5 Times Someone Stopped Virgil From Self-Harming and 1 Time He Stopped Himself

Janus

"Virgil, you are not staying up all night."

Janus sighs, leaning on the doorframe as some distant church bells somewhere in the city chime midnight. Virgil is sat at his desk, donning his smudge guard, his pen gliding across the tablet screen tirelessly and showing no signs of stopping.

"Virgil." Janus tries again to get his attention; this time, he's met with a tired stare. "Is your deadline set for tomorrow?" He waits for a moment before Virgil shakes his head. "Then you have no reason to rush. You've had a long day, just try to get some sleep."

There's a few seconds in which they stare each other down, but then Virgil finally gives in, saves his files and shuts off the monitor with a sigh, or maybe it's a yawn. "I wanted to just get it out of the way, not worry about it."

"Yes, I understand, but you could finish your art at a much higher quality tomorrow if you get some good sleep." The corners of Janus' lips tilt into a sympathetic frown as he walks over to Virgil's bed and sits down, patting the spot next to him. "Come here, tell me what's wrong."

"But I—" Virgil blinks confusedly and hesitates for a second but still complies, setting the smudge guard and pen down and moving to sit next to Janus. "How do you know something's wrong?"

Janus hums nonchalantly. "I think I've spent enough time with you, I can just tell. You seem a little... mentally exhausted."

"I'm gonna assume you can tell by being a psychology student and not by my outward appearance." Virgil rubs at his eyes self-consciously, well aware of the dark shadows that are always there, but continues. "I guess it's been a weird week. On Monday I got startled by some dumb driver in a sports car and nearly cut again but Logan helped me calm down, and later that day Roman told me that I shouldn't be so hard on myself when I'm dancing and to take a break before I hurt myself again, which— I— I didn't know I was even doing that. On Tuesday I didn't do much except go to class, I guess I was feeling a little depressed that day, but then yesterday Roman and I were doing relays together and Patton came to watch. He brought me some food and then I realised just how hungry I was. I keep... realising that maybe I'm hurting myself in more ways than I first thought, and it's making me anxious, so I was just trying to get other stressors out of the way, like this art project."

As he's listening intently to Virgil telling him about the week, Janus remembers those short moments that he's seen in the past few days - like when Logan and Virgil returned to the dorms before their class was even over and Virgil took a quick nap between then and his dance class. When he returned again with Roman late that night, looking fatigued and dozing off on Roman's shoulder while they both watched Youtube videos together on the couch. As well as that, while Janus was happy to see Virgil eating a full meal yesterday evening like the rest of the roommates, he did think that it was a little unexpected, and perhaps somebody had encouraged him to do so.

"I suppose me telling you that you look tired wouldn't help with those anxious feelings, hmm?" He smiles faintly when Virgil shakes his head again. "Realising your unhealthy habits are just the first step to overcoming them. Maybe discovering many of them in a short amount of time is a little overwhelming, but you can work on them one at a time. You still have your timer going, right?"

Virgil reaches for his phone on the corner of the desk and opens it up to the timer; it's a sobriety timer meant for people trying to quit drinking, but it works as a great 'days since cutting' timer as well. "Two months, fourteen days, five hours and thirty-one minutes."

A look of proudness overcomes Janus' usually neutral features. "That's almost two and a half months, you're doing amazingly. See, all you have to do in regards to trying not to cut again is to remind yourself of how far you've come, and to use those other techniques you've learned to lessen the urges." He places one arm around Virgil's back comfortingly. "We can talk about those other habits you have some other time, but for now, it's time to sleep."

"I'm not tired, though." Virgil attempts to protest, but Janus is already standing so he can pull back the bedsheets and wait for him to lie down.

"I can stay with you if you want?"

Virgil seems to think for a moment, fidgeting with his hands, but then sighs and starts to move. "Okay, fine."

Once the two of them are underneath the heap of blankets and bedsheets that litter Virgil's bed, Janus reaches to turn off the bedside lamp and then wraps his arms around his friend's waist from behind so that he's spooning him. "Just lay here long enough and you'll feel tired soon." He mumbles into Virgil's hair.

It feels extremely comfortable for Virgil to lay there with his back pressed against Janus' chest; he feels the previous anxiety and tension draining from his shoulders and his breathing becomes softer, slower as he relaxes and sinks into the touch. Janus is right, he thinks to himself, sleep should be able to help him concentrate more on his art once he wakes up again tomorrow, or rather, later in the morning, as midnight has already passed. He's about to question himself on why he hadn't thought of that before, but then figures that the anxiety had his thought process set on other things.

Hopefully, he can try to feel this relaxed more often, for it only takes another few minutes for him to drift into a deep sleep.