stay a while, lock pick heart. i'm so tired of the fear in her eyes
swear i'll be normal like before
sing in the afternoon. say what i really mean. make jokes and stop howling
oh but the
rosewood flooring. old carpeting. asbestos walls. at the bottom i'm just a building. when the wind's too rough i surge and the lights flicker
on off
radiator mishap. heaters and hail mary's
i've got this furnace that sits ugly and only survives when babysat
mewling like a monstrous kitten
unfed but quite fat.
i'm finished with her rumbles and growls boiling over the pot.
good old Johnny is coming for me and
he's not afraid to burn the whole damn thing down.
let her rot let her rot

a/n: so basically, the overlook hotel from the shining is me and my heart is the furnace that keeps threatening to blow up. (In the book it blows up the hotel which doesn't happen in the movie). Came up with this because I was on antidepressants but can't get more for a while and I'm getting heart palpitations from suddenly being off them. Sometimes life is ugly and uncomfortable.