The Runaway [c.p]

What Happens When I Drink Red Bull...

"No, I'm going car shopping,"I told Sarah over the phone the next day, which was thankfully Saturday, as I tied my shoes.

"Oh... What are you getting?"she asked from a distance, I bet I was on speaker.

"Eh, whatever I can find. Hey, wanna go?"

"Sure? Hey there's an old car shop literally across the street from my house. I could walk to yours then we could walk over together?" 

"Sounds like a plan. Hey is it illegal to shoot a shotgun in city limits?" I walked to my back door and waited for her to answer.

"Uh... I think so? Why?"

"Because there's this stupid raccoon that keeps stalking my house, and I wanna shoot it so it doesn't give me rabies or something."

She laughed. "Well I guess if you're using the gun for offense, but you can't just randomly shoot things." I walked out onto my back porch and gasped.

"OH.... MY... EFFIN.... GOD...!!!"I said real slowly, to add effect. 

"What?!"

"There's a baby raccoon sleeping on my porch. And it's so cute!" I squatted down so I could get a better look at it. 

"Hey, I'm like right outside your house can I just come in?"

"Yeah sure. I'm out back." I hung up and started to pet the little guy's fur. Someone opened the back door and 'awed' behind me.

"Awe, he is cute! But, uh, where's his mom?" Right as she said that, something else ran on the porch. I froze and slowly looked up.

"Sarah..."I whispered. It was that stupid raccoon I was talking about.

"Yeah?"she whispered back.

"Get my shotgun."

"Hunter! It hasn't done any harm to you!" I quickly stood up and it charged at me. My eyes widened and I screamed. It jumped on me and scratched my arm. I threw it off me and over the railing of the porch. Next, I grabbed the baby and Sarah and I ran inside.

Sarah locked the door and I held the baby in my not injured arm. Then, I started laughing. "Dude, you jinxed it!"

Her jaw dropped. "What? Me? Did not! You're the one that stood up!"

"Yes and now I can proudly say I fought off a rabid raccoon, and I have the scars to prove it!" I held up my bloody arm. Sarah scrunched up her nose.

"Maybe we should get that wrapped up..."

I nodded and set the baby down on the table. It still hasn't woken up yet. I hope it's not dead. But if it was, why would the other raccoon be fighting me? Maybe the baby is its dinner? Ew, that'd just be horrible and nasty. Do raccoons eat their own kind? Hmm...

"Okay, just hold your arm still and...."Sarah told me as she wrapped my arm in gauze. "...Ta da!"

"Yay! Okay so now we can either A) Shoot that stupid ass raccoon, B) Go car shopping, or C) Get this baby rabbis shots. You pick."

"Well, we should probably stop that thing from killing us... Right?" I shrugged and walked off into the house. I heard her follow me. Then, my phone rang.