Instinct {Book 1 in Instinct}

Chapter Twenty-Nine

    Today is the day we put away Delilah. I should be nervous but for some reason I'm not. Milo had already left with Raphael and Jacob so I am just with my family for the time being.
    "How have you been feeling?" My mom asks as I sit on the couch.
    "I am feeling a lot better." I admit. I still had the cut on my stomach but that isn't going to change anytime soon. Everything else closed up and bruised over already.
    "Well you need to stop the recklessness. I need the rest of my children to stay safe." my mother scolds all of us.
    " We are all here," I stand up motioning our surroundings. "But we will never truly be safe with the government out there."
    "Allonia Anderson, watch your tone. I cannot handle losing another child." she snaps back.
    "Well I am getting Ancel back. Everyone will be happier anyway regardless as long as Ancel is home. I was never here to begin with." I lash out. I was fuming, I didn't come this far dealing with all of this bullshit just to be scolded by my mother and told not to go.
    "Maybe we should all calm down." Andreus suggests. He turns to me seeing that my fists are clenched mostly out of anger.
    "I need to go." I storm out. I hate to leave things that way but it's the god awful truth. I wasn't there really in the first place. I did whatever I could to get away from that town. Even if that meant leaving my family, no matter if we all hated it or not they all found ways to be happy without me being there what different would this make?
    "What was that?" Alondra asks when she finally catches up to me.
    "We have spent the last ten years being controlled. I am not about to deal with mom trying to as well. I know it's been difficult but we have come so far. I just want to get Ancel back, even though we can't have dad." I begin to feel the tears escape from my eyes. "I want you guys to be together, whether I am here or not. I want to know you guys are safe."
    "We will get Ancel back, we will figure everything out. Just mom is scared for you right now." My sister holds me as she speaks. "But we need now more than ever to stick together."
~~~~~
1 year ago
"Allonia you need to stop leaving!" My mom yells at me, as she tries to take away my go bag.
"I have to. We wouldn't have half of the things we do without me going out into the woods." I look at my mother annoyed. Right now isn't the first nor will it be the last time she ever tries to keep me from going. None-the-less I am still going.
"Allonia there have been so many times where you have almost gotten caught. What if one ends in you never coming home?" my eyes soften when I look at her. She was right but this is a risk I am willing to take.
"Mom, I already feel like a dead woman walking. It's the same thing everyday. It feels like when we were all forced into our homes in the beginning I hate this. I can't live my life cooped up here. I would much rather risk it and have some form of life." My mom gave me a distasteful look when I finish. She looked angry almost.
"Allonia are you serious? At least you are alive! They could have taken you when you were a young child just like they did many others, and you are saying you would rather be dead? Do you not hear yourself?"
I could see nothing but anger in her cold features. I hate it here, I will never grow accustomed to this life like my mother and many others. I can't just suck it up, I can't just act like this is the new normal. I want life to be back to the good old days, even though I couldn't experience much.
"I am leaving and you are not stopping me." I tell her as I place my knife in my boot and take my bag from her hands. "Lenna is waiting for me. I will be back in two days. I will see if I can find some more blankets because winter is coming soon."
With that I leave to meet Lenna at the border. I hate leaving on bad terms. I guess my mom just wants me to be safe and happy but this life never gave me that. Every day is the same until I am in the forest. Something just keeps drawing me back. Maybe it's the feeling of being closer to a love I could have had, or just the fact that being in the forest removes me from reality. Whatever it is it's working.
~~~~~
We both stood there for a few moments before I actually settled down. "We need to get to figure out how to get Delilah by herself." I tell my sister as we began to walk back to the field from yesterday.
"She could just be there though because of the fact that she helps run bootcamp." She shrugs. This is a horrible plan but what's the worst that could happen? She already did her worst, and she knows she can't kill me.
"I already settled it. Delilah will be there tonight." Kenzo tells us before sitting down next to me. My body tensed for a moment but then soon relaxed. Kenzo agreed that he wouldn't push anything so it doesn't matter.
"How did you get her to?" I ask looking over at him and he puts his head down.
"She said she needed to talk to me and I said that tonight would be better." He tells me quickly. I could tell that it was something deeper than that but I decided against pushing his buttons.
"Well then it's settled. We can get Lenna in on it as soon as she gets here." Alondra tells us.
"So now we wait." I shrug.