Julianne's StepFather

13. Falling

Book 2
13. Falling

Four Years Later...

Quentin

I was rarely home, if anyone wanted to find me, then all they had to do was look inside the police station, inside my office, and find my hand balled up, fist to my mouth, staring blankly at my computer screen. I wasn't doing much, the only major thing that went on in my life for the last four years was going through my divorce, moving out of the house, and getting my promotion. And although I wanted nothing from Estelle, she still managed to find ways to insert herself back into my life as she had never left.
Come to find out; I wasn't the only one cheating in our marriage. Estelle was trying so hard to get me to stay that I hadn't realized what she was doing behind my back. No, it wasn't the reason I wanted out of our marriage, infidelity wasn't the issue. I had more faults in that department than she did. It was because I actually didn't love her and overall she was just an atrocious human being. Her looks no longer mattered when it came to figuring out who she was as a person. The things she allowed to happen to Julianne when she was a child were unacceptable. So I gave her an ultimatum when it came down to finalizing the divorce. I didn't want her asking for anything, and I wouldn't press charges on her for endangering her child. I had that kind of pull in the force, so I could get her convicted with no problems if I wanted to.
I removed her pictures from my desk a long time ago, and for a while, the only pictures on there were of Julianne, after about a year or so she stopped returning my calls, so that resulted in my just keeping her hidden in my desk. For a while I was depressed, I was drinking, I was destroying things. For a while, I thought I had wasted my time with Julianne, that everything I had done was all for nothing. For a long time, I blamed her for why my life wasn't going right. But eventually, I pushed past it and just focused on my life and getting back on track. Four years later I was the head honcho for my division and I had great benefits which rewarded me with my condo, vacation time, and fantastic medical and dental insurance. I was where I wanted to be for a long time and I figured that I was so distracted with the women in my life that I couldn't have anything I had because of them.
That didn't mean that I wasn't unhappy though. I was miserable because for the longest I believed Julianne was going to come back and that we were going to be together. I ended my marriage, moved out, and made room for her for when she did come home. She just dropped off the face of the earth without a single goodbye. And yeah, I could have looked into her whereabouts but that would have meant that I didn't trust her. So I just looked at her social media when I missed her and around the same time she stopped accepting my calls was about the same time she stopped posting things. I had gotten worried, sure. Maybe I had gotten a hold of Joey a time or two to find out if she had heard from her, but all Joey had told me was that Julianne switched her major and she was going to be gone longer than expected. That was all she knew, or that was all she was going to give me. I didn't know.
I'd be lying if I never thought about her walking through the door looking around for me, and wearing sunglasses to hide who she was from other officers until she came across me and smiled. I would get up from my desk and run to her, engulfing her in a soul-crushing hug, and then I'd bring her down and kiss her. I had never been in love like I had been when I was with Julianne. And I felt like I couldn't feel anything like that again. She made me feel things I couldn't feel with any woman I had been with. She did have that effect on me.
I needed to do something else, I needed to get out of my office. I needed to get my mind off of Julianne. She seemed to make my days worse when I wondered what we could have been. Wondering what she would look like in the morning when I woke up next to her. How she would look getting ready in the morning, fixing up her hair, putting on makeup. It was something I imagined for a long time, and I thought eventually it would happen for us.
I opened the drawer on my right and pulled out her photo. Anyone could tell it was taken years ago, and all I could do was imagine how much more beautiful she was now that four years had passed.
She was so beautiful, she was everything I wanted and she dropped me as if I was nothing. I placed the photo back in the drawer and got up from my desk. It was about the right time to go to lunch. I felt like I was holed up in the department, and it wasn't like I had too much to do. Reports were finished. Filing wasn't my job so I took every case I looked over and gave them to my assistant before telling her I was leaving for a couple of hours and to take messages for anyone looking for me. I just needed a moment to clear my head, it wasn't like I did that for myself lately. I was purposefully shoving my head into my work. A couple of hours wouldn't hurt anybody.
I threw open the door to a newer version of my Jeep and got into it, not thinking about a destination. Maybe grabbing a bite to eat would help me not be so grumpy. I raked my hands through my hair as I sat behind the wheel and I took a moment to breathe. My days were always fine until I thought about her, and usually, it would get so bad that I would leave work earlier because it would throw me off completely. I had to get my head out of my ass and find better ways to forget about how she tore my heart out. She had no problem telling me how she felt any time she had an issue with me, it shouldn't have been hard for her to end things with me.
Four years since she's been gone. I made it sound like she died or something.
Three years, five months, and twelve days since I've heard from her. I had been driven crazy and I was sure at some point I had seen her walking the streets downtown but that ended in embarrassment because usually when I approached the woman I thought was Julianne, it turned out not to be her at all. Leaving me in the middle of the sidewalk as if I were in the middle of having a psychotic break.
I calmed down from that and I was extra cautious about who I approached on the street. But that made no exception for today because not half an hour later, I thought I saw her. I had a hard time looking at her from the road, so the street she was closest to, I turned and parked. I took a deep breath before throwing the door open. I slammed it and waited for cars to pass as she started walking again. I had to hurry up and catch up, I had to. I weaved in and out of people catching up to her, and when I called her the first time she turned her head because she heard her name being called but she didn't stop.
"Julianne!" I called to her again and that time she turned the upper part of her body and saw me stop as I exhaled sharply because it was her. She stopped in her tracks and just stared at me.
Nothing much changed about me. I had more grey hair than anything. But I still looked the same, just more irritated than usual. Her on the other hand, had changed in many ways that I couldn't describe it just by standing in front of her. She looked at the woman standing at her side, and then looked at me, trying to play as if she had no idea who I was, but I could tell just by the way she was looking at me when she removed her sunglasses. She was terrified.