The Second Charm

Charm 2

THE SECOND CHARM |
Chapter 2

Nakasimangot akong nakikinig sa pag-uusap nilang dalawa sa loob ng sasakyan. They went from Toy Story to remote controlled cars to frozen yogurt in a flash.

The friend Spike found in Ian made it so easy for them to connect, even during the first time they met. Sometimes, the memory of it feels like a stab on my chest.

"Nakasimangot si Mommy oh." Puna ni Ian habang nagmamaneho ako. I tried my best not to roll my eyes. Nasa front seat siya at kalong niya si Spike dahil ayaw nitong manatili sa back seat. 

Ganoon pa din sila hanggang sa bumaba na kami, pumasok sa mall at kumain sa Jollibee.

"Yung may toy sa akin, Daddy!" Spike announced excitedly.

I had to grimace when I heard Ian order all six toys, because that means he has to buy six meals to get those toys but the counter staff told him they only have one toy left.

"Okay, sige, yun nalang." He had no choice but to nod.

Ian shared stories and Spike listened eagerly while I devoured my food faster than usual. Ako ang unang natapos at kahit na nababanas na ako dahil halos makalimutan na nila na nag-eexist pala ako dito, ay hinayaan ko nalang silang mag-usap dahil twice a month lang naman ito nangyayari.

Good thing I have emails I haven't answered yet, kaya iyon ang inatupag ko upang hindi mainip.

We went for a walk afterwards, and ended up walking towards a toy store. Spike hurriedly went to where the toy cars were, leaving me behind with his father.

"Thanks for this chance," Ian turned to me with sentimental eyes. I was about to say 'you're welcome' when he added... "Kung pwede sana, gawin na nating every week? Like every Sunday?"

Nice. Now it's all ruined.

“No can do." Iling ko.

“Bakit? Nakita mo naman kung gaano kasaya ang anak natin. Hindi na nga niya nararanasan araw-araw, ipagkakait mo pa pati yung once a week?"

"My parents will notice." I reasoned out. They're sharp as hell and would find out our secret rendezvous if we make this routinary.

"Sahara, we aren't kids anymore. Pwede ka nang magdesisyon mag-isa."

"Kaya nga! At ito ang desisyon ko. I let you hang out with Spike pero lowkey lang dahil ayaw ko ng gulo! This is how I want to live my life! Peacefully!"

"Saang banda ang peaceful dito?" He shot back. "This is like a ticking bomb. Sooner or later, they will still find out. Kaya bago pa mangyari yun, unahan mo na."

"Ang dali lang kasi sayo ng lahat, ano? Na para bang walang consequences ang lahat ng bagay. Hindi ka pa rin pala nagbago." You still don't know how to look at things from my point of view...

"Spike and I are going home." I declared.

"Hey, wait. I'm sorry." Maagap niyang saad. His hands tried to hold my arm pero binawi niya rin iyon bago pa man dumapo sa akin. "Hindi ko intensyon na makipagtalo sayo. Please, just forget about what I said."

"You should be careful about the words you say." Sabi ko. "I hope you still know that my parents loathe you and vowed not to let you see Spike again. Naawa lang ako sa bata kasi nagkakamuwang na at hinahanap ka."

"Kaya nga. Nagkakamuwang na ang anak natin. But he doesn't have to live a life without a father because I'm here and I'm more than willing na gampanan ang tungkulin ko bilang ama niya. If you would just let me..."

I let out an exasperated sigh. "You don't have to go overboard. Sapat na ang ganitong nagkikita kayo paminsan-minsan. Don't try to complicate things. And don’t you have a girlfriend? Doon mo nalang ibuhos ang panahon mo.”

"I dumped them."

"THEM!" I scowled. Plural! Looks like someone never got to rid himself of his bad habits!

"You can judge me, I don't care." He replied nonchalantly. Ugh. Jerk.

"Daddy, alin yung maganda dito?" Singit ni Spike sabay pakita sa dalawang kotse.

"Let's buy them both para hindi ka na mahirapan." Ngumiti si Ian sa bata at nagtatalon sa tuwa si Spike.

"You're spoiling him." Saway ko. And unconsciously teaching him that if you can't decide which one to pick, you can just pick them both! But life isn't always like that! You can't always apply that 'quick fix' because real life has consequences.

"Bumabawi lang ako. Seven years akong wala sa buhay niya. Sa buhay niyo. Hindi pa sapat yang hot wheels, o yung ice cream, o yung konting panahon. Babawi pa ako sa inyo." Paliwanag niya.

"Wag mo na akong isali, Ian... I'm just here because Spike's a kid and can't go alone yet. But when he's old enough, I won't have to chaperone him.”

"Come on, Sahara. Do you think his happiness would be holistic kung hindi nya tayo kasamang pareho? He deserves a complete family. He deserves to be happy."

"How about me?" I questioned. "Don't you give a damn about how I feel and what I want?"

I don't want to force the three of us under one roof for the sake of having a "whole family."

"Daddy, are you fighting with Mommy?" Spike queried, cutting the tension that has built up in the air.

"What? No, baby. We are not fighting." Ian explained. "Let's go pay for those cars."

Dinala nila sa counter ang mga laruan at chinarge lahat sa credit card ni Ian.

"Thank you, Daddy!" Masayang sambit ni Spike, giving Ian a quick hug.

God, I can't watch this.

•••

"Ang tahimik mo." Puna ni Ian na nakaupo pa rin sa front seat habang nagmamaneho ako. Nasa backseat si Spike, but only because he fell asleep.

"Sahara," sambit ni Ian. I must admit, hearing him say my name still gives me knots in the stomach, but that may be tiny remnants of the past that will soon vanish completely.

"Bakit?" Flat kong tanong.

"Gusto ko sanang gamitin ni Spike ang last name ko. Ako ang daddy nya. He's supposed to be a Guzman."

"No. He will remain an Acosta and that's final. Saka, pati ba naman yun, papakialaman mo pa? Di paba sapat na nakakasama mo sya? Saka di papayag ang mga magulang ko."

"You are old enough to make your own decisions. Wala silang magagawa kung magdedesisyon ka."

"Ayoko sabi. Saka gusto ko pareho kami ng apelyido ni Spike." Sagot ko.

"Then marry me, Sahara. Para Guzman kayong pareho ni Spike." He retorted, dahilan para malaglagan ako ng panga.