"God blow!" Aqua yelled out. As her fist connected to the ferocious beast. One of nightmares and agony. A giant frog. Of course it did nothing as the frog looked at Aqua. "Now that I look at you, your kinda of cute." Aqua said. "Croak (You dun fuck up)" the frog croaked before swallowing Aqua hole. "Ahhh, (Y/N) help!" She yelled. "Come on Kazuma, this will be good practice. Show the frog who's boss." I told Kazuma. "Alright, here I go!" He said as he charged the frog. He was swallowed whole too before he could swing. "Welp, there they go." Chris said. "I will take care of this." I said. I charged the frog as it went to swallow me. But, I brought my bat down on its head destroying it's upper body and creating a small crater. I walked up to the remains to see both Aqua and Kazuma still there. "Hey there sunshine." I said as I laughed. Aqua started crying as she jumped onto me. "Thank you!" She yelled. I just hugged her and patted her back till she calmed down. Chris and Lilly walked up to us with Chris looking a bit jealous. "Somebody's jealous?" I asked. "Not at all." Chris said. Since I was covered in frog slime from Aqua, I got a brilliant idea. I then bear hugged both Lilly and Chris as they yelled out about how disgusting I am. "Hahaha." I literally was dying from laughter as the now everyone is covered in slime. "Why?" Lilly asked in a sad tone. "Sharing is caring." I replied. "Asshole." She said. "Masochist." I said before I was swallowed, sort of. The frog couldn't actually pick me up, so it was more like kissing the ground with me in it's mouth. I just used magic to burn the frog away. "Hey, about a competition." I said. "What kind?" Kazuma said with suspicion. "You guys vs me. See who can kill the most frogs. We meet back here at 12. Winner tells loser what to do." I said. Before anyone could answer, Lilly yelled out. "You're on!" She said as everyone panicked. "Then I'm off!" I said before running away.
*Timeskip*
It was twelve as I approached our spot and saw everyone drenched in slime. "How'd it go?" I asked. "We killed twelve! Beat that!" Lilly said. I chuckled at her behavior as Kazuma sighed. "We lost, didn't we." He said. "Nah, I only killed twelve, then took a nap." I said. They became shocked before celebrating. Aqua then jumped on me. "I want you to carry me back." She said. "Wish granted as." I picked her up bridal style. "Get me the most expensive meal when we get back." Kazuma said. I looked at Chris and Lilly as I saw the two blush for some reason. "We want to save it till later." Chris said. "Y-yeah, what she said." Lilly whispered. "Okay, let's get back to the guild and reap our reward." I said.
*Timeskip*
As we got back to the guild, everyone cashed in their kills and the quest except for me. As everyone went back to the table, I approached Luna. "So, um, Luna. Can you keep this quite when I show you my card?" I asked. "O-of course sir." She said. "Whew, thank you. I don't like attention at all." I said as I took off my helmet and wiped some sweat off. I then showed her my card as it showed me killing eleven frogs that day and a few hundred drakes from a valley I stumbled upon. Her jaw dropped as she looked at it. "So, what's the pay?" I asked. "Several millions, I don't even know if have that much on us right now." She said. "Don't worry about it, just give me a million Eris and I'll be happy with that." I said. "Are you sure? I mean this is several hundred million Eris we are talking about." She said. "Yeah, well if took that much, it might make the inn bankrupt and a lovely lady like you jobless." I said. "I know, but still. Something like this, you deserve all of it." She said. "How about this. You allow me to bunk in the biggest room here for free." I said. "Yes, of course. There's one next to mine that you can have!" She exclaimed before giving me a key with a 4 on it and a million Eris in a small but heavy bag. "Thanks, have a good day." I said as I tuck the money money in my vest.
I approached the table and sat in between Chris and Lilly. "Ok, we got all the money together which is around 36,000 Eris, when spl-" I interrupted Kazuma. "You and Aqua keep all that. You guys deserve it, and think of it as a gift from us to you guys for letting us join." I said as Aqua became excited. "Thank you so much, I'm going to have a drink!" She said as she went and order some alcohol. "(Y/N), what about us? I was going to use that money to get a room to sleep in." Chris said very worried. "I have a room here, for me, Lilly, and you too." I told Chris. "Wait, how did you get a room. Aren't they expensive? That's probably all your money from those ten frogs. You sure you don't want a little bit of money?" Kazuma asked as Aqua came back with some wine. "Oh, I got money. And besides, I kinda put the guild in debt to me from earlier this morning." I said as everyone became confused. "But didn't you only kill ten frogs and take a nap?" Chris asked. "Did I say take a nap. What I meant to say is that I accidentally stumbled upon a valley of drakes in which I killed hundreds earning me several hundred millions of Eris but I only took one million and that room for the rest of my life." I said as literally everyone in the tavern stopped what they were doing. "Fine, okay. It was thousands actually. I kinda may or may not have used a spell to challenge all males." I said. Lilly then jumped on me crying as she took my helmet off and cupped my cheeks as I felt tears falling onto my face. "Don't ever do anything as dangerous like that you idiot. You could of have gotten hurt and I just, I-I-I-" I stopped her with her rant as I kissed her.
I pulled away as we got back up on the bench at the table. "I can't promise you anything because I'm stubborn like that, but I can bring you along with me." I told Lilly. Lilly chuckled a little as she laid her head on my shoulder. Chris then punched my other shoulder as I looked to see her at tears too. "Come here." I said as I pulled Chris towards me. She cried into my chest for a bit too before relaxing. "No fair! (Y/N) is the nicest person I've met so far and yet you ignore me!" Aqua said as she cried a bit, a little drunk too. I brought out my bag of coins and pulled out two of the coins in there, a platinum coin. "Here is 50,000 Eris each to go and get a hotel room." I said as Kazuma thanked me profoundly and Aqua said that I was a god just like her. "And don't worry you two, tommorow we can go shopping as a little trip for us and get whatever." I told the two girls on clinging onto me.
*Timeskip*
It was late at night as the tavern stayed busy as people celebrated me. I was leading Chris and Lilly to our new room upstairs, down the hallway in the tavern. As we got to room number four, I unlocked the door with the key that I got to reveal a spacious bedroom. It had a huge bed for four people, a wardrobe, desk and chair, closet, and nightstand on either side. "Whoa." The two girls said. "Uhh, before we go to bed. I want to make it clear, I am not a pervert. I just prefer sleeping in my underwear, ok." I told the two as Lilly giggled and Chris blushed. "Oh, and hold still for a sec." I said and proceeded to use a spell on all three of us. It basically washed everyone and their clothes fully. It is though a complicated spell though. "Wow, that felt relaxing. Wait, did it just clean us?" Lilly asked. "Yep, sure did. I thought it might help you guys sleep a bit if you were clean." I said as I went to the closet. My armor and weapons got unsummoned and I got undress from my clothes from earth to my boxers. The girls though were very quiet. I got down and looked back to see both of them whispering back and forth.
"What you girls talking about?" I asked them as they nearly jumped out of their skin almost letting their skeletons out. "Uhhh. Chris!" Lilly said in a high pitch tone. Okay, now that's a tone only used when she gets nervous, especially with something like love. "About that wish from this morning." Chris said with a huge blush. I kept silent to let her finish. "I want to become your wife too!" She exclaimed. I got taken back by this. "But, you barely know me. I mean, you are very beautiful and I would love to marry someone like you, but I'm already married. And you might change your mind and find someone you really love as you would only want to be my friend." I said at Ruby speed. "The truth is, I've been watching your life since the accident. I felt a huge force of love and affection, and I was drawn to it. Everyday, I saw how you took care of Lilly, and I don't want to take it away, I just want to be apart of it. I never seen anyone like you to go that far like you, and just would like it if you treated me the same, even if for one day." She exclaimed as she begged on the floor.
I looked at Lilly as she nodded. "Are you sure?" I asked Lilly. "Yes, and my wish is for us three to, uhh." She squealed in a high pitch as she covered her face. I knew I just had to give Lilly time to think of her words and get the courage. So a brought Chris onto her feet and kissed her passionately before I took a pure golden ring summoned by me and put it on her finger. I then kissed her once more before Lilly grabbed my attention again. "Okay, woo. Just say it. Alright, (Y/N) I want us three to have sex tonight." She said as she looked me in the eyes. It didn't last long as she became fully red and looked down, with Chris doing the same. "Here I thought I was getting some sleep." I said as I made the two smile.
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Boom, there we go. Hope you enjoyed, please leave a comment about any suggestion or joke you have. I love reading them and responding. If you like this, please vote for this chapter and maybe follow me and I'll follow you back home. Until next time, coffee out.
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Brute (konosuba x male reader)
FanfictionMeet (Y/N), life sucks right now for him. Not because he died while single handly stopping a robbery at a convenience store, but because his childhood friend and crush told him that she loved him, meaning he got deathzoned. But maybe, it's not all b...
