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So things are getting weird. He's stopped asking me if I'm alright with what we're doing. Normally I'd have a say but not anymore. First, he gets rid of the safe word and now this.
Something's wrong with him. He makes me dress up as a little kid which I don't like but he won't accept that I don't like it. He only takes it as me going against his rules so I get punished.
Sometimes it gets that bad he makes it physically impossible for me to walk the next day then punishes me more because I can't look after myself.
Before he'd only use the knife on my back and I was fine with that but, now he's doing it anywhere more on the back of my knees, my stomach and my face.
I've been getting more questions about everything that's happening but I don't bother answering them.
As long as I please him that's all that matters. "Have you eaten breakfast?" He asks and I sigh "not yet" I've only just gotten up.
"Do you plan on eating breakfast?" I look at the time it's 10:30 "probably not" a smirk falls onto his face. "You just love getting punished don't you?"
Not again.
"Just lie down on your side and it'll be over shortly." He grabs his knife. The only thing that's been touching me the past couple of months.
He drags it across my knee caps "will you eat breakfast?"
"By the time we've finished, it'll be lunch so no"
He drags the knife in deeper. I yell in agony but he gives his hand in front of my mouth. I'd say the knife was hitting my bone.
"I see you haven't learnt your lesson from last time. I'll have to increase your punishment. It'll hurt but you love it don't you?"
He pours this hot liquid down my side to him the liquid is slightly warm but to me, it feels like molten lava.
This isn't right. "Please stop" I whisper. "Please, I don't like it, it hurts please stop"
"Shut up, will you. You're lucky I'm still doing this with you. You practically begged me to go into this relationship remember?"
Right, I did didn't I?
"You've been getting a lot of stares lately. You love the attention don't you whore."
No, I don't. Don't call me that. I don't want to be with you anymore.
"Answer me otherwise I'll keep on pouring"
"Yes, I love their stares master. I love how you call me a whore and a slut"
He sighs "you're boring me now. Get changed and go home"
I quickly get my clothes on and rush back to my house. I've not been letting my parents see what I look like. I leave early in the morning and I sneak in through my window late at night. I eat after they've gone to bed. Only so they don't see what I've become.
I've become noticeably skinnier. I'm just a cum dumpster and that's it.
When I go into my room I tend to my wound but I realised the liquid is wax and it's still on me. Shit. I quickly wipe the cuts with an antiseptic wipe and rush to the shower to try and wash the wax off of me. It's probably going to leave a massive scar but he won't care.
That date was the only one that happened. There were no more after it because he didn't care. He just wanted to release whatever emotions he has inside but I can't say anything otherwise I'm in the wrong.
The wax isn't coming off in the shower so I'm going to have to peel it off. It's probably going to rip my skin off. There's a lot as well.
I put a towel underneath me just in case I start to bleed.
Hesitantly I begin to peel it off the pain being unbearable right from the get-go. This is what he wanted.
He wanted me to struggle knowing I'm powerless. Knowing that I won't do anything.
I can do something about it but will I? No, because if I do who knows shat he's capable of. And we're still in volleyball the season isn't over yet we have nationals tomorrow. That is if we beat Karasuno.
Our standard has lowered. Ushijimas power spikes have been blockable if he's in the wrong mindset.
With goldy locks there he's going to be ticked off at the least. His accuracy is going to decrease and that's going to piss him off even more.
I've nearly got the wax off and luckily only a little amount of blood as escaped my body.
Once I've taken it off I wipe it with an antiseptic wipe and put one of those big plasters onto it so it doesn't get infected.
I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight. He haunts my dreams. I think once this relationship is over if it ever ends I won't delve into this world ever again.
I know it will never be like this again. But I don't think I'll be able to without thinking of him.
I've been lucky, no one has informed my parents or authorities yet. It's only going to be a matter of time though. Tomorrow's game gets televised. I hope I'll be able to play. I'm on the starting line this time.
That's something, isn't it? I guess it's out of pity. I will probably get subbed out after the first five minutes.
I hope we can win. Tendo said about him quitting if we lose this match. If we don't win he can tease me more, he can give me more punishments and he can use me more.
We have to win and I won't let anything get in my way.
