Warrior's Heart |Thor|

12. A Trip Down Memory Lane

 Though the two did not share a bed very often, the instinct to cuddle into Thor's back had moved Esme overnight. She woke sleepily to his hulking back. Judging by the calm breathing, he was still asleep. No thunder sounded, no rain pounded against the roof of the house—he was either not dreaming or dreaming about something better than before. Esme hoped for the latter.

Slowly, Esme removed herself from Thor's back, sitting up. At this, the God of Thunder stirred. He rolled onto his back, rubbing his eyes like a child would, blinking the goop back.

"Did you fall out of bed?" he asked.

"You know that I didn't."

"You know that bed is yours."

"Yes, I'm aware, but I figured someone needed my company more than it did." She offered him a sad smile. "I'm better, by the way. There is no need to feel guilty about last night."

Thor had his hands clasped on his chest, eyes ceiling bound. "Yes."

"Yes what?"

The god moved his head to look at Esme. He grabbed her wrist, guiding her hand towards his head.

Esme resisted slightly. "Are you sure?"

"You did hear me say yes, right?"

"I did, I want to make sure you're saying it for a rational reason."

"You must understand me. You need to know, Esme."

"And you want me to?"

Thor gave a slight pull on her wrist. "I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't want you to."

"A-all right." Esme crawled to maneuver Thor's head onto her lap.

"Easy with my hair."

She chuckled. "I'm not going to sit on it." He gazed up at her, she felt dragons in her stomach. She was terrified at what she would see in his mind. "Last chance to take this back."

Thor grabbed her wrists gently in his big hands, guiding them once more to his head.

Inhaling a shaky breath, Esme allowed her hands to make contact with Thor's head. She closed her eyes, allowing her gift to do its work.

While she didn't get a prolonged history of his memories, she got enough flashes to make sense of things. Time travel with the Avengers. Going back to the moment his mother, Frigga, was murdered by Dark Elves in order to retrieve the Aether, the Reality Stone of the Infinity Stones. The sinking depression, him feeling as though he was far from worthy. The moment he geared for battle against the purple Titan named Thanos.

Esme saw images of the final stand, when everyone came together to clash with the enemy. Thor's memories shifted further back, throwing her for a loop. She glanced at her time with Thor on Earth, to work with the Avengers to apprehend Loki.

She glimpsed her first kiss with the God of Thunder, back on Asgard, after the situation with the Dark Elves had been taken care of. She had been a guard in the prison and had learned about Loki's "death", though she had thought it real at the time.

Esme stiffened as she saw the ship she and the remaining Asgardians had fled on before Thanos had come aboard. Through Thor's eyes, she saw herself impaled with the metal shard. How pale she had looked in his eyes.

She gasped as she felt a force squeeze her brain—but that was what Thanos had done to Thor when in the hands of the Titan. She saw Loki attempt with a bloody knife of all weapons to try and sneak an attack on Thanos not long after he had given the villain the Space Stone as a way to spare Thor's head from being crushed.

She saw the purple hand crush Loki's throat, heard the devastating snap. She cringed when she saw his body hit the ship floor.

Tears leaked from Esme's eyes as she felt Thor's agony at the loss of Loki. At the finality that there was no coming back from that death, that it had been permanent this time.

In the midst of sifting through his memories, Esme knew Thor had her anchored to reality. She was aware of his hands on her arms, holding her together. I am here, his hold seemed to tell her.

In a fleeting moment, the memories disappeared. Esme opened her eyes, mildly startled by what she had seen. She wanted to fall back onto the floor, but Thor's head in her lap, and his grip on her, kept her grounded.

"By the gods..." she rasped. The world started to spin in her eyes.

Thor rose into a sitting position on the floor. Esme sat on her knees as Thor maneuvered to face her. Tears glistened in the God of Thunder's eyes.

Esme crossed the gap to hug him, and he squeezed her tight as though she were the last good thing on this planet.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered into his hair. "While I can never ever understand what you've gone through...I'm here. The Avengers, whoever is left, they are here, too. You do not have to keep this all to yourself."

"I don't want this to consume me, Esme. Thanos' victory destroyed me...it destroyed us. I don't—I don't want this to..."

"I know, I know." Esme tried to hug the god tighter. "Remember what I said before, on the roof that night? We'll get the sun shining on you again, for Loki. Even if he's not here, you certainly haven't forgotten him. Nobody's ever truly gone."

Esme pulled back slightly, wiping the tears that dribbled down his face. She also moved hair to prevent it from sticking. She exhaled loudly, allowing herself to press her forehead against his. 

**Honestly, the music works better for when Esme is digging through his mind.**