in a hole in the ground there lived two hobbits, not a nasty, dirty, wet whole full of worms and oozy smells. this was a hobbit hole. Which means good food, a warm hearth and all the comforts of home.
these two little hobbits were named Bilbo and B...
A/N- This chapter is a bit of a shorter one however I thought it was a good place to stop otherwise it would have been a really long chapter...
Anyway I hope you enjoy!!! Please let me know.
(All credit for art goes to original artist)
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Bilbo struts into the tiled floored kitchen with a scowl gracing his face. In front of him is one of the dwarfs whose name is Nori, Bilbo looks down to see what is busying his hands and finds him trying to clean his China teacup out with a doily. This makes the glare on the little fellow's face deepen, "Excuse me, that is a doily, not a dishcloth." Bilbo exclaims, ripping the fabric from his grasp. Nori startled by the action huffs and moves to a different area of the kitchen. Away from the hobbits wrath.
Bofur lounges against the near fireplace and looks towards Bilbo as he huffs and puffs with the situation, he has found himself in. "But it's full of holes?" He questions the humpy hobbit in front of him.
"It's supposed to look like that, it's crochet." Bilbo sighs out trying to fold the now dirty doily.
"Oh, and a wonderful game it is too, if you've got the balls for it." Bofur jokes back, laughing along with a few of his other comrades within the room at his pun.
Bilbo rolls his eyes at the comment and moves away, throwing the doily down onto a nearby table. "Bebother and confiscate these dwarves!" He harshly whispers to himself screwing up his nose and clenching his fists by his sides. He is utterly infuriated by the guests in his house, and even more angry that his sister has seemed to welcome them in with open arms.
Gandalf enters the kitchen, concerned of the state that he has found the little hobbit in. "My dear Bilbo, what on earth is the matter?" He asks, holding a tankard to place on the washing up pile.
"What's the matter? I'm surrounded by dwarves! What are they doing here?" Bilbo exclaims in complete and utter disbelief of the wizard's calmness towards the madness around him.
Gandalf observes a scuffle between two dwarfs. Bofur grabs one end of a chain of sausages hanging off Nori's shoulder trying to take them from him, they play tug of war for a moment, as Gandalf watches on quite amused. "They're quite a merry gathering... once you get used to them." He explains.
"I don't want to get used to them!" Bilbo grits his teeth together in frustration towards the tall wizard, leading him into the hallway. Bilbo points to a mud splattered rug as they walk though. "There's mud trod into the carpet; they've pillaged the pantry! I'm not even going to tell you what they've done in the bathroom; they've all but destroyed the plumbing! And don't get me started on my sister! Look at her!" Bilbo points towards his sister sitting at the table with Kili in-front of her laughing at something was said. Fili is beside her showing her one of his knives. Bobbie is leaning close to him to see the intricate designs within the blade. They all have a mug of ale in their hands as they laugh and jest with each other, seemingly having a very good time.
"They are getting along quite nicely to my eyes." Gandalf advocates, slightly smiling at the small group.
"Well, I don't like it, they seem too close after just knowing each other for a few hours, and that blonde one has had his eye on her ever since they got here, it's worrying me. I just don't understand what they're doing in my house!" Bilbo finishes with a large sigh, placing his hands on his hips with disdain.
Just then the youngest dwarf Ori approaches the pair unknowing about Bilbos resentment and taps him on the shoulder. "Sorry, I hate to interrupt, but where would you like me to put my plate?"
Fili approaches the small group with a strut after leaving the hobbit with the other dwarfs sitting further down the table. "Here you go, Ori, give it to me." Fili takes the plate gently from Ori and quickly turns to throw it to Kili, standing at the doorway. Kili throws the dish into the kitchen, where Biffur stands by the sink, catching all the plates and starts to wash them up.
Ori, Bilbo, and Bobbie watch as the dish throwing cycle continues, while Gandalf avoids getting hit by the toss from Fili to Kili.
"Excuse me, that's my mother's West Farthing crockery, it's over a hundred years old!" Bilbo exclaims with a hand on his forehead in a stressed state.
The dwarves ignore him and continue to throw the plates about. "Never mind the bloody plates bilbo." Bobbie reprimands her brother from the table, "What about them, that's China glass, they could seriously hurt themselves if they get hit or one of them brakes." Bobbie finishes, as stressed as Bilbo but for her new friends, not the plates.
"Don't worry little one, they'll be fine." Balin looks towards the worried hobbit, who still has a frown covering her face despite the comforting words from the elder of the two.
The rest of the dwarfs still seated at the table begin beating and scraping their cutlery against the wood. Looking to her right Bobbie finds Dwalin, Gloin, Nori and Bofur sitting at the table, rhythmically drumming with their utensils, and slicing them together to craft a rhythm.
"Could you please not do that? You'll blunt them!" Bilbo complains to the four not wanting to do more work than he already must when the dwarfs leave.
"Oh, you hear that, lads? He says we'll blunt the knives." Bofur's fake concern in his voice sings out.
In the hallway behind the siblings Fili and Kili continue to throw the dishes around, singing to the beat of the banging utensils.
"Blunt the knives, bend the forks!" Kili starts singing stomping his feet.
"Smash the bottles and burn the corks!" Fili continues bouncing a plate from one elbow to the other before throwing it to the kitchen.
"Smash the bottles and crack the plates!
That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!" All the dwarfs chime in as bobbie laughs at the lyrics.
The dwarves continue to throw the dishes from the dining room to the hallway, to the kitchen and back to the dining room, singing all the while.
"Cut the cloth,
tread on fat!
Leave the bones on the bedroom mat!
Pour the milk on the pantry floor,
splash the wine on every door!
Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl,
pound them up with a thumping pole!
When you're finished, if they are whole,
send them down the hall to roll!"
The dwarfs have a slight intermission with Bofur playing a flute and a few of them dancing, Bobbie stands to the side with a massive smile on her face, giggling quietly while clapping her hands to the rhythm. She's amazed by their incredible creativity on the spot like this.
"That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!"
Bilbo rushes around his house, frantic and panicked. While Bobbie continues to bop along to the song smiling and giggling at her brother's silly antics.
Bilbo sprints into the dining room with bobbie close behind to find Gandalf and the dwarves are circled around the table, laughing at the frightened hobbit. All the dishes are stacked neatly on the table, sparkly clean. Bilbo sighs a breath of relief.
Suddenly, there are three loud knocks on the door, everyone falls silent and looks to the direction of the sound. Gandalf looks to the group,
