Don't worry My Son Mommy Will Take The Pain Away ( Complete ) [Editing]

my love my child

- “How cruel are you? Are you not satisfied yet? You're so desperate to take someone's life you'd take your own child's life.”

I hummed while shaking my head rhythmically and clutching my child's scarf to my chest. I ignored the man standing in front of me… my husband. I had lost my mind. The three lifetimes I've lived not once did I received his love, but it didn't matter because he gave me the one true thing that matter: my son. Now, he was gone. I had nothing left. He gritted his teeth and dragged the blood stained scarf out my arms. I was shocked. He knew I'd only react to the scarf. He ripped it in two and dropped it on the floor with the memories of my three lifetimes with my son. My hands trembled as it fell to the ground, tears fell from my eyes as I looked at the ripped up scarf.

- “Why are you so attached to that cloth anyway?”- He snarled.

As the salt from my tears burned my eyes, the word echoed through my mind… 'cloth'... Out of the many times he saw my child he never noticed what the scarf meant to him. A chuckle left my dry cracked lips as I suddenly burst out into deranged laughter as tears rained down my eyes. I looked at him in front of me and saw my son, but my son never showed me that face, filled with pure hatred and rage. He closed his eyes and turned away.

- “You truly are a 'wicked woman'”

'Wicked woman'… If so, what does that make you? I heard the door slam and the bolt lock. I looked at my child's scarf once again. Yes, I am wicked for making my child suffer three lifetimes but don't worry I'll make sure it never happens again…if there's a next life. 

I swing my head as hard as I can… BASH!!! It hurts but not as much as losing my child. Once again I hit myself. I started to feel dizzy, but I could hear the bolt pulling, I could hear the guards saying: “Your Majesty, the Empress Regent is committing suicide.” 

Before they could stop me and prolong my suffering, I did it one last time with every bit of strength in my body. PUM!!! My body fell on the floor. I was dizzy, everything was a blur. I felt weak. I could feel someone holding me, but I couldn't see his face. He wrapped his fingers between mine. All I could see was blood and all I could think about was my son and seeing him.

- “Why do you hate me so much?”

- “Nathaniel...I ...hope…”

That you're finally happy with her now, because she is your true love. I'll never stand in your way again, cause to truly stop my child from suffering is preventing him from existing. But he will always exist in my heart, so my child, I'm sorry but I hope you will forgive me. I want you to know, more than anything, that I love you. I also love your father for giving me the chance to give birth to you and to become the mother of an angel like you.

I felt something warm around me, I looked down and saw those big round ruby red eyes that resembled his father. I hugged him. It felt like I was in heaven. I looked at him regretfully knowing fully well what I was about to do. It seems that I will leap in time, be reborn or whatever it is call. He smiled brightly and nodded in approval.

 I take one last look at my boy. His jet-black hair, his slightly tanned skin, just like his father. He was about 8 years old at this point, which was the last time I saw him. I hugged him, not wanting to let go… But before I knew it, I open my eyes. I was in front of my mother and the Empress Dowager, Nathaniel's mother. Though she wasn't the Empress Dowager at this moment. She was the Empress Regent and she was also filling as the emperor since her husband died three years ago. That means right now I'm 15 years old and it was at this moment that my fate was sealed. I looked at my mother with tears filling my eyes. In my past life I wasn't reincarnated this far back. The first time was on my wedding day, the second time was when I was pregnant with my son Alexander and the third time was during the time he was three years old. But this time, to change the future, to prevent my child from suffering, I must not approach or marry the man whom I'd love in three lifetimes: Nathaniel Antoninus Aelius Pius.

Edited by Fatal2020